Yesterday, I went with Anupa and friends to watch “Rockstar” – a long tortuous movie brimming with songs and puzzling character developments. But dissecting Hindi movies is a thankless job.
Nevertheless, one aspect of the movie stuck in my mind. Just like my response to the “Ta Ra Rum Pum” hero abandoning his dog, the crowning moment of stupidity came early on when the protagonist sets his eyes on a hot and sophisticated chick. You can almost hear “Up town girl” playing in the background! But this by itself is hardly loony – love knows no boundaries and all that.
So how does our man set about winning his lady? By harassing her. He first walks up to her when she’s with all her friends and insists that she give him a “chance.” As if every woman is somehow obligated to try on every random stranger she meets. Her efforts in telling him to “bugger off!” fall on deaf ears as he barges into her class proclaiming his undying love. He then worms his way into her car, holds the window down as she’s trying to roll it up, and hangs on to it as the car leaves pleading with her to accept him!
By now, our respectable downtown boy has broken a dozen rules in the sexual harassment book. But guess what? The end result is that he finally “gets” the girl in true Hindi movie style.
I’ve seen this scenario play out in dozens of movies, both Hindi and Tamil. Basically all the hero has to do is force himself repeatedly on the girl in an uncouth and blunt way to “awaken” the feelings she’s had for him all along. All she has to do is “look beneath the surface,” beyond that rough exterior to find the sensitive, caring man behind it. In other words, when it comes to chasing women, “No” means “Yes!”
It’s enough to make me want to puke.
Which woman in real life falls for a brute who doesn’t respect her privacy, follows her around (sometimes with a bunch of scary looking guys), blocks her path, enters her car and sometimes even lays hands on her without her permission? This kind of fantasy land approach to wooing women seems to have caught the imagination of large sections of men who go around harassing women on the roads, schools and colleges.
The mild phrase “eve teasing” is meant to hide the seriousness of this kind of harassment. If I were a woman, I can only imagine how scared I would be if a strange guy followed me around all the time declaring his “love” and laying his hands on me. So what makes this kind of uncouth behavior so appealing? What possesses filmmakers to have to resort to these kind of antics?
I get it that a “lower class” guy has few options to interact with “upper class” women, but that doesn’t mean he resorts to stalking and other scary behavior. That’s not likely to win him anything outside of the imaginary world of movies. There’s no god given right for every guy to be able to “have a chance” with every woman on the planet.
Some movies do it tastefully. Cameron’s “Titanic” is a great example of a love story between the poor Jack Dawson and the uptown Rose. He doesn’t have to resort to breaking and entering. The love between them grows naturally as a result of circumstances arising organically. He didn’t have to impose himself.
IHM had written about what goes on in the mind of an eve teaser, and I’m pretty sure I have the answer right here. An “eve teaser” thinks that with sufficient harassment and perseverance, every woman can be “won over” and her dormant feelings for random strangers need to be awakened by a little rough treatment, stalking and general disrespect for her right to say “No.”
Well what more can we expect from Bollywood which is funded by mafia loonies in the Middle East, where male chauvinism is the norm? Recently, there was a case in Iran, I think, where an amorous Romeo threw acid in the face of a lady who rejected his advances, permanently scarring her. Does that sound familiar?
Bollywood is synonymous with producing the most brain-dead, IQ-busting, sleep inducing, deviant-encouraging, grade-A crap, barring some films from Aamir Khan.
But of course, it’s freedom of expression, right? So they have every right to be funded by criminals, encourage criminal behaviour, and lower the national IQ. The rest of us have to worry that much more about our sisters and daughters. The demeaning of women in Bollywood films is sad. How many of those “pretty faces” can actually act? Why is a criminal like Salman Khan, who runs over street urchins and kills endangered animals, still on screen? If he had even shared access to a brain cell, the vacuous fool could learn to act.
Maybe Pakistan, in banning the broadcasting of Indian media content from its airwaves, was on to something?
Meanwhile that amorous jerk actor is coming to a parliamentary seat near you!
In reply to Anon
While I don’t agree with the portrayals in movies, they certainly have full rights to show anything they want – they have freedom of expression after all.. I’m not suggesting that these types of stupid movies be made illegal or that they should be banned. It’s for the market place and customers to decide whether they like it or not.
And bollywood does seem to be changing – they’re trying new things and more movies have a social message or explore important themes. It’s a sad fact that some elements like the one mentioned in my post still exist. But as consumers we should make it clear what is acceptable and what is not.
Fantastic post.
Still, what do you expect from a movie called “Rockstar”, starring the de facto chauvinist of the desi movie industry? I don’t think I can name a single Salman Khan flick in which he DOESN’T act like he’s God’s Gift to Women.
Thanks to a ridiculously prudish upbringing, a lot of Indian men have little idea how to even INTERACT with women, much less express romantic attraction. Bring in the added complication of diverse backgrounds and a basically chauvinistic culture, and you have a first class disaster on your hands. I SEE that disaster all around me here in India.
As a male college student I get to hear about all the “strategies” that people deploy for getting a girlfriend. When you hear these strategies, it becomes obvious that many people have only the vaguest idea what a real girl might be like. And most of those ideas come from Bollywood. It’s not going to change until true co education becomes the norm and families but down on their intense prudishness.
In reply to cynicallyengineered
Agreed. So many men view women not as people, but as objects who respond in a certain way to certain stimuli! I also blame our schools system where you have “boys” schools and “girls” schools and teachers making one gender sit on one side of the class and the other on the opposite side.
Colleges are even worse in their discrimination. Unless we allow the genders to mix freely throughout school and college, how will guys ever realize that women are humans just like they are and need to be treated with the same respect they automatically show other men?
Maybe they should call it Bullywood? For all the girls that are bullied or for all the copious bull created, starring the biggest turd of them all – Salmon “fishy” Khan.
Bhagwad,
i hardly watch mainstream movies nowadays but you should catch Rehnaa hai tere Dil mein (Minnale in Tamil). This was and continues to be appreciated in some circles, including by some women as very romantic or at least they were okay with it, perhaps because of the lovely song Vaseegara/ Zaraa Zaraa. And there you have:
– the “hero” Madhavan pretends to be somebody else to win the heroines affections.
– in the wooing phase he gives her a cutesy doll of a girl sitting decorously on a banquet sofa thingy and says it represents her “strong and independent” nature. She smiles (non-ironically).
– other than such blunders he is not a harasser in the wooing phase.
– But maaan, does he throw a fit after being exposed as an impostor and she breaks up.
– Cue self-pitying tragedy song about how you cant believe….. girls (yup that’s right).
– he breaks a guy’s arm for warning the ladylove about his not being who he is.
– When the real-deal suitor turns up and turns out to be Saif Ali Khan with song and dance and another set of moves, she is confused.
– Things get even worse when Madhavan now goes into stalker mode and threatens her how he wouldnt let her hitch to Saif.
– he then travels to Saif’s place and trashes it, and the 2 men verbally duel over the heroine like she is a piece of meat.
– *Neither* appears to give her any agency or free will in this process.
– at some point brass knuckles are brandished and almost used (by Madhavan).
I felt very, very sorry for the girl by this stage of the proceedings. I would have walked out on both. If it was not an option, Saif appeared to be marginally the better bet, but you know her heart had been given to Madhavan and the damn movie ended with Saif “handing her over” to Madhavan after a speech.
Ughhh.
thanks
Jai
In reply to Jai_C
Ouch. I think screen play writers think that women must want to be treated like this! Otherwise why would they come up with this trash?
In reply to bhagwad
Somehow this reminds me of “Yeh Dillagi” – a rare Bollywood triangle where the heroine actually chooses her own partner, and threatens to walk away when the brothers start fighting over her.
It feels closer to life since she picks the guy who noticed her in her pre-celebrity days, and treated her with respect.
In reply to transmogrifier
I wonder why more movies don’t portray their heroes and heroines in better ways like this.
I think Bollywood is all about stalking girls. Be it in reel life or real life. And in a way, the fate of crores of rupees invested in movies depends on how well can an actor stalk an actress.
I had a lot of expectations from Rockstar. But, only a few were met, as only the music and songs lived up to the hyper.
PS-Last stage show by Jordan was pretty intense and impressive.
Since our society discourages all interactions between young people, fearing too much freedom leading to love marriages, disobedient daughters in law and unemployed sons in law. So men and women do have confused ideas about relationships.
A lot of men also feel that if a woman could say ‘yes’ them, then she would have probably said yes to anybody – and that makes her not virtuous enough. She must refuse enough and ask them to take her parents’ permission.
Bollywood and K serials do their best to make harassment, abuse, sacrifice, pity, exploitation, dependance etc look like great reasons for being in a relationship.
What the Bollywood does right is, it says it’s okay for men and women to choose their partners, and that caste, community, religion should not be a criteria.
In reply to indianhomemaker
You might have hit on something there. A woman can’t be shown to be too “easy.” As if when she likes one guy she can automatically fall for every other male on the planet…
I don’t know if that’s the reason, but it sounds about right.
Be it this latest flick or bollywood flicks from newly independent India times same formula has worked and few like us have protested to no avail. These street Romeos exhibit all signs of abusers.
http://girlsguidetosurvival.wordpress.com/2010/08/07/signs-of-an-abuser/
As @IHM said the only Bollywood does right is, it says it’s okay for men and women to choose their partners, and that caste, community, religion should not be a criteria.
But that too comes and rests on male desire, a pauper, with no education and no prospects dreams of spending his life with the most eligible woman on the block. Dhobi Ghat disappointed DG on this one point.
Then there is another gener of Bollywood flicks where the stalker/hero has to not only evoke lady’s dormant feelings for him but also has to chastisize and desanitize her western ways to make her ideal desi woman.
In sum total bollywood is agent of socialization in masculinities and thrives on burden of dominant masculinities.
Peace,
Desi Girl
In reply to girlsguidetosurvival
True. But I have hope that things will change as new filmmakers come along with better sensitivities and audiences become more mature.
What gives you hope? Is the mafia funding from the male-chauvinist Middle East drying up?
In reply to ANon
Producers, directors and writers make movies that people like. And people are beginning to improve. Believe it or not, the purpose of bollywood films is to make money – not to propagate an ideology.
From http://harmanjit.blogspot.com/2006/04/on-sexual-advances_17.html
“Hardly any man can take a woman’s rejection stoically. And when it is known to the man that he would be rejected, what is to stop him from being vile about his advances, so that he can at least annoy, harass and tease the woman with whom he anyway stands no chances?”
In reply to harman
This would happen if men looked at women as mere objects with no purpose of their own.
Needless to say, this isn’t true. Being with some guys is not the sole purpose of a woman’s existence. Just like men, they are human beings existing for themselves alone and not to belong to someone else.
If men view women as objects, that’s their problem. And the law needs to punish men who criminally stalk a woman regardless of the reasons. Most men don’t indulge in such behavior so it’s hardly a law of nature.
Dev D was a movie I loved – it shows the other side of Devdaas. In Dhobi Ghat too the woman does not fall back in love with a dhobi who she got along with and was maybe curious about.