I consider myself a staunch supporter of women’s rights. While there are many oppressed groups in India, women are the most visible as well as the most numerous being around half the population. So any victory for them is a victory for others as well. The more barriers that break down in one area, the easier it becomes to overthrow others after all.
Which is why it’s so surprising that I find myself on opposing sides of women’s issues with many who are themselves feminists. I mean we all want the same thing right? I did a bit of thinking and I’ve come to realize that feminists come in two flavors. “Equality” feminists and “Victim” feminists.
Equality Feminists
Equality feminists view themselves as equal to men in every significant way. They believe that a woman should have the same rights and responsibilities as men do.
Victim Feminists
Victim feminists on the other hand view women as victims. As opposed to equality feminists, they want special treatment for women based on their “victim” status. While equality feminists want laws to treat men and women equally, victim feminists want laws to acknowledge that women are victims and treat them in special ways.
I don’t consider myself a feminist at all for the simple reason that I fight for all human rights. But if at all I was one, I would fall into the former category – an equality feminist.
It’s easy to see how the two types of feminists would argue with each other on a variety of issues. Here’s how they stand on some:
Breaking Promises of Marriage
Equality feminists believe that a woman’s virginity is meaningless. If a man has sex with a woman by promising to marry her and later reneges on that promise, it’s no big deal. Nothing of value has been lost in any case. The prize of virginity is a false notion that reduces women to sex objects. It also assumes that women never have sex for pleasure and only “submit to it” because they want to get married.
Victim feminists hold that women need to be protected from predatory men who lure them into having sex by promising marriage. That a broken promise of marriage leads to the woman’s life being “ruined”. That the sole aim of a woman’s life is to get married in the first place and that if people don’t want to marry her anymore, then her entire raison d’etre is gone. They further believe that women don’t enjoy sex.
Property Division and Alimony
Equality feminists want a fair share of the marital property in a divorce. Neither more, nor less. If property was acquired during the marriage, then it should be shared if the couple splits. As far as alimony goes, they want the woman to receive enough support so that she can get a new job and then alimony should stop. They see no need for a woman to be forever supported by a man if she’s healthy to work.
Victim feminists believe that a divorced woman’s life is ruined and deserves to be supported. I’ve written about how proposed divorce laws in India aim to provide the woman with a fixed 50% share even in the husband’s inherited property! This is a pure “victim” mentality assuming that women need extra help that men can do without.
Clarification: I’m not confusing alimony and property division with child support. That’s a completely different issue altogether.
Forced Fatherhood
Equality feminists believe that both a man and a woman are equally responsible for creating a baby. That both mother and father have equal rights over the baby. A woman’s body belongs to her and she is free to either abort or give the baby up for adoption once it’s born. But the man has no choice over his fatherhood. The law says that a man has to support a child even if he never wanted it in the first place. Equality feminists believe that if a man doesn’t want to shoulder the responsibilities of a father and the woman still goes ahead and chooses to have the baby and keep it afterwards, then the man should be able to distance himself of all financial responsibilities. By choosing to have the baby against the father’s wishes, the woman makes it clear that she’s doing this for herself for whatever reasons of her own. And she should own up to that responsibility and not drag the man into the picture.
Victim feminists on the other hand believe that it’s a man’s fault for “not keeping it in his pants”. That a baby is “brought upon” the woman by the man. They don’t view a child as equally created by the parents. It’s the man’s “fault” and that if a woman chooses to have a baby, the man should have no choice but to pay child support for the next 20 years. They don’t acknowledge that a woman has as much (if not more) of a say in whether or not the baby should be born.
The New York Times had an interesting article the other day about this: http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/06/12/is-forced-fatherhood-fair/
Gender selective abortion
Probably the most divisive issue. Equality feminists believe that a woman has the right to abort a fetus regardless of the cause. Whether she’s feeling bored, lost a bet, or simply decided that she’s not interested in being a mother anymore is none of the government’s business. So while they don’t agree with it, they support a woman’s right to abort if she doesn’t want a girl/boy. Gender selective abortion is pretty abhorrent, but it’s her body, and her right to choose.
But victim feminists think that a woman is always forced to abort by her relatives or husband’s family. That no woman would willingly choose to abort a female fetus. They assume this a priori and deny a woman the power to say “no”. So they support broad sweeping laws applying to all women – even to those women who genuinely prefer a girl or boy over the alternative.
There are many other issues where equality feminists and victim feminists fall on different sides of the fence and this is why they argue. They’re in opposition about the most fundamental state of a woman in the world. Is she an equal? Or is she a victim?
Which type of feminist are you?
Men and women are different but they are equal
Someone whose name eludes me right now said “Feminism is the radical concept that women are people”. Nothing more . Nothing less.
It is true that a lot of women are victims primarily because they are women. We cannot take away the fact that they were victims or that they will need extra help – just like any other victim, man or woman – to recover. But we cannot go ahead and declare a blanket victim status on all women.
In reply to Clueless
That’s the title in the image I used for the post :). What a coincidence!
Very well characterized. I would go one step further and say that the so called victim feminists either do not get the fact of equality or confused about what they really want. Broadly, there can be only one type of feminist which is the equality type. I ‘ve been calling myself an ” equalist” – who wants equal rights and responsibilities for both men and women and would like to liberate both sexes from the clutches of patriarchy.
In reply to BB
It’s possible that many women might be afraid of true equality. Because with that comes the responsibility for living your own life, finding your own income source, and being independent. It’s not for nothing that Erich Fromm’s psychology masterpiece was called “Escape from Freedom”.
In reply to bhagwad
Totally agree. I know many women who want equality and want to be taken care of. This is not all women, but there is a sizeable number that has been programmed into thinking this way. Sometimes, I feel that men are equally ( but differently) affected by this patriarchal thinking and need to fight for their rights as well!
Bhagwad, do you have any demographic data to support what kind of feminists belong to which class? I’m guessing the “victims” belong to the lower/lower-middle class feminists group. Don’t you think the upbringing of a woman has anything to do with it? I’d expect a woman belonging to an educated and/and upper class to belong to the “equality” group. That’s not so hard to believe, is it?
In reply to Sonal
I don’t want to pass judgments about which kind of feminists belong to where. I agree with you that upbringing has a lot to do with the kind of world view a person grows up with. Does that mean all world views are equally valid? I don’t think so. I do think that some are better than others.
It’s when men need to assert their superiority through verbal and physical assault, a woman has no choice but to fight back. Certain men never shy of telling women what to wear, how to “conduct” themselves and are always ready to teach her a “lesson”. When it becomes a power struggle, it becomes imperative that women fight for their rights and men take up responsibility for their actions.
Interesting to note that not many women have commented on your post.
In reply to purbaray
They’re all women! A couple of men have commented in the Google+ widget though…
I think everyone will agree that women should fight for their rights. Men should fight for women’s rights too. What are your thoughts on some of the issues I pointed out. Which side of the fence do you fall on?
I just had an argument on FB about abortion rights yesterday. This silly woman kept linking to the SRK scandal where he seems to have gone in for sex determination. “He wanted a boy! He wanted a boy!”, she kept screaming. I read all the links she provided but there was no mention of anything other than they had done a sex determination test. I pointed out that his actions were legally wrong, but not ethically wrong, because the law is an ass in this case. Her reply: “Why else would he want to do a sex determination otherwise?” o_O I think there are feminists and there are stupid people.
In reply to Fem
I can imagine doing a sex determination test out of curiosity…
In reply to bhagwad
Or for planning! What to name the child.. what kind of clothes to buy.. what color to paint the room.. Not essential, but definitely nice to know!
I think I am an equality feminist in all matters you mentioned except the issue of sex-selective abortions, and NOT because I think all women who go for it are forced to do so or that no woman would want to abort a female fetus willingly– I know only too well that if anything, women in India want sons even more desperately than men do. The idea that women don’t want to abort female fetuses is bullshit.
The reason I oppose sex-selective abortions is simply that in an atmosphere of overwhelming preference for one gender, it can spell doom for the society. It is necessary for sex-ratio to be maintained at a healthy level for obvious reasons. It is okay to not want to have a girl-child–you can choose not to have a baby at all in that case–but it cannot be okay to want to have only a boy-child. Women owe that much to themselves, to other women and to the society they are a part of.
I can see why you would think I am less of an equality feminist (I don’t mind at all!) on account of my views on SSA but I don’t see how they make me a victim feminist. Clearly there are more than two categories of feminism :-)
In reply to scribblehappy
The problem is that the sex selection law is not doing anything to change the social problem you are talking about. The male-female ratios still have an alarming disparity and they will continue to do so because even reputed doctors can often be persuaded to tell the gender of the child. As for the corrupt ones, there are many of them.
This problem cannot be solved by forcing people to have girls, or even telling them why it is good to have girls. This problem can only be solved by gradually teaching (perhaps in schools?) of women and their rights in EVERY sphere of life. The more a good quality of life for women is ensured, fewer people will choose to abort girls just because they are girls.
I find it frightening that the government is trying to control women’s reproductive rights and not lifting a finger to educate people on women’s rights.
In reply to scribblehappy
I agree that the sex selective abortions issue is the most contentious. I think it all comes down to whether or not you a feel a woman has an unlimited right over their body, or does the state have the right to treat a woman’s body as a uterus for its own social agenda.
Victim feminists are not feminists. They are what patriarchy thrives on.
I would like to think I am a Equality Feminist. Men and women should have equal rights in every sphere of life. But well, there are some gray areas, like reserved seats in a bus, or ladies’ compartment in a train, or lower admission fee in some educational courses ….I have to admit that I’ve taken advantage of these things.
The issue of sex-selective abortion is very sensitive…. logically your view is correct, that if a woman is free, she should have the right to choose her child’s gender. But I don’t feel like supporting it. Maybe that’s because I’m a woman myself, and have never heard of a girlchild abortion done by the mother willingly, without any external pressure.
In reply to Tanny
I’ll be the first to admit there are gray areas. Reserved seats in buses and trains is one example. Still, the basic “feeling” of treating all genders equally is what differentiates an equality feminist from a victim one. I’m sure there’s a continuum where we all fall.
I think where I draw the line is when it comes to life changing benefits. No one really loses anything by having reserved seats in trains. Lower admission fees is a little more inconvenient, but not life changing. But when it comes to things like 50% of ancestral property or forcing a couple into marriage or making a man pay child support for 20 years for a kid he never wanted, that is where I find my limit.
Equality feminists in all good conscience cannot take advantage of any man like that and they abhor laws that allow them to do so.
Mr. Bhagwad.
Welcome to reality. IPC 498A dowry law 98% fake cases against innocent men. Kitab chap chuke hai Just married have you applied for bail. Video footages in courts of law have been shown that men are also victims of domestic violence. Suicide rate in married couple men higher than woman. Husband is not an ATM card. When man takes money from woman its dahej. ( which I agree is wrong ) He can be arrested and thanks to IPC 498A he can be arrested without taking dahej as well. He and his whole family. Woman take away custody of children alimony now half property making a man a confirmed bali ka bakra. House wifes I admit are entitled to alimony but should the man be paying through his nose for a divorce ? To men jumping up and down for womans rights ek sher arz hai. Apne ghar main jalane to diya tak nahee doosre ke ghar main chiraag roshan karna chale. If woman protection is important why cant we issue laws which protect daughter ( and son ) from disinheritance from parental property.