Waiters are understandably upset about why I don’t tip and have given many illogical reasons in support of this ridiculous practice. Here’s a rebuttal of the most common ones.
Bullshit 1: We only Pay for the Food. Service is Extra
The menu price doesn’t include just the cost of preparing the food and paying the chef. It includes the restaurant setting, the tables, the cutlery, the effort and investment that the restaurant owner has put into the dining area. Now guess what? Since I’m paying for it, the restaurant has to give it to me. And how do they accomplish this?
Waiters. Ding ding!
See without waiters, the restaurant has no way of delivering the dining experience to me that I’m paying for. I’m paying for sitting down in a nice place. I’m paying for the air conditioning. I’m paying for the nice tablecloth and for my food to be delivered to me in a reasonable time. The menu price covers all this. Waiters are just the restaurant’s way of bringing me my food. Of fulfilling their part of the contractual obligation.
Bottom line. Servers are not independent contractors. They’re not an “extra” that you have to pay for. By hook or crook, the restaurant needs to deliver the product. Whether they use waiters or conveyor belts (a term that many seem to object to), is not my business. I don’t care. The waiters can just melt into the background and let me enjoy my food in peace. If the menu includes free refills or whatever, then waiters are required to deliver that as well. Why? Because…wait for it….I paid for it!
Bullshit 2: It’s the custom. It’s ‘merica!
Yeah right. You do realize that not all customs are created equal don’t you? Slavery was a “custom” back in the day and so was race and sexual discrimination. Anyone with an ounce of integrity does what they feel is right. There are many harmless customs in the world like bowing instead of shaking hands, or using chopsticks instead of forks etc that are morally neutral. It really makes no difference if you follow them or not.
But tipping? Hell no! It’s not morally neutral. If you get better service because you’re a good tipper, then you’re essentially paying a bribe to servers to get them to do their job properly next time. All customs have a limit. And tipping is such a convenient custom isn’t it? Hell, I wish I had a custom in place for people to just throw money at me.
And just in case someone feels I don’t appreciate the US, there are many great things about this country that I love and I’ve blogged about repeatedly. Freedom of expression, the way Americans show respect to their armed forces, the politeness of people as you walk by on the road, the work culture, the individuality.
I just don’t like tipping. It’s not as if a person has to blindly accept everything in a country without judgment. There are good things. And there are bad things. Just like everywhere else.
Bullshit 3: The cost of food will increase dramatically
Someone needs to do basic math. Increasing the price of food to pay minimum wage to waiters will not double the price of food. Some have even gone so far to claim that it’ll increase 4-5 times. Ridiculous. Totally, utterly ridiculous. Let’s dissect this rubbish.
As an example, I’ll take Chili’s. A waitress at Chili’s was so kind as to comment saying that the price of food at her restaurant will increase by 3 times – $30 for a $10 burger. Using the statistics she herself gave in her comment, there are 12 waiters (at full capacity) who need to be paid minimum wage. That’s $5 extra per hour per waiter making it a net total of $60 per hour that has to be added to the price of food on a full day.
$60/hr? For 12 waiters. That’s it! It’s peanuts. If you assume even that each waiter is serving just four tables. That’s $5 an hour extra they have to make from four tables. Even if we say that each table sits for a massive two hours, the extra paid per table is way less than $5. On the total bill. Worst, worst case scenario.
You know what? Customers won’t even notice. So stop the garbage about the prices of food going up several times to pay minimum wage. It’s utter nonsense. The only reason waiters don’t want this system in place is because they earn a hell of a lot more than than minimum wage using our tips. And they come across as the victims.
Waiters are Struggling Mothers/Students
Look, it’s not as if I don’t have sympathy for those who struggle in life. I just don’t think it’s my problem. And I specially don’t like it being impinged upon me. Generosity is one thing. Having money demanded from you is something totally else. Any tip I give is out of the generosity of my heart and I expect some gratitude for helping those in need. It’s not something I have to do since…refer to Myth 1.
Bottom line: Socially mandated tipping is a scam. I can’t believe how intelligent people have been hoodwinked into it. Probably because they like to come across as “nice” people and feel sorry for servers who hover around looking expectantly. Well, I find that irritating and I won’t buy into it.
shove this article up your ass, enough said.
In reply to ruben the waiter
Enough said because you’re too dumb to think of much of anything else. When you can’t do much else but ask “would you like fries with that?’ we don’t expect much out of you…..
You say that servers are not independent contractors. That’s not exactly true. Yes, they get paid a wage from the restaurant. But at most restaurants, a server “rents” the tables from the establishment. Meaning that a server is expected to pay out a portion of the total food sales to the non-direct tipped employees, like bussers and hosts. This may be a fundamental flaw in the restaurant industry in this country in general. But the establishment assumes a 15% tip, and servers are expected to tip out on that. So, if you give a server less than 15%, the Server is actually PAYING FOR YOU to eat there. As for the government and taxes, they assume that servers receive all of their credit card tips plus 10% of their cash sales. (This is later adjusted to account for the non-direct tips paid out from the server to the support staff). So, there really isn’t much to any ill-reporting possible in an ever evolving cashless society.
In reply to Angela
Not all restaurants pay out. Also in california, everyone receives minimum wage.
What you are trying to do is make false analogies. Stick with the basics. What does the server’s W2’s say? The RESTAURANT as the employer, not I.
The establishment 100 years ago also allowed for slavery. DOes that make it right?
In reply to Common Sense
And your response to the inequity is to fuck the person being screwed? Reading from your comment, it seems your solution in an age of slavery would be to ignore an escaping slave and not feed him, because it is on the SLAVEOWNER to free and feed the slave.
In reply to Ani Jay
I don’t know what Common Sense’s solution is, but mine is to raise the wages of restaurant staff to be equal to what they now get in tips. Probably the best thing to do is to pay the staff a commission on what is served as that is the closest thing to the system we have now and would be the least disruptive change. Prices will have to rise to cover the commission and would reflect the actual price for the meal. Our current system is completely dishonest. The price listed is not the price you pay.
The guy that wrote this post is basically screwing over the wait staff and I don’t like it, but it doesn’t change the fact that he’s right about this being an immoral system of bribery. I don’t blame the wait staff, they’re forced into it. However, it’s wrong and needs to be changed.
In reply to Kirk
How can everyone call it bribery?? How do people know the waiter/ress are being nice just to get a tip? What about people who work jobs where there are no tips and they are still very friendly and nice to the customers/patients/what have you?? What’s everyone’s explanation for why they’re so nice? Can’t people just be friendly anymore? I’ve never been a waitress but I was a cosmetologist for a couple years and I was ALWAYS extremely nice to the clients, not for the tips, but because I’ve always just been a nice, friendly person. Now I’m a nurse, I do not receive tips and I’m even nicer to the patients because I LOVE my job and I love the people, even the miserable ones that try to make my life a living hell.
I don’t remember a server ever demanding a tip from me.
I think you have gotten quite a ways away from the original meaning of a tip. It is To Insure Prompt Service. Being a waiter myself I can say if you sit with me and don’t tip decently the first couple times tou sit with me. Well you will not receive prompt service from then on. Meaning yes I do have to get you refills but I will take care of my other tables before yours. You will receive your food bit I will rush you out. If I am tending bar and you don’t tip. Well I will serve everyone else before I serve you when you come in. Also your drink will be an exact pour or a short pour. I would never spit in someones food but I can insure you only get what you pay for.
In reply to Mike
So what you’re saying is, the tip is to ensure that I get served first, and get poured more than I paid for?
Sounds an awful lot like a bribe to me.
Oh yeah, if you get tipped more than 10% (and apparently you often do, from what I hear from many waiters here), then getting paid in under-the-table cash is a better system than otherwise.
In reply to tehy
I’m really sorry for you. I am a waiter. And I am a customer too. So let me explain to you and to all customers like you what is tip and why you are “expected” to tip… Tip is service. Service used to be included in the price that you see in the menu. You order your food you pay for it , you pay the tax for it and you go. Then the server cash his 15% commission no matter what.example: you buy a $10 burger , $8.5 will be for the restaurant $1.5 for the server. And then $0.6 tax. You get your bill showing $10.6 no matter how the service was. Just like nowadays in the car business. Restaurants owners wanted to offer better service, so the offered you as a customer the opportunity to judge the service you get by making the tip decision in your hands.
But, customers like you , by ignorance, start treating servers like if they add no value to the dining experience! Well, I wanna see you taking your date (if you manage to have one with your way of thinking) to a place like McDonald where you don’t have to tip. You come to my table not because you wanna eat. You need me to SERVE you. You need my knowledge about the food to help your pickyself find what you may like . The best wine to compliment your food. You wanna see me flambeing your sambuca and tell you the story of the 3beans in it…
Well, tip me or not. I ‘ll do my job. You pay me for it or no. I’ll still do it. Because (thank god) the flights are expensive enough from where you are from that we don’t get a lot of YOU
In reply to siraj
“The best wine to compliment your food.”
To turn this around, then… if I’m a wine snob and pick my own wine based on my own knowledge, then why pay you anything? Heck, maybe I should tell you why I picked that wine and then have you, the server, take it off my bill.
It’s a slippery slope if you want to claim that tips pay for knowledge, because (a) some customers are far more knowledgeable than the servers (and go to a place because they know the chef can do it right) and (b) often the dreamy descriptions the server gives are just carefully enunciated recitations of what’s already on the menu. Do you really know about the three beans? Really?
My experience with beer is that I know far more than 99% of servers. Short of having a pint from the local brewpub, few, if any, servers can actually offer me any information of value. And heck, if I want to take it to the extreme, I’ll pull up the beer reviews and make a choice that way. Boo hoo for you, but your knowledge has gone the way of travel agents. It’s too bad if you don’t like it, but there’s nothing any of us can do about it.
When I go out to eat and get served an IPA in a pilsner glass, or some other horribly common faux pas, I guess I should avoid tipping because of the disservice. Not only does it show that you lack knowledge and therefore don’t deserve a tip, but I could even argue that you owe me because of the lesser experience I will have as a result of drinking my beer from the wrong glass.
Some of the comments on this post are so racist. If this is the way some people deal with opinions that’s differ from their own they should be ashamed of themselves. Don’t criticise this post based on the country of origin of it’s author, criticise it if you disagree with it’s content. I thought America was supposed to be the land of multiculturalism and liberty, but this display of prejudice in the face on an opportunity for healthy debate is just saddening.
In reply to Immi
It’s not racist, it’s cultural. Indians are horrible people when it comes to money and especially tipping. And I say this being Indian-American. Etiquette is rare among Indian males, from tipping to gender roles.
I still don’t see the whole paying for the environment, cutlery, tablecloth thing. Makes absolutely no sense to me. You can go to a fast food type restaurant and sit down and eat, at a place like Panera, for example, and the meals are all generally the same as they would be as if you went to Chilis. If there is a difference it’s very slight, SO how can you claim that Chilis prices include waitress service, atmosphere, etc. for the same price that Panera does, excluding waiters? I don’t know
How you think you’re getting all those things for the average $9-$14 per plate. How do you explain take-out? No atmosphere there. I think people that feel so strongly should not go out to eat, like I said do take-out, because the waiters or waitresses shouldn’t have to be penalized for your thinking. Also, I don’t think your opinions should be stated so much like facts, like everyone besides you is wrong and foolish. You have a right to your opinion but not by the way in which you state it.
I have found these articles on tipping and the variety of replies interesting.
I have always been a bit puzzled about how the system in the US works.
I am Australian, and we do not have a tipping culture here. Our (over 20yrs) minimum wage for full time is over $16 per hour and for casual staff over $20/hr. Tipping only occurs if service is really something above and beyond.
When my husband and I go out for dinner, the service is usually very good or better. I cannot remember the last time we had bad service in a restaurant. Servers are paid well, and are happy with their jobs and do it well. We are not required to pay extra to ensure decent service.
There are a variety of price differences in our restaurants, so I can’t say whether we are paying hugely more or less for a meal than the US restaurants.
I guess I wondered how the US restaurants ended up with such a great deal, to get their customers to pay for their meals and drinks AND supplement the restaurants staffs wages! $2 or $3 per hour really seems like 3rd world country wages!
I did my time in restaurants as a server going through Uni and know how challenging the job can be. Not because of the actual job requirements… more from the less than nice customers.
Civil customers always got the ‘extra’ care and attention if I had time, while the less than civil customers got the usual good service, but I certainly didn’t go the extra mile for those ones. Tipping was not part of the lure to get me to do my job properly.
:)
Everyone here defending tipping is defending bribery and corruption. Tipping sidesteps the restaurant industry’s responsibility to pay living wages. Full stop.
In Hungary, people “tip” doctors. Is that something we should do in the United States?
In many South American countries people “tip” the police. Is that something we should do in the United States?
Why not if tipping is such a great thing?
I don’t think people should withhold tips from waiters under the current regime as that is indeed their wage.
However, that is a far cry from defending the system of tipping. Tipping should be illegal. Proper wages should be mandated by law. Defending this system of forced begging is immoral and people defending it should be ashamed of themselves.
At the same, tipping is currently the lesser of two evils. Yes, it basically props up a corrupt system, but the alternative is screwing over the wait staff. That can mean not making rent and eviction. The right thing to do is to lobby to get tipping outlawed and proper wages mandated. The wrong thing to do is come on sites like this and start defending an obviously immoral system.
In reply to Kirk
Nice post. Alternatively, following a more traditional capitalist approach, let’s have more people open up restaurants where tipping is discouraged. I’ve been to a few businesses (not restaurants) where tipping is actually discouraged and patrons are encouraged to report great service to management in lieu of tipping. I think this approach could really go a long way to improve the situation in restaurants: (1) All staff now get paid more and have much more security. (2) There is less competition from other staff. (3) Management gets to hear about great service and can use it for hiring and firing decisions. (4) Management can use feedback about great service when determining raises. (5) Staff buy into the business more, provide better service, and get greater job satisfaction (how could having a customer make your day and tell your boss how wonderful you are not be better than getting a few extra bucks one time?). (6) And the customer, despite paying more, feels better about paying to support such a great business.
No tips. No grumbling about tips from all the angry commenters here. A happier workforce. Better service to customers. Happier customers. How could this not be any better?
I never got when Indians cannot understand unspoken norms. All of Indian society is packed with it. Every single basic behavior includes it. It’s insane.
In reply to Ani Jay
Note how you’re the only one bringing race into the equation. The reasons I’ve given for not tipping have nothing to do with race. Keep in mind that many people agree with me – from Americans, to Europeans. The fact that you’re bringing race into the equation when there’s no reason to do so speaks volumes about your mentality.
If you say you’re Indian-American, then that explains a lot. Indians are one of the biggest racists themselves.
If you want to be taken seriously, argue a point on its merits. Not with ad hominems.
In reply to bhagwad
He’s just the only one still talking about it. The fact of the matter is; people with a few years of serving experience know this to be true.
Cultural norms absolutely affect how large groups of people GENERALLY act in a restaurant. If you want an honest opinion of that, just ask a few servers and don’t plug your ears when it disagrees with your view of your cultural background.
I served for about 2 years some time ago and in my experience over that period your average stereotypes applied, as follows:
Indian tables generally tip very poorly – 5-8% over all.
East Asian tables tip exactly 10% in the extreme majority of cases.
High school students NEVER tip.
Old people tip poorly (But that’s kind of expected on a fixed income).
European men tip attractive women very well and men poorly.
A table of black men tip poorly, but if women are at the table they tip just fine.
These are but a few stereotypes that I found to be true while working in a town with 2 universities, a college and a booming tech industry (lots of young professionals 25-35). While you may be inclined to think this is racist it really misunderstands the term. If your income is directly attached to the people who sit at your tables you will notice very quickly what certain groups normally do.
If your pay cheque varied based upon an unknown factor at whatever job you do – I would bet strongly that you would start to pay attention to the factors which seemed to increase it every week. That’s exactly what’s happening here.
Lastly, yes obviously there are people who agree with you from every race and culture. There are plenty of bad tippers and people who genuinely would prefer not to tip and pay higher food bills. This is absolutely true. But, those people aren’t arguing the same thing you are – generally. They’re arguing that tipping as a PRACTICE is wrong to promote, but to not tip is to punish the wrong people.
In reply to Shawn
I think I’ve openly mentioned that I would willingly pay higher food prices. This is not a secret or a big revelation.
My point to the OP was simply that his argument on race was illogical and meaningless.
In reply to bhagwad
You have mentioned that you would happily pay more for food. Your definitely included in that bit.
But you haven’t shown that his argument about race (even though it’s not REALLY race, it’s culture) is illogical or meaningless. In fact, I pointed out that his point that culture does indeed have merit when applied to my 2 years of serving experience.
My experience could be region specific, but off-hand comments to other people who have been servers in other places would suggest otherwise.
In reply to Shawn
I don’t have to show that his comment is illogical or meaningless since his comment had nothing to do with my reasons for not tipping.
My specific reasons for not tipping are neither rooted in race, nor culture. If he disagrees with my points, he is most welcome to show why my reasons are illogical.
He can claim that he knows the “real” reason why I don’t tip (race) or whatever, but that’s just him pretending to know what’s going on inside my head better than I do. Ergo, *facepalm* right?
In reply to bhagwad
Well, not entirely. Claiming that your cultural upbringing has shaped your beliefs is hardly a major claim. Yes, you have reasoned opinions on why you shouldn’t tip but you didn’t wake up one day and just have them. You spent many years developing those opinions through experiences and role models.
I could think of many very logical reasons why buying a bag of chips and walking down the street eating is a smart/logical choice in my busy life. However, place me in Japan during my formative years and I’d likely be able to provide many logical reasons why you should absolutely not do that while having a busy life.
Life, culture and background all matter. It’s not exactly insignificant that the majority of the people from your culture hold similar opinions on tipping/how much to tip. It demonstrates a trend – one that may have had more of an influence than you realize.
I mean, how does your family tip/interact in restaurants? There friends? Your friends?
If it’s all relatively the same then maybe it’s less ‘he’s trying to proscribe something to me’ and more that he’s noticed a significant influence that you’re not acknowledging (consciously or otherwise)
In reply to Shawn
It also adds nothing to the argument. It’s a truism right? Just saying…”culture man!” I mean how is that helpful? Does it refute what I’m saying? No. Does it affirm what I’m saying? No.
So from a logical standpoint, he might as well be saying that the sun rises in the East. Yeah, it does. So?
Someone who doesn’t refute or affirm what is being talked about is just wasting space on my blog.
I have been a server/bartender for going on 15 years. I like the job. I enjoy the interaction with my guests. See I see everyone that comes into the restaurant I am currently working at as a guest in my home. I chose this job, because of the interaction and Tips. I prefer my payment to come from the couple sitting in front of me. It is a quick and immediate way to know whether you did a good job or not.
The attitude of not tipping is no skin off my nose. If you choose not to tip, then you really should no be out in public. The vehemence and anger expressed in this blog is surprising and sad. I see at least on of these people a day. They come in and are so angry and dismissive, I’m left wondering if they actually know what happiness is. It is my pleasure to serve, and because of that joy I get a bonus. Like CEO’s, and workers in various other industries. I just so happen to get my bonus on a daily basis. If I do a good job, it is more likely that I will get a bit extra.
I spent many years in the south waiting tables. Where wages are stagnant at $2.13 an hour just enough to cover Taxes. Without the tips, there is no paying for anything. Regardless of your feelings on the issue in the South, you are not paying for the service in the price of the food. the service is paid for with a tip. It is your decision what type of tip and service you will receive. Due to the nature of the system, you can still get out with extra assistance, extra care, and extra knowledge, but still screw the server. It is not uncommon, but that server will shake if off and continue to provide service at the best of their ability. I don’t usually talk about this issue, but in a day we are asked to “serve” a lot of people in a day. To the point of stretching the bounds of what is feasible, all with a smile on our face and an attempt to make everyone feel special. We are asked to do what is impossible in any other field. I can never put my head down and just slam through some problem in a hurry. I have to be aware of everything around me. If I am blessed and able to do that, I don’t think it is asking to much to slip me an extra dollar or two. I know if I turn into a monster in the hopes of getting my job done. you guys will be the first to call for my expulsion from this line of work.
the charity imbued in the tradition of tipping, tends to come back to people in odd ways.
I won’t every tell anyone what or how to tip, but just understand when you walk in. I don’t know you, I’m here to help, and to do that a hundred times a day, day in and day out, is not easy. a bit of kindness isn’t a bad tip.
In reply to Jesse
“the charity imbued in the tradition of tipping…”
Well, you just made the case for abolishing tipping. People that work should not have to rely on charity to get by. They should be paid a proper wage. It’s a very perverse world in which one thinks it’s a great system to beg for one’s wages.
In reply to Kirk
But don’t overlook the last sentence: “a bit of kindness isn’t a bad tip.”
I Googled “define charity” and got, as the first definition, “the voluntary giving of help, typically in the form of money, to those in need.”
Typically, but not always, in the form of money… being a nice person, getting to know your server, lending a sympathetic ear, and empathizing with another human being may be a far more valuable and meaningful tip than a couple bucks added to the check.
I found this post and the later one that pointed back at it after I saw the coverage of the $0.20 tip left by LeSean McCoy and then Googled “I don’t tip.” I absolutely hate, from the core of my philosophy, the idea that a tip is expected. In some cases, I don’t want to leave a tip due to bad service, so I don’t. The comment above really got to me because it was the first one from someone with serving experience that, instead of saying “gimme, gimme, gimme, or you’re just a &%*&%*&%ing &%&*&%*&ING &*%&%*&%*&!!!,” gave a very honest assessment. Would I give Jesse a tip? I bet I would. Jesse seems nice and authentic, and I bet I would make a human connection during my meal and feel like tipping. And I bet that if there was that connection, but I didn’t feel like (or wasn’t able) to tip a lot, Jesse would be okay with it.
Were it not for that last sentence, I’d be with you… charity? No thanks. I’ll pay for my food and my seat, and save my charity money for an actual charity. (Just as a dollar given to the homeless shelter will do a lot more than a dollar given to the panhandler on the corner.)