5 reasons why I won’t tip you if you’re a waiter

It never fails to shock me how a tip is demanded in the US. People simply refuse to listen to reason when we (yes, there are others!) tell them that leaving a tip isn’t necessary. Well, I’m hoping for too much here, but if you’re a waiter, here are 5 reasons why I will try my best not to give any money to you and why the reasons for tipping are crappy.

1. You act as if you’re my best friend

Just leave me alone ok? I don’t want to bloody chit chat with you. I want food. FOOD! Get it? It’s a restaurant. I go there to eat. I go because I want either Italian food, Chinese Food or something else which I can’t get in a McDonald’s. So I come to a restaurant to fulfill my cravings for it. I will pay for what I value – food. Not you.

Christ, you offend me – kneeling down next to my table, pretending to like me and chatting as if you’re my best friend when it’s obvious that all you’re after is the tip! I’m not a bloody money bag you know. I will pay the bill which includes the cost of the food, the environment and the salaries of the people involved – nothing more.

The only way to get money out of me that I don’t have to legally pay is by prying it out of my cold dead hands…

Bottom line: I don’t want to know your name, or interact with you for any longer than I have to in order to place my order. As far as I’m concerned, you’re the equivalent of a conveyor belt that brings me my food and a computer into which I input my order. Of course, I won’t be rude. But don’t expect me to interact with you any more than I would with some stranger.

Image Credit: cafemama

 

Did you earn this tip?

 

2. You don’t get paid enough

And this is my problem how exactly? It’s astonishing that customers are expected to make up for your employer’s cheapness in not paying you a decent wage. Please include the full cost in everyone’s bill thank you very much. I’ll pay it because I have to and the charge is there for me to see.

What’s really funny here is that no one seems to criticize the employers! All criticism is reserved for non tipping customers instead of the owners of the restaurant for not paying a decent wage. Wtf! Could it possibly be because you guys know you can make much more by tips and under report your income to the IRS?

3. You’ll spit in my food if I don’t tip you?

And I’ll shoot your kid if you don’t give me a million dollars. Seriously, am I even hearing this right? You’re actually using the threat of blackmail to make me pay you? Well as long as you’re openly claiming to be a criminal it’s all right I guess.

Fortunately that’s why I prefer buffets. Listen apart from it being illegal, this shows your poor integrity. But if you spit in someone’s food because they didn’t give you money you didn’t earn, then you’re a loser and deserve to be a waiter for the rest of your life.

4. Bringing me my food isn’t worthy of being paid extra

Did you cook it? Did you invent it? No. You picked it up and brought it to me. While it might not be easy, there are plenty of jobs which are much worse – shop floor workers for example. And I’ve been a shop floor manager, so I know. Face it – compared to other jobs, being a waiter is unskilled. You get paid what the market will think your services are worth. You don’t deserve more for your work over and above what your employer should pay you.

5. Money doesn’t grow on trees

I expect you to be grateful and pray for me at night if I tip you 10%. Be happy I gave you anything at all. I worked for the money in my wallet and by giving you some I didn’t have to, I’m doing you a favor. Learn to remember that when people give you something they don’t need to, it’s a favor. You don’t complain that they didn’t give you more!

By the way, the same thing above applies to all professions that demand tips including those on cruise liners.

So now that you understand why I won’t give you money you don’t deserve, stop with the “oh how could you?” attitude. I can. And I will.

Update: Here’s a rebuttal of the many silly justifications for tipping that people have given in the comments section.

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Comments

  1. Anyways before bill gets in here and ruins this conversation with vulgar insults and unnecessary comments about my apparent mental capacity I just want to say I appreciate your considerate and thought out responses what a joke!

    Reply

    • What a joke says:

      In reply to Emily

      Thanks, I tend to prefer debate to outright argument. People are (usually) more likely to acknowledge what you say if you try to state things in a more articulate manner.

      Reply

  2. MzHouze1 says:

    Actually it’s not about getting around laws. it’s about how the laws are structured to work. Minimum wage is based upon hourly average veraus yhe number of hours worked; therefore, if you work 5 days, averaging 35 to 40 hours a week, and you’d had three bad days at work where you did not make minimum wage per hour but two great days at work where you may have made two or three times that then you will not be compensated for those 3 days. If one is to quote laws, then they need to atudy the addendums and finer points that accompany them as well. In addition to that, you’re right you can’t be required to tip out other employees; however that optional tip that you decide not to give your bartender or your busboy might be the difference between fast, good drinks or waiting a half hour for a daiquiri (which they can easily a tribute to some other mistake if reprimanded) or you’re busboy completely ignoring your section all night. Also for those who believe that people who are servers are unskilled or unintelligent, I have two bachelor’s degrees and I’m currently working on a master’s degree in Psychology. I serve because it allows me to have flexibility of schedule to work, go to school, and make an adequate income to take care of my three children with my spouse while also still having time to interact and spend time with them. It does take a special type of person to deal with such people as yourself who have had so much fun demeaning and criticizing all the servers who thought to stand up for themselves this on this post; one should be awarded a Nobel Peace Prize for the sheer amount of patience it takes to keep from physically assaulting people such as yourself. However, I don’t feel like you understand how the real world or the United States restaurant industry works but that’s okay for every a****** like you feel, there are two more people who appreciate the excellent service I provide, the time that I take to make their special occasions even more unique and memorable, so it makes up the difference. You guys have a great day.

    Reply

    • What a joke says:

      In reply to MzHouze1

      **”Actually it’s not about getting around laws. it’s about how the laws are structured to work. Minimum wage is based upon hourly average veraus yhe number of hours worked; therefore, if you work 5 days, averaging 35 to 40 hours a week, and you’d had three bad days at work where you did not make minimum wage per hour but two great days at work where you may have made two or three times that then you will not be compensated for those 3 days.”**

      What the fuck are you on about? The point is that you, by law, make at least minimum wage. How much you actually make in a single day doesn’t matter unless you’re doing day labor. Like most people, you get paid a wage on a weekly or bi-weekly basis. If the amount of your check for that pay period combined with the tips taken home for that period, divided by the number of hours worked equals minimum wage before taking out taxes and for any benefits, then you have nothing to bitch about. If it’s less, it’s your job to call out your employer for it and report them or sue. It’s not the customer’s problem, nor their responsibility to make sure you do.

      **#If one is to quote laws, then they need to atudy the addendums and finer points that accompany them as well.”**

      The “addendums and finer points” you speak of are inconsequential, as I pointed out.

      **”In addition to that, you’re right you can’t be required to tip out other employees; however that optional tip that you decide not to give your bartender or your busboy might be the difference between fast, good drinks or waiting a half hour for a daiquiri (which they can easily a tribute to some other mistake if reprimanded) or you’re busboy completely ignoring your section all night.”**

      And how the hell long do you imagine they will keep the job they are refusing to do if the behavior continues? Reprimanded and using an excuse one time is one thing, but how many reprimands do you think they will be given before being fired, regardless of excuse?

      **”Also for those who believe that people who are servers are unskilled or unintelligent, I have two bachelor’s degrees and I’m currently working on a master’s degree in Psychology. I serve because it allows me to have flexibility of schedule to work, go to school, and make an adequate income to take care of my three children with my spouse while also still having time to interact and spend time with them.”**

      And yet your degrees have nothing to do with your job, nor do they, apparently, provide you with the definition for “unskilled labor,” which is work that requires no formal education and limited training. As in, waiting tables.

      Also, seeing as serving is, at its core, a minimum wage job, I’d say it’s not a very good life choice to try to depend on tips. Especially given the pressure from both sides (politically) to abolish tipping for various reasons.

      **” It does take a special type of person to deal with such people as yourself who have had so much fun demeaning and criticizing all the servers who thought to stand up for themselves this on this post; one should be awarded a Nobel Peace Prize for the sheer amount of patience it takes to keep from physically assaulting people such as yourself.”**

      Personally, I’m only pointing out facts. If pointing out their faults and choices in life demeans them, that’s their own fault.

      The problem is it isn’t the customers they should be standing up to. We didn’t choose the job for them. We didn’t sign the employment contract saying they’d work for scraps for them. We are in no way obligated to pay them money for a job they are already being paid to do – regardless of how low that wage is.

      If servers are going to stand up to anybody (instead of accepting blame for their own choice in job), it should be their employer for offering such shitty low pay, or for breaking wage laws. It should be their senators and representatives who make the laws in the first place. It sure as hell isn’t the customers who, without which, you would have no job in the first place.

      **”However, I don’t feel like you understand how the real world or the United States restaurant industry works but that’s okay for every a****** like you feel, there are two more people who appreciate the excellent service I provide, the time that I take to make their special occasions even more unique and memorable, so it makes up the difference. You guys have a great day.”**

      I feel you don’t understand reality or your own rights. You are admitting your job is your own choice, yet still making excuses about why you just suffer through the law breaking and mistreatment by your employer, while at the same time implying that it is the customer’s responsibility to deal with it or make up for it.

      At the same time you are talking about how the American restaurant industry works, yet describing your service as excellent. I will tell you right now I have eaten in restaurants all over the world, from dives to tie and jacket required, and I will tell you even the crappiest restaurants in Europe and Asia, where no tip is expected, provide better service than even the nicest restaurants in America. And they would never even consider acting violent or rude to any customer for any reason.

      Reply

    • In reply to MzHouze1

      You are seriously as dumb as a box of rocks. Take the money you made in any given week, and divide that by the amount of hours you worked. That will give you your hourly wage. If it is minimum-wage or above you sure as hell don’t deserve any extra money. So you have a degree yet you still wait tables. You are the definition of stupid.

      Reply

      • What a joke says:

        In reply to $Bill

        $Bill I think they were trying to explain that the hourly average was based on the pay period, and not per day, as if it somehow mattered or made a difference (and also with the strange assumption that we didn’t already know this).

        I once dated this really stupid girl who couldn’t understand that two five dollar bills were just as good as a single ten. With the type of crap I’ve seen people say here, with their inability to understand that tips count as income, and this crap where they apparently think that how much they make for the day should matter over the pay period, I’d almost suggest she should be a server.

        Reply

      • In reply to What a joke

        What a joke. The fact that you had to explain to him wages are based on the pay period and not per day leads me to believe he will be nothing but a server his entire life. I also believe that low intelligence is required for the position of server.

        I think MzHouzel is that stupid girls brother. It makes me laugh listening to these people trying to glorify being a waitress.

        Can you imagine having two college degrees and having to wait tables?
        I think he got the degree in underwater basket weaving.

        Reply

      • In reply to $Bill

        I think low intelligence is required to spend hours online argueing with someone you don’t know about something you clearly know nothing about.

        Reply

      • What a joke says:

        In reply to Zach

        I’m assuming you’re referring to the servers who keep posting here, since they consistently repeat incorrect information despite being given the resources and evidence to the contrary

        Reply

      • In reply to Zach

        What is it exactly that you think I know nothing about?

        Reply

      • Satsuki says:

        In reply to $Bill

        Comprehension lol sorry had to do it

        Reply

  3. I’m a server minimum wage for me is roughly $2.15 an assumed amount of tips is taken out of my every pay check ($400) along with tip out which goes to kitchen workers (30% that I pay regardless of how much I make) my “paycheck” last week was $12 dollars.

    Reply

    • What a joke says:

      In reply to Mattie

      By law your employer must ensure that between your wage and tips you make at least Federal minimum wage. If you do not earn enough in tips to make up the difference, your employer must, by law, pay you the difference.

      They may assume you make a certain amount in tips (I am not sure how legal that necessarily is), but they aren’t taking out that money, they are taxing you on that income. Tips are income.

      However, nobody is forcing you to work there. Nobody held you down and made you sign your contract. Your shitty wage is not the fault of the customer, nor the responsibility of the customer. Your wage is your choice. You chose to work there, and choose to keep working there. You accepted the terms of your employment.

      Reply

    • In reply to Mattie

      I think that $12 for a week is more than fair. After all your a lying piece of shit as the “kitchen help” cannot be tipped out under federal law because they legally aren’t considered tipping pool workers.

      Reply

      • What a joke says:

        In reply to Danny

        Good catch, I was falling asleep at the time I read it!

        Yes, if she is tipping out to non-tipped employees, her employer cannot claim a tip credit legally, meaning base pay is $2.15 an hour.

        Everything about this shit pisses me off because it is all being blamed on and pushed off on the customer when it is NEVER the customer’s fault

        Reply

      • What a joke says:

        In reply to What a joke

        Ugh base pay is 7.25 an hour* Now I’m just waking up. Sorry!

        Reply

    • In reply to Mattie

      Not only are you a lying sack of shit, but you’re stupid.
      http://webapps.dol.gov/elaws/faq/esa/flsa/002.htm
      You do not make $2.15 an hour. You make at least federal minimum-wage.
      Every single day tips are calculated. No assumed amounts are ever taken out. You are supposed to report your tips. Kitchen workers are not tipped workers. If tips are coming out of your pay then it is your responsibility to report it to the IRS

      Not only are you a lying sack of shit, but you are an unskilled worthless piece of garbage begging for extra money from strangers.in the form of tips you don’t deserve.
      .

      Reply

  4. brah s. Ga says:

    well i must say i have nothing to complain about, I have the best view everyday and make damn good money enjoying it. Meeting new people and sharing about my island home. I work at one of the largest beach resorts on Oahu in a very high volume, high pace beach front restaurant in Waikiki. We are a Union property which is extremely beneficial when it comes to our wages. Our servers make two different hourly amounts, a short shift which is anything less than 7 hours is $11.39/hr and an 8 hour shift is $10.85/hr.+ cash tips daily with full benefits for my family of 5. We buss our own tables and run our own food and cashier our tables as well. The only people we tip out are our bartenders who by the way make approximately $25.00/hr.+ tips. And this is pretty much straight across the board at any union hotel in Waikiki. Employees are lifers, no one leaves. they either die or retire so it can take several years to move up in seniority. Many of us own our homes plus an extra rental property too. I enjoy what i do and the memories shared with returning guests who have become great friends. We do come across The Very Rude And Miserable Unhappy with their life Jerks every now and then. and I respect their space because I want none of their negative energy transferring to me. And at the end of the meal I make sure to remind them and say…aren’t you so lucky to be in Hawaii and able to enjoy all the beauty surrounding you? And without waiting for a reply I say Mahalo and have a fabulous day! Then walk away.

    Reply

    • In reply to brah s. Ga

      Am I supposed to be impressed? You need to make $150,000 a year for a family of two to be above the poverty line.
      Average home price Waikiki is $400,000. That basically gets you a dumpy 1200 sq foot home. You need at least 1.4 million to purchase anything decent. It is very doubtful you own a home, and even more doubtful you own rental property.
      You are unskilled and will always have a life of poverty.

      Reply

    • NoTipSkip says:

      In reply to brah s. Ga

      I must say that this sounds like a well run establishment. The employees are already paid minimum wage (or more) so they don’t have to rely and expect everyone to tip them. They also only have to tip out to the bartender which is perfectly legal. Glad you don’t feed us a bunch of bull like everyone else who says that they have to tip the dishwasher and cook 30% of their salary.

      Reply

  5. Majfieksoqpkw says:

    1. Somebody will spit in your food if you’re rude and they know you don’t tip. I’ve seen pretty nasty things done to be peoples food.

    2. Money doesn’t grow on trees, so please stay home, nobody wants to wait on your ugly ass.

    3. Servers have bills. They have kids. Maybe they had cancer, or someone in their family just passed away. Never be a fucking asshole you seriously don’t know what someone is going through.

    4. Do NOT even mention the word “pray” if you believed in God, you would tip. God says be generous always and kind. To everyone. He is watching you!!!!

    5. This was a stupid read.

    Reply

    • What a joke says:

      In reply to Majfieksoqpkw

      **”1. Somebody will spit in your food if you’re rude and they know you don’t tip. I’ve seen pretty nasty things done to be peoples food.”**

      This is more of an excuse not to tip than to tip at all. If we eliminate tipping culture, we eliminate this entitled attitude servers have.

      BTW, it’s illegal.

      **”2. Money doesn’t grow on trees, so please stay home, nobody wants to wait on your ugly ass.”**

      I can guarantee the restaurant owner wants business. They don’t give a shit if a server gets tips as long as they get customers. A restaurant without customers doesn’t have a need for servers.

      **”3. Servers have bills. They have kids. Maybe they had cancer, or someone in their family just passed away. Never be a fucking asshole you seriously don’t know what someone is going through.”**

      That’s not the customer’s problem. Every person who works has problems in life, too. That doesn’t make it the customer’s responsibility to pay those fucking bills for them. They didn’t make the server take the job, they didn’t make the server keep the job, they aren’t the server’s employer, who is responsible for them getting paid.

      **”4. Do NOT even mention the word “pray” if you believed in God, you would tip. God says be generous always and kind. To everyone. He is watching you!!!!”**

      You realize more than Christians pray, right? And that’s bullshit either way – God helps them who HELP THEMSELVES. God believes in charity, but servers are not a charity case. Servers are able-bodied people working a shit job, choosing to stay in a shit job. God certainly wouldn’t approve of extortion (“Pay me or I’ll contaminate your food!”), or demanding unearned money for a job one’s already being paid to do.

      **”5. This was a stupid read.”**
      reader*

      Reply

    • In reply to Majfieksoqpkw

      Tamper with my food, and I will press charges. I will also sue the restaurant who will turn around and sue you as well. Threatening to tamper with my food is reason enough never to tip your sorry ass.

      As long as I pay my $500 dinner bill, the restaurant doesn’t give a shit if I leave a tip for you. Without customers servers are not needed.

      If a server has cancer or bills to pay that is not my fucking problem. Just do your job bring me my food and don’t speak unless spoken to.

      You are nothing but an unskilled worthless server that is easily replaced. There is nothing special about you nor will there ever be. You act like an entitled piece of shit. Nothing entitles you to a tip.

      Reply

  6. Giorgio says:

    I took some people out for dinner to Ruth Chris last night. We had drinks, appetizers, and desserts the bill came to $450 approximately. When we were leaving I was watching the waitress cry the second she saw we left her no tip.
    She needs to grow up nobody is entitled to a tip. The service was great but the food was expensive and we paid for it. Leaving a tip would’ve been a foolish waste of money.

    Reply

    • In reply to Giorgio

      You did the right thing. 20% of that bill was $90
      That is absolutely ridiculous. I agree I never would’ve left a tip either. I would’ve paid money to see the waitress cry.

      Reply

  7. GrrrMrmeaniepants says:

    Spit in your food? Lol that’s so mild. When I worked in the food industry I saw people do FAR worse, such as rubbing ball sweat on it and crushing bugs with the food. Then there’s the old bartender trick of pouring Visine in the food (supposed to give diarrhea, although I’ve heard they changed the recipe and it doesn’t work anymore). Anyway if you don’t want to tip then get your own food, move to a country that has a more pleasing food service industry for you, or my personal preference stop eating altogether and just fucking die. I freely admit; I am not a good person, I don’the have much regard for the law, and have been known to be unsympathetic and a bit violent toward people that annoy me.

    Reply

    • In reply to GrrrMrmeaniepants

      Over the years I have seen long prison sentences for losers in the food industry that tampered with food. After serving 6 years in state prison they were hit with large civil suits. They will never be able to pay the 3 million dollar judgements, but they will never be able to own a house or car for the rest of their life.
      Visine does not cause diarrhea, it does lower blood pressure, and can cause a heart attack. Add second-degree murder to your prison sentence.

      Reply

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