5 reasons why I won’t tip you if you’re a waiter

It never fails to shock me how a tip is demanded in the US. People simply refuse to listen to reason when we (yes, there are others!) tell them that leaving a tip isn’t necessary. Well, I’m hoping for too much here, but if you’re a waiter, here are 5 reasons why I will try my best not to give any money to you and why the reasons for tipping are crappy.

1. You act as if you’re my best friend

Just leave me alone ok? I don’t want to bloody chit chat with you. I want food. FOOD! Get it? It’s a restaurant. I go there to eat. I go because I want either Italian food, Chinese Food or something else which I can’t get in a McDonald’s. So I come to a restaurant to fulfill my cravings for it. I will pay for what I value – food. Not you.

Christ, you offend me – kneeling down next to my table, pretending to like me and chatting as if you’re my best friend when it’s obvious that all you’re after is the tip! I’m not a bloody money bag you know. I will pay the bill which includes the cost of the food, the environment and the salaries of the people involved – nothing more.

The only way to get money out of me that I don’t have to legally pay is by prying it out of my cold dead hands…

Bottom line: I don’t want to know your name, or interact with you for any longer than I have to in order to place my order. As far as I’m concerned, you’re the equivalent of a conveyor belt that brings me my food and a computer into which I input my order. Of course, I won’t be rude. But don’t expect me to interact with you any more than I would with some stranger.

Image Credit: cafemama


Did you earn this tip?


2. You don’t get paid enough

And this is my problem how exactly? It’s astonishing that customers are expected to make up for your employer’s cheapness in not paying you a decent wage. Please include the full cost in everyone’s bill thank you very much. I’ll pay it because I have to and the charge is there for me to see.

What’s really funny here is that no one seems to criticize the employers! All criticism is reserved for non tipping customers instead of the owners of the restaurant for not paying a decent wage. Wtf! Could it possibly be because you guys know you can make much more by tips and under report your income to the IRS?

3. You’ll spit in my food if I don’t tip you?

And I’ll shoot your kid if you don’t give me a million dollars. Seriously, am I even hearing this right? You’re actually using the threat of blackmail to make me pay you? Well as long as you’re openly claiming to be a criminal it’s all right I guess.

Fortunately that’s why I prefer buffets. Listen apart from it being illegal, this shows your poor integrity. But if you spit in someone’s food because they didn’t give you money you didn’t earn, then you’re a loser and deserve to be a waiter for the rest of your life.

4. Bringing me my food isn’t worthy of being paid extra

Did you cook it? Did you invent it? No. You picked it up and brought it to me. While it might not be easy, there are plenty of jobs which are much worse – shop floor workers for example. And I’ve been a shop floor manager, so I know. Face it – compared to other jobs, being a waiter is unskilled. You get paid what the market will think your services are worth. You don’t deserve more for your work over and above what your employer should pay you.

5. Money doesn’t grow on trees

I expect you to be grateful and pray for me at night if I tip you 10%. Be happy I gave you anything at all. I worked for the money in my wallet and by giving you some I didn’t have to, I’m doing you a favor. Learn to remember that when people give you something they don’t need to, it’s a favor. You don’t complain that they didn’t give you more!

By the way, the same thing above applies to all professions that demand tips including those on cruise liners.

So now that you understand why I won’t give you money you don’t deserve, stop with the “oh how could you?” attitude. I can. And I will.

Update: Here’s a rebuttal of the many silly justifications for tipping that people have given in the comments section.

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  1. fuck you buddy. they are waiting on you and trying to make your dining experience the best it can be. their job is stressful and they have to deal with shitty people like you all the time. they make no money from the restaurant so yes, it is your job to tip them. if you have money to go out to eat, you have money to throw 20% towards the person who is serving you.


    • In reply to Julia

      Why are you responding to this? The Tipping industry is thriving and always will and is never going away. These people are ridiculous and makeup like 0.00% of customers that come in. Don’t give them any time. Because while they’re sitting here talking about how they never tip, chances are the other hundred customers that come in that day are tipping 20%. I live in New York I make around 1100 a week. That’s fine with me I don’t know who these people are and chances are no one knows who they are either.


    • In reply to Julia

      I could list over 100 minimum wage occupations that are both harder and more stressful than a waitress. Nothing they do warrants a tip. They already make minimum wage with or without tips and since a lot of people are brainwashed into tipping…the waitresses probably makes triple what minimum wage is.


      • In reply to Zeus

        Haha you’re correct…kinda. I make 4 or 5 times than minimum wage, and people like you represent the minority, so unfortunately for you and fortunately for me that’s never going to change.


    • In reply to Julia

      Your nothing but a mindless dog fetching my food and drink. Nothing you do deserves extra money.
      You make min wage with or without tips. Be happy because even at min wage you are over paid.


    • In reply to Julia

      Screw you Julia. You claim waitresses make no money at the restaurant. You say it’s my job to pay them.
      It is not my job to pay them retard.
      It’s the employer that pays you.


  2. I can’t wait for President Trump to institute tip pooling. Now all you lazy simple waitresses or boys waiting tables will be forced to get adult jobs.
    No tip for you.


  3. Holy s!!t this has over 11K comments. I’ve never seen that b4.

    Anyway to stay in topic, does anyone else feel nervous about tipping now? Who knew waiters got so angry over this. And they’ve left stories about how they get revenge on ppl who don’t tip, by spitting in their food or worse…

    To avoid the revenge I guess I’ll tip a little, but after reading this I don’t want to do the usual 20% anymore. I didn’t know so many felt like I owed them anything…


    • In reply to BT

      I used to tip because I thought waitresses did not make minimum-wage. I was wrong they make minimum-wage with or without tips. https://webapps.dol.gov/elaws/faq/esa/flsa/002.ham

      I still felt bad because they’re not smart enough to do anything else for a living. I can easily afford to tip, so I was still willing to do so.
      However, after seeing these mean comments by waiters and waitresses that think they are entitled snowflakes ❄️ It really pissed me off.
      I will never ever tip again because they don’t appreciate it and think they are entitled.


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