5 reasons why I won’t tip you if you’re a waiter

It never fails to shock me how a tip is demanded in the US. People simply refuse to listen to reason when we (yes, there are others!) tell them that leaving a tip isn’t necessary. Well, I’m hoping for too much here, but if you’re a waiter, here are 5 reasons why I will try my best not to give any money to you and why the reasons for tipping are crappy.

1. You act as if you’re my best friend

Just leave me alone ok? I don’t want to bloody chit chat with you. I want food. FOOD! Get it? It’s a restaurant. I go there to eat. I go because I want either Italian food, Chinese Food or something else which I can’t get in a McDonald’s. So I come to a restaurant to fulfill my cravings for it. I will pay for what I value – food. Not you.

Christ, you offend me – kneeling down next to my table, pretending to like me and chatting as if you’re my best friend when it’s obvious that all you’re after is the tip! I’m not a bloody money bag you know. I will pay the bill which includes the cost of the food, the environment and the salaries of the people involved – nothing more.

The only way to get money out of me that I don’t have to legally pay is by prying it out of my cold dead hands…

Bottom line: I don’t want to know your name, or interact with you for any longer than I have to in order to place my order. As far as I’m concerned, you’re the equivalent of a conveyor belt that brings me my food and a computer into which I input my order. Of course, I won’t be rude. But don’t expect me to interact with you any more than I would with some stranger.

Image Credit: cafemama

 

Did you earn this tip?

 

2. You don’t get paid enough

And this is my problem how exactly? It’s astonishing that customers are expected to make up for your employer’s cheapness in not paying you a decent wage. Please include the full cost in everyone’s bill thank you very much. I’ll pay it because I have to and the charge is there for me to see.

What’s really funny here is that no one seems to criticize the employers! All criticism is reserved for non tipping customers instead of the owners of the restaurant for not paying a decent wage. Wtf! Could it possibly be because you guys know you can make much more by tips and under report your income to the IRS?

3. You’ll spit in my food if I don’t tip you?

And I’ll shoot your kid if you don’t give me a million dollars. Seriously, am I even hearing this right? You’re actually using the threat of blackmail to make me pay you? Well as long as you’re openly claiming to be a criminal it’s all right I guess.

Fortunately that’s why I prefer buffets. Listen apart from it being illegal, this shows your poor integrity. But if you spit in someone’s food because they didn’t give you money you didn’t earn, then you’re a loser and deserve to be a waiter for the rest of your life.

4. Bringing me my food isn’t worthy of being paid extra

Did you cook it? Did you invent it? No. You picked it up and brought it to me. While it might not be easy, there are plenty of jobs which are much worse – shop floor workers for example. And I’ve been a shop floor manager, so I know. Face it – compared to other jobs, being a waiter is unskilled. You get paid what the market will think your services are worth. You don’t deserve more for your work over and above what your employer should pay you.

5. Money doesn’t grow on trees

I expect you to be grateful and pray for me at night if I tip you 10%. Be happy I gave you anything at all. I worked for the money in my wallet and by giving you some I didn’t have to, I’m doing you a favor. Learn to remember that when people give you something they don’t need to, it’s a favor. You don’t complain that they didn’t give you more!

By the way, the same thing above applies to all professions that demand tips including those on cruise liners.

So now that you understand why I won’t give you money you don’t deserve, stop with the “oh how could you?” attitude. I can. And I will.

Update: Here’s a rebuttal of the many silly justifications for tipping that people have given in the comments section.

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Comments

  1. I think that the reason tipping exists is due to the fact that the restaurant business is very competitive. It’s so easy to open a restaurant that in order to survive, that there is perfect competition in most markets. In order to spur business, many state governments have lowered the minimum wage for servers so that people who want to open a restaurant do so even though the odds of succeeding for an extended period of time (beyond 3 years) are low because they know their labor costs will be partly subsidized by customers who pay tips. If you go to other countries where people pay more per meal in order to ensure that servers get paid a living wage, people probably don’t go to restaurants as frequently as they do in the United States as the higher cost per visit means fewer visits per year. Since the U.S. attracts many immigrants without skills, an easy way for these immigrants to join the middle class is to become business owners, and many of them open restaurants in an effort to improve their financial affairs. These economic forces have contributed to the culinary diversity present in the U.S. and nowhere else. While I think tipping sucks, the system is there in part to help people take the risk to open a new business and to give servers a reason to be nice to you. Service is a bad job. Those of us with skills get to avoid customer service, so we leave the most unpleasant jobs to the most unskilled (and feel justified in doing so) so we must give an incentive to work in a very competitive, difficult to succeed in industry by providing tips. Human nature is such that when you give unskilled people the worst jobs, it’s not like they don’t know their job sucks, so there has to be something to cushion people from the reality of class and social disadvantage in the way of a tip. Because trust me, no poor unskilled person is going to automatically like a rich person that goes into a restaurant and spends more on one meal than that poor unskilled person will ever make in one week. That’s truly why tipping exist. It helps grind down the rough edges of life.

    Reply

    • What a joke says:

      In reply to Raina

      That makes absolutely no sense.

      First, we know why tipping exists. The rich aristocrats of the late 19th century liked to come up with various ways to show off their wealth, while at the same time mocking the underclassed. Tipping was a way of showing that they could simply dispose of money while at the same time make a mockery of the “special” treatment they could do for some spare change.

      Second, the minimum wage didn’t even exist until the FLSA in 1938, but it didn’t cover all people (including people in tipping careers). Coverage for tipped employees came about in 1966, at which point the FLSA was updated to allow for a tip credit, which allows employers of people who receive tips to deduct from the wages of their employee the amount of tips, but set a Federal limit to that deduction. It also stated that state laws in which the EMPLOYEE benefited more (such as higher minimums) were the only time where state laws superseded Federal. Note that this is a deduction because of RECEIVED tips, not because of the POSSIBILITY of tips. While things have been adjusted since 1966, it has always been the case that the employer MUST ensure their employee receives the full Federal minimum (or state, if it’s higher) with or without tips.

      You’re also mistaken about other countries paying servers a “living wage,” at least in American terms. In fact, when adjusted for purchasing power, Japan (where tipping is insulting) the current minimum wage is only equal to about $6.07/hour. Even lower is Spain. Even in countries where it’s higher than ours based on purchasing power, it’s not significantly so. In terms of purchasing power, our minimum wage is in the top 15 in the world, which is definitely respectable.

      The reason it seems like other countries pay so much better is because the American concept of “living wage” is higher than almost anywhere. In most of the world, if you can afford shelter and food, you make a living wage. In America, our standard of living is much higher than that. For example, in the US the poverty line for a SINGLE PERSON is $11,880. For a two person household, it’s $16,020. Yet I lived with my son for around $9,600 with cable and internet, a mobile phone, and heat in cold (northern) winters. It certainly wasn’t luxury, but we were better off than a lot of people. While there are certainly far more expensive cities in the US, the cost of living where I do is considered around the national average, so it’s a pretty good example. And remember, that’s the poverty line in America, not even the “living wage” level.

      You’re also mistaken about the frequency of restaurant visits in foreign countries, largely because you’re mistaken about the costs. None of the restaurants I’ve been to anywhere in the world (and I’ve been to a LOT) have been noticeably higher priced than similar restaurants in the US, and they all were pretty busy even on week nights.

      Please don’t offer speculative explanations where you clearly have no background or knowledge, especially in this day and age where you can easily research this.

      Reply

    • In reply to Raina

      No state has ever lowered the minimum wage to make it easier for a restaurant to open up.
      http://webapps.dol.gov/elaws/faq/esa/flsa/002.htm

      You are a very stupid individual spreading false information from lack of knowledge and research.

      Next time you open your mouth, think before you say anything else stupid.

      Reply

    • In reply to Raina

      Tipping is so dumb. There are a lot of American customs I don’t agree with. Tipping, covering your mouth when you sneeze, not beating my wife with a stick, etc. I mean I’m not married. Woman can’t stand me, but if I were I’d beat her with a stick.

      Reply

    • What a joke says:

      In reply to Raina

      On a side note thanks to the use of a magnifying glass and a pair of tweezers I actually located my own dick! It’s a red letter day! It’s too small for sex, and I don’t have the testosterone necessary to achieve an erection, but I might not have to sit down to pee anymore. #blessed

      Reply

  2. It’s easy to point out how unnecessary it is for tipping custom.At least whem you go oversea ,people will notice that all AMERICANS are rich and generious.
    BTW,I feel sory for you. No one should deserve to stay in lockup cell with internet.I know there is nothing else you can do in your life.It’s ok,man,just keep on replying endlessly until you are sick of it and take it to your grave with smile.

    Reply

    • In reply to Pralanna

      It’s easy to point out that your English and grammar skills are pathetic. When I go overseas of course they feel all Americans are rich. The foreigners live in mud huts.

      Any extra money I give them is earned, not because they feel they should receive a tip for doing nothing extra. I like to make them do humiliating things before I tip them.

      Reply

      • In reply to Kelly

        Tipping started out as a way for wealthy European aristocrats to get special treatment and humiliate the waiter. I guess you are just continuing the tradition.

        Reply

      • In reply to Kelly

        As you can tell I LOVE repeating myself! I come on here daily to say the same shit over and over again. What else am I going to do though? I have no life. See you tomorrow

        Reply

  3. Bill and Who?,Kelly? It’s the same person,isn’t it.
    And I am not talking about those mud hut poor foreigner countries ,you pathetic ,ugly fat 50 years old kid.
    Stay in your lockup cell ,I don’t think you will survive in the sun light.Go cook your Mac ‘n Cheese, you wish you can eat in restaurants with this appearance of yours.We all know you’ ve tried many times but you failed.You don’t fit in with any society,don’t you know?
    It’s unnecssary for tipping , every knows that.It doesn’ t have to be “European aristocrats ” to origin this.
    It was designed to avoid people like you from coming in.

    Reply

  4. Hey you cheap ass. Go eat at McDonalds. You cheap fucker!!! YOU’RE all a bunch of stingy, cheap ashe’s ans do nothing but Cmplain and whine about EVERYRHING!!!!! GO BACK TO INDIA!!

    Reply

    • In reply to E

      Last night I had a party of 6 dining in an upscale steakhouse. We were there for close to three hours. Stayed past closing time. Our combined bill was $474. We left no tip even tho the waitress busted her ass off. Actually we had 2 waitresses to meet our needs. I go to restaurants for the nice quality food. Your pay is not my concern as I already paid for the food. Fast food has poor quality food that’s why I eat only eat at fancy restaurants and have never left a tip.

      Reply

      • In reply to NoTipSkip

        6 people at an “upscale” restaurant ran $474 dollars. That’s $79 per person. Yeah….sorry I’m obviously full of shit. Sorry. I’ll be a better person from now on.

        Reply

      • In reply to NoTipSkip

        It sucks that I couldn’t afford drinks or appetizers. Each guest only spent $26.33 per hour on average which is clearly not an upscale restaurant. I can’t tip cuz I’m poor. Sorry

        Reply

  5. Oh, and to add. You’re just a cheap fuck!! no wonder your country i so pathetic and poor! Stay out of my restsurnt!! Your lack of empathy and utter disrespect is disgusting. The amount of crap,servers have to go through with you indians is just annoying to say the least. We see you walk in our restaurant and make bets as to who gets ‘stuck’ with your cheap asses I dont give a shit what the rules are I your country. Youre in AMERICA. follow our rules or go home ! Or go eat at IHOP.

    Reply

    • In reply to B

      Tipping is not an American rule and never even originated in America. My ass is not cheap you are an asshole that thinks he should get paid extra money for doing a unskilled job.

      There is no reason for me to pay you extra money. Other than just fill my drinks and bring me the food the cooks made What do you honestly think you do the requires a tip?

      My tip to you is get a real job you pathetic piece of shit.

      Reply

    • Just the tip says:

      In reply to B

      Funny thing is it’s actually customary to tip in India 🤔
      They just don’t do it here.

      http://www.cntraveler.com/stories/2008-11-11/etiquette-101-tipping-guide

      Reply

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