5 reasons why I won’t tip you if you’re a waiter

It never fails to shock me how a tip is demanded in the US. People simply refuse to listen to reason when we (yes, there are others!) tell them that leaving a tip isn’t necessary. Well, I’m hoping for too much here, but if you’re a waiter, here are 5 reasons why I will try my best not to give any money to you and why the reasons for tipping are crappy.

1. You act as if you’re my best friend

Just leave me alone ok? I don’t want to bloody chit chat with you. I want food. FOOD! Get it? It’s a restaurant. I go there to eat. I go because I want either Italian food, Chinese Food or something else which I can’t get in a McDonald’s. So I come to a restaurant to fulfill my cravings for it. I will pay for what I value – food. Not you.

Christ, you offend me – kneeling down next to my table, pretending to like me and chatting as if you’re my best friend when it’s obvious that all you’re after is the tip! I’m not a bloody money bag you know. I will pay the bill which includes the cost of the food, the environment and the salaries of the people involved – nothing more.

The only way to get money out of me that I don’t have to legally pay is by prying it out of my cold dead hands…

Bottom line: I don’t want to know your name, or interact with you for any longer than I have to in order to place my order. As far as I’m concerned, you’re the equivalent of a conveyor belt that brings me my food and a computer into which I input my order. Of course, I won’t be rude. But don’t expect me to interact with you any more than I would with some stranger.

Image Credit: cafemama

 

Did you earn this tip?

 

2. You don’t get paid enough

And this is my problem how exactly? It’s astonishing that customers are expected to make up for your employer’s cheapness in not paying you a decent wage. Please include the full cost in everyone’s bill thank you very much. I’ll pay it because I have to and the charge is there for me to see.

What’s really funny here is that no one seems to criticize the employers! All criticism is reserved for non tipping customers instead of the owners of the restaurant for not paying a decent wage. Wtf! Could it possibly be because you guys know you can make much more by tips and under report your income to the IRS?

3. You’ll spit in my food if I don’t tip you?

And I’ll shoot your kid if you don’t give me a million dollars. Seriously, am I even hearing this right? You’re actually using the threat of blackmail to make me pay you? Well as long as you’re openly claiming to be a criminal it’s all right I guess.

Fortunately that’s why I prefer buffets. Listen apart from it being illegal, this shows your poor integrity. But if you spit in someone’s food because they didn’t give you money you didn’t earn, then you’re a loser and deserve to be a waiter for the rest of your life.

4. Bringing me my food isn’t worthy of being paid extra

Did you cook it? Did you invent it? No. You picked it up and brought it to me. While it might not be easy, there are plenty of jobs which are much worse – shop floor workers for example. And I’ve been a shop floor manager, so I know. Face it – compared to other jobs, being a waiter is unskilled. You get paid what the market will think your services are worth. You don’t deserve more for your work over and above what your employer should pay you.

5. Money doesn’t grow on trees

I expect you to be grateful and pray for me at night if I tip you 10%. Be happy I gave you anything at all. I worked for the money in my wallet and by giving you some I didn’t have to, I’m doing you a favor. Learn to remember that when people give you something they don’t need to, it’s a favor. You don’t complain that they didn’t give you more!

By the way, the same thing above applies to all professions that demand tips including those on cruise liners.

So now that you understand why I won’t give you money you don’t deserve, stop with the “oh how could you?” attitude. I can. And I will.

Update: Here’s a rebuttal of the many silly justifications for tipping that people have given in the comments section.

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Comments

  1. Okay, I can understand if you really enjoyed the service and you’re earning a good amount of money, you might WANT to tip sometimes, but what’s all this shit about “20% is standard and 10% is insult” and being chased down the street or food spat on just because you didn’t pay MORE THAN IT ASKED FOR ON THE BILL?! Any tip should be appreciated no matter how big or small, IF I GIVE YOU A TIP, IT’S FREE MONEY THAT I’M NOT LEGALLY REQUIRED TO GIVE YOU, SO BE GRATEFUL!!

    Reply

    • In reply to Jordan

      You should always tip your server 20-25% of your bill. I work hard standing on my feet all day waiting on cheapskates like you. I only make $2.13 an hour and it all goes to taxes so basically I make nothing but tips.

      Reply

      • What a joke says:

        In reply to Naomi

        I gotta call fake comment on this one. No way anyone who has even glanced at the comments could still be saying this nonsense lol

        Reply

      • In reply to Naomi

        Are you stupid or retarded? http://webapps.dol.gov/elaws/faq/esa/flsa/002.htm

        Let’s stop the $2.13/hour bullshit.
        Since the restaurant has to pay you minimum wage with or without tips you are extremely overpaid.
        I laugh in your face you think you deserve a 20-25% tip.

        Reply

      • In reply to $Bill

        Do you even know what you’re talking about? If you think we get paid the 7.25 minimum wage + tip, you’re wrong. The legal minimum wage for a server is literally 2.13, because people are expected to tip and makeup for the rest. So when you don’t tip, our work is literally worth nothing.

        Reply

      • What a joke says:

        In reply to Amy

        Apparently you’re the one who is stupid. It says “WITH OR WITHOUT TIPS.”

        If a server makes 0 tips, their employer has to pay them the full Federal minimum wage. They can only reduce a server’s wage by the amount made in tips, no more than an amount which would reduce their wage to $2.13 an hour.

        Reply

      • In reply to $Bill

        In wisconsin, it’s legal to pay $2.33 an hour since your tips are supposed to add up to minimum wage with your actual wage. It sometimes doesn’t because of people like you. I waitress in Wisconsin and some slow days I go home with $20 total. ALL of my paycheck goes to taxes plus the $300+ I have to pay back to state. Know what you’re talking about.

        Reply

      • In reply to Maggie

        Also, some work places will look past that rule unless you actually bring your check stub and fight for the money you should have earned. Since not all tips are claimed, nobody can tell if you did or didn’t make minimum wage that day.

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      • What a joke says:

        In reply to Maggie

        Federal law supersedes state law. The law says servers must, between wages and tips, receive the Federal minimum wage. If they do not receive enough tips in addition to their wages to receive the Federal minimum, their employer MUST make up the difference.

        Any restaurant not doing this is in violation Federal law, and can be sued for unpaid wages.

        If you don’t fight for your wages that is YOUR problem. It isn’t the customer’s responsibility to pay you, it’s your boss’s.

        Reply

      • In reply to What a joke

        You honestly don’t get it. It’s not the fact that we do or don’t make minimum wage. It’s the fact that, as a server, I care about the service and experience I give my guests. I don’t just drop the food. I engage in conversation, talk your kids into finishing their food or they might not grow up big and strong, I find extra cocktails to give you. It’s a dining experience that I take seriously as a temporary job to fund my college debt . Working at a walmart as a cashier won’t make me the same amount as being a server will. And being that I don’t have my degree yet, how do you expect me to make money?

        Reply

      • What a joke says:

        In reply to Maggie

        You honestly don’t get it, do you? Being a server is unskilled labor (and before you say it, yes, it is unskilled by definition). YOU agreed to do the work for the wage – the Federal minimum. There is no guarantee of, nor requirement for tips.

        Your college education isn’t our problem. I was HOMELESS before and still managed to get money together for college. We have all sorts of funds to pay for college. If you make too much to qualify it means you are living above your means and have no excuse.

        Any other life problems of yours are not the customer’s, either. You pick the job, you continue to work there, and the customer is not your employer. You are laid to provide good service by your employer. If you don’t like that fact, quit. Go work at a factory. It’s not the customer’s problem or responsibility.

        Reply

      • In reply to Maggie

        You don’t get it I don’t give a fuck how you make your money. Maybe you should try laying on your back instead it’s not my problem.

        A waitress should not speak unless spoken to you don’t get it.

        If you have to fight and argue with your employer to get your minimum wage that is not my problem I don’t care.

        I am there to eat my food and speak to you as little as possible. Maybe you can understand that.

        All you are to me is a conveyor belt that brings me my food and drink.

        Reply

      • In reply to $Bill

        You are so correct $Bill. I hate it when waitresses make the excuse that they won’t get another job as they don’t pay as good as waitressing. Being a waitress should be an honor serving rich people like myself. They don’t deserve more money than a cashier or a Walmart greeter. To tell the truth, a Walmart greeter is more intelligent than a waitress and most of them are mentally challenged. I come for the food just like you do. A waitress should not speak unless spoken to. Sure, I could just sit at home and have my maid cook for me every night, but I can easily afford to take my girlfriend out on an expensive date a few times every week. How dare a waitress even think of me being a tightwad. It’s their employer who is the cheap ass. I feel sorry for all the people who have been brainwashed into tipping 20% every time they eat out. It’s totally disgusting that they expect a tip from everyone.

        Reply

      • In reply to Zeus

        Zeus, if the waitress shined my alligator skin shoes, and waxed my Porsche I would give her a 20% tip. Just bringing me my food is doing her job and not worthy of anything extra.

        I too find it disgusting that waitresses expect a tip simply for doing their minimum wage unskilled job.

        Reply

      • In reply to Zeus

        Could you make it any more obvious that you’ve never worked in the service, you selfish prick?

        Reply

      • In reply to Fred

        Zeus never worked in the service industry because he is highly successful. You are just a simple minded nobody. How is he a selfish prick when he paid the restaurant bill in full?

        Nobody is entitled to a tip for doing their job, you need to grow up.

        Reply

      • In reply to Fred

        I won’t argue about that. It is true that I have never worked as a waiter before. Thats because I started my business from the ground up. Busted my ass working 100 hour weeks to make sure my stocks, business interests and portfolio were a success. I still work my ass off today, but have relaxed a little bit. I’m set for life at the age of 41. A waitress works paycheck to paycheck and expects total strangers to give her free money to help pay for her unwed kids/college/trailer rent/etc. It’s not my fault you choose not to better your life. A waitress should be a temporary job. If you work as a waitress for more than 2 years I guarantee you’ll always be a loser.

        Reply

      • What a joke says:

        In reply to Zeus

        To add – not our fault they expect strangers to help them better themselves even in cases where they are going to school or something, either.

        I didn’t expect strangers to pay me extra money so I could go to school. I got is offered, and pay it back in through taxes without begging on the street or at a table in a restaurant.

        Reply

      • republican says:

        In reply to Naomi

        it doesn’t matter you choose the job and your still getting paid be blessed you get some money for being a waitress don’t like it quit it idiot you aren’t forced to work here nobody put a gun to your head and forced you to be in the food service industry you are worst then the bums who beg for money on the streets

        Reply

      • In reply to Naomi

        It’s not our responsibility to pay you extra money that you are already getting paid if you don’t like your job quit it it’s quite simple it’s never the customers responsibility to tip people in the food service being you folks in the food service industry are entitled brats quit your jobs and find a better one if you hate it otherwise stop begging the customers for tip like a bum on the street

        Reply

    • Mynisha Taylor says:

      In reply to Jordan

      Do you know what the “dining experience” is? You pay your grocery bill in a plate! That’s for the convenience….you tip your server for theeeeeeeee……SERVICE! If you didn’t have a server you’d be at a quick order restaurant but you go to “FULL SERVICE” restaurants to be…..SERVED! Then that requires a…….SERVICE CHARGE! If tipping servers wasn’t necessary, restaurants wouldn’t have them…..we’d be…..CASHIERS!

      Reply

      • In reply to Mynisha Taylor

        You are very confused regarding her job description. Let me make it very simple for you.

        You are a server, you are paid by your employer to serve me. This is the reason you are employed.

        The service you speak of is simply your job and not worth any extra money on the customers part. You are unskilled and paid accordingly.

        If you want better pay get a real job. No tip for you server boy.

        Reply

      • What a joke says:

        In reply to $Bill

        To add to what $Bill has said – any sort of “service” charge is included in the price of food. The ingredients certainly don’t cost as much as the restaurant charges, nor does the cost of preparing it, given that my food doesn’t take even an hour to prepare and it’s being prepared alongside everyone else in the restaurant.

        In fact, restaurants in the US attempting to force customers to pay a “mandatory” service charge where the customer has refused due to poor service have had their cases thrown out of court on the grounds that tips, regardless of circumstances, are not, and cannot, be required.

        Furthermore, even if the restaurant wants to change a fee for providing service (i.e. hiring you to serve tables), it would have to be legally listed as a fee on the bill, the customer would legally have to be informed of said charge BEFORE any interactions that would necessitate it, and the fee would be paid directly to the restaurant, not handed over to their employee (i.e. you).

        Reply

      • Many many monies says:

        In reply to What a joke

        The food takes hours and hours to prepare in some cases. The menu and the dishes are designed in such a way so as to allow for a relatively fast “pick up time.” The staff prepares the individual elements to each dish hours before the start of service for some of what is needed and other things are prepared over several days.

        It’s ok that you have no idea what you are talking about, really it is. How could you? You’ve only seen what a customer is able to see. Though of course any fee or charge would obviously be collected by the service staff, as they collect all moneies due to the restaurant in exchange to food, drinks and service. And I guess any transaction technically could be simplified to money being “handed over.” How else does one pay for anything? Are you suggesting one would write a check expressly for specified fees and deliver it into the hand of the restaurant owner? That would be tidious depending on the volume of business. Imagine the lines that would form. Sooooo many complaints on Yelp…

        I’d love to hear your opinions and musings on other industries that you feel you’ve observed closely enough to provide an accurate yet still demeaning analysis of the value of each employee’s role.

        And if you have time could you please list the criteria for both real and not real jobs? I only ask so I can know to whom I should feel superior. I mean, and then also joke about it with my friends with the confidence that I’m justified in my beliefs.

        Finally, how many blow jobs are you comfortable with giving in a single day? Like what’s your absolute limit? Like is 20 smelly cocks in your mouth in exchange for money too much or not even close?

        Reply

      • What a joke says:

        In reply to Many many monies

        You’re full of crap, you have no idea what any of our backgrounds are. Some of us have worked in restaurants, and others have relatives who have. My brother-in-law is a fucking chef. We definitely know what it is like.

        Unless you’re talking about catering where everything is made in advanced, the “hours” of food prep are only certain things that are put together and then left.

        Hell, $Bill has been a server before for a restaurant. So why don’t you get off your elitist horse acting like we don’t know what we’re talking about and stop trying act like the jobs you’re pretending are difficult actually are.

        Reply

    • A server says:

      In reply to Jordan

      Your a piece of shit. Servers only make $2.13 per hour. That is barely enough to pay the taxes on the money they make. If you dont want to tip go to Taco Bell, McDonald’s or Arby’s. They pay minimum wage.

      Reply

  2. Also, way to be a stereotype, Bhagwad.

    Reply

  3. All you non tipping morons do understand this simple fact right ? Profit margins in restaurants are the slimmest in any other business . If you eliminate tipping be prepared for all your favorite cheapskate dishes to go up $5 , and half of your shit restaurants to close . Then you same cheap mother fuckers will be complaining about restaurant prices being so high . Morons

    Reply

    • What a joke says:

      In reply to Alex

      You’re the moron. There have been several comments on the point, but Bhagwad covered it in his rebuttal. http://www.bhagwad.com/blog/2014/philosophy/why-your-reasons-for-demanding-a-tip-are-wrong.html/

      Basic math shows you’re full of crap (and probably can’t even count my change correctly), but we don’t even need that. We know most of the world’s tipping practices are not the absurd, entitled mess America has, and food prices are not really any different.

      As for profit margins, you’re not even in reality. Restaurants have generally the same expenses across the board, but their profit margins are entirely based on how much they earn on a ticket. Even little truck stop diners have a profit margin. Do you imagine $100 per plate restaurants don’t make a significant profit?

      Reply

    • In reply to Alex

      You are so fucking stupid, you are actually beyond mentally retarded.
      http://webapps.dol.gov/elaws/faq/esa/flsa/002.htm
      So stop the bullshit that you don’t make minimum-wage. You make at least $7.25 per hour minimum (WITH OR WITHOUT TIPS)

      Since you already make minimum-wage menu items are not going to go up a penny. Using your retarded logic, the most anything can go up is 20%.

      Your job is so simple that in many Asian countries that use trained monkeys to replace you. In the USA only mentally disabled people should be waiters or waitresses. The exception would be a teen making a little extra pocket money. No normal adult should do this for a living.

      Reply

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