5 reasons why I won’t tip you if you’re a waiter

It never fails to shock me how a tip is demanded in the US. People simply refuse to listen to reason when we (yes, there are others!) tell them that leaving a tip isn’t necessary. Well, I’m hoping for too much here, but if you’re a waiter, here are 5 reasons why I will try my best not to give any money to you and why the reasons for tipping are crappy.

1. You act as if you’re my best friend

Just leave me alone ok? I don’t want to bloody chit chat with you. I want food. FOOD! Get it? It’s a restaurant. I go there to eat. I go because I want either Italian food, Chinese Food or something else which I can’t get in a McDonald’s. So I come to a restaurant to fulfill my cravings for it. I will pay for what I value – food. Not you.

Christ, you offend me – kneeling down next to my table, pretending to like me and chatting as if you’re my best friend when it’s obvious that all you’re after is the tip! I’m not a bloody money bag you know. I will pay the bill which includes the cost of the food, the environment and the salaries of the people involved – nothing more.

The only way to get money out of me that I don’t have to legally pay is by prying it out of my cold dead hands…

Bottom line: I don’t want to know your name, or interact with you for any longer than I have to in order to place my order. As far as I’m concerned, you’re the equivalent of a conveyor belt that brings me my food and a computer into which I input my order. Of course, I won’t be rude. But don’t expect me to interact with you any more than I would with some stranger.

Image Credit: cafemama

 

Did you earn this tip?

 

2. You don’t get paid enough

And this is my problem how exactly? It’s astonishing that customers are expected to make up for your employer’s cheapness in not paying you a decent wage. Please include the full cost in everyone’s bill thank you very much. I’ll pay it because I have to and the charge is there for me to see.

What’s really funny here is that no one seems to criticize the employers! All criticism is reserved for non tipping customers instead of the owners of the restaurant for not paying a decent wage. Wtf! Could it possibly be because you guys know you can make much more by tips and under report your income to the IRS?

3. You’ll spit in my food if I don’t tip you?

And I’ll shoot your kid if you don’t give me a million dollars. Seriously, am I even hearing this right? You’re actually using the threat of blackmail to make me pay you? Well as long as you’re openly claiming to be a criminal it’s all right I guess.

Fortunately that’s why I prefer buffets. Listen apart from it being illegal, this shows your poor integrity. But if you spit in someone’s food because they didn’t give you money you didn’t earn, then you’re a loser and deserve to be a waiter for the rest of your life.

4. Bringing me my food isn’t worthy of being paid extra

Did you cook it? Did you invent it? No. You picked it up and brought it to me. While it might not be easy, there are plenty of jobs which are much worse – shop floor workers for example. And I’ve been a shop floor manager, so I know. Face it – compared to other jobs, being a waiter is unskilled. You get paid what the market will think your services are worth. You don’t deserve more for your work over and above what your employer should pay you.

5. Money doesn’t grow on trees

I expect you to be grateful and pray for me at night if I tip you 10%. Be happy I gave you anything at all. I worked for the money in my wallet and by giving you some I didn’t have to, I’m doing you a favor. Learn to remember that when people give you something they don’t need to, it’s a favor. You don’t complain that they didn’t give you more!

By the way, the same thing above applies to all professions that demand tips including those on cruise liners.

So now that you understand why I won’t give you money you don’t deserve, stop with the “oh how could you?” attitude. I can. And I will.

Update: Here’s a rebuttal of the many silly justifications for tipping that people have given in the comments section.

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Comments

  1. fuck you buddy. they are waiting on you and trying to make your dining experience the best it can be. their job is stressful and they have to deal with shitty people like you all the time. they make no money from the restaurant so yes, it is your job to tip them. if you have money to go out to eat, you have money to throw 20% towards the person who is serving you.

    Reply

    • In reply to Julia

      Why are you responding to this? The Tipping industry is thriving and always will and is never going away. These people are ridiculous and makeup like 0.00% of customers that come in. Don’t give them any time. Because while they’re sitting here talking about how they never tip, chances are the other hundred customers that come in that day are tipping 20%. I live in New York I make around 1100 a week. That’s fine with me I don’t know who these people are and chances are no one knows who they are either.

      Reply

    • In reply to Julia

      I could list over 100 minimum wage occupations that are both harder and more stressful than a waitress. Nothing they do warrants a tip. They already make minimum wage with or without tips and since a lot of people are brainwashed into tipping…the waitresses probably makes triple what minimum wage is.

      Reply

      • In reply to Zeus

        Haha you’re correct…kinda. I make 4 or 5 times than minimum wage, and people like you represent the minority, so unfortunately for you and fortunately for me that’s never going to change.

        Reply

      • In reply to Gabe

        But you dont deserve it. Youre no different than a bum with a squeege, washing windows whether they want them washed or not, and demanding payment regardless. You are literally completely unnecessary to the restaurant experience.

        Reply

      • In reply to Jared

        Mr Nick is what I call him, runs up 600 bill every time he comes in. Leaves 200.00! Why do I bring him up. Well I know him and I know you and when he sits he is number one and you will not see me till he gets everything he needs.

        Reply

      • In reply to Zeus

        2.13 an hour. When they paided waiters in Colorado 15 and the people stopped tipping the waiters went to work elsewhere. Restaurants closed! You see it’s a bunch of ignorant people dinning out now. Harder then you think to please what mommy put I your heads as to what you deserve. Don’t tip buffet will replace all restaurants and you can work to please yourselves. Lol

        Reply

    • In reply to Julia

      Your nothing but a mindless dog fetching my food and drink. Nothing you do deserves extra money.
      You make min wage with or without tips. Be happy because even at min wage you are over paid.

      Reply

      • In reply to $Bill

        At my restaurant, the server makes half of the food at the table, listing off every ingredient as we go. We also prep these ingredients in the back of house. We specialize in a four course experience, and diners can be there for over two hours. If I spend two hours of my time on you, and end up with nothing more than the $2.95/hour I receive on my paycheck, you can bet I’ll remember your face. I have every right not to give a shit about you the next time. You’ll get your food, and it’ll be FDA approved, but you get last priority if you’ve already decided not to compensate me.

        I dare you to talk to your servers like you do behind the veil of a computer. Let me know if they have the power to make or break your experience.

        Reply

      • In reply to Jacob

        Don’t forget to tell this asshole that we control his precious alcohol the drunk needs to function. And we can refuse to serve him for any reason. State law.

        Reply

      • Iwillmurderyou says:

        In reply to $Bill

        People like you will be fun to kill in the coming war. Watch you back =)

        Reply

    • In reply to Julia

      Screw you Julia. You claim waitresses make no money at the restaurant. You say it’s my job to pay them.
      It is not my job to pay them retard.
      It’s the employer that pays you.
      https://webapps.dol.gov/elaws/faq/esa/flsa/002.htm

      Reply

  2. I can’t wait for President Trump to institute tip pooling. Now all you lazy simple waitresses or boys waiting tables will be forced to get adult jobs.
    No tip for you.

    Reply

    • Iwillmurderyou says:

      In reply to $Bill

      Lol, im a trump voter, but people like you need to dragged out into the street and publicaly executed. Just some faggot baby boomer with a chip on his shoulder. I cant wait for civil war, people like you will be fun to kill

      Reply

  3. Holy s!!t this has over 11K comments. I’ve never seen that b4.

    Anyway to stay in topic, does anyone else feel nervous about tipping now? Who knew waiters got so angry over this. And they’ve left stories about how they get revenge on ppl who don’t tip, by spitting in their food or worse…

    To avoid the revenge I guess I’ll tip a little, but after reading this I don’t want to do the usual 20% anymore. I didn’t know so many felt like I owed them anything…

    Reply

    • In reply to BT

      I used to tip because I thought waitresses did not make minimum-wage. I was wrong they make minimum-wage with or without tips. https://webapps.dol.gov/elaws/faq/esa/flsa/002.ham

      I still felt bad because they’re not smart enough to do anything else for a living. I can easily afford to tip, so I was still willing to do so.
      However, after seeing these mean comments by waiters and waitresses that think they are entitled snowflakes ❄️ It really pissed me off.
      I will never ever tip again because they don’t appreciate it and think they are entitled.

      Reply

      • In reply to Rachael

        I don’t expect a good tip. I have to earn it through hard work and goodwill. And admittedly, you have the right to withhold whatever you’d like. But withstanding degradation from diners who consistently believe that we’re “not smart enough to do anything else” wears on one’s psyche.
        Many, if not the majority of us, are paying for school, or supporting children, or financing a dream.
        I greatly appreciate those who reward me when I succeed in making their night a little bit better, and I understand a lesser tip when I’m stretched too thin to properly tend to their needs. But withholding a tip in its entirety because of something that has nothing to do with me is just… Nasty.

        It’s important that I note that I make $2.95/hour. I do not receive minimum wage by default. That said, I leave work with highly variable sums. Yesterday, I only made $25 for an eight hour shift. The night prior, I walked away with almost $200.
        That is the power of the tip.

        When I dine out, I tip well because I want to make someone’s night. If I can give them a sum so stupid that they’ll tell their mom about it later, I can feel a little warmer. Because they don’t deserve to be looked down upon all day. Nobody does.

        Reply

      • In reply to Jacob

        You are full of shit. No matter what with or without tips you have to make Federal or state min wage whichever is higher.
        https://webapps.dol.gov/elaws/faq/esa/flsa/002.htm
        No tip for you.
        I also don’t give a shit the reasons anybody works as a unskilled waiter.

        Reply

  4. This article is great. I just got back from taking my wife to a fancy Italian restaurant. We had a couple bottles of expensive wine which brought our total close to $250 for the both of us. We didn’t tip as the server is already getting paid to serve us. Tipping is foolish.

    Reply

    • In reply to Richard

      Just think about how much money you can save in any given year when you don’t tip.
      I saved enough money to take a family of four to Disney World including luxury accommodations at the Grand Floridian.

      I won’t be tipping at Disney either. Mickey and friends need to get a better job if they want more money.

      Reply

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