5 reasons why I won’t tip you if you’re a waiter

It never fails to shock me how a tip is demanded in the US. People simply refuse to listen to reason when we (yes, there are others!) tell them that leaving a tip isn’t necessary. Well, I’m hoping for too much here, but if you’re a waiter, here are 5 reasons why I will try my best not to give any money to you and why the reasons for tipping are crappy.

1. You act as if you’re my best friend

Just leave me alone ok? I don’t want to bloody chit chat with you. I want food. FOOD! Get it? It’s a restaurant. I go there to eat. I go because I want either Italian food, Chinese Food or something else which I can’t get in a McDonald’s. So I come to a restaurant to fulfill my cravings for it. I will pay for what I value – food. Not you.

Christ, you offend me – kneeling down next to my table, pretending to like me and chatting as if you’re my best friend when it’s obvious that all you’re after is the tip! I’m not a bloody money bag you know. I will pay the bill which includes the cost of the food, the environment and the salaries of the people involved – nothing more.

The only way to get money out of me that I don’t have to legally pay is by prying it out of my cold dead hands…

Bottom line: I don’t want to know your name, or interact with you for any longer than I have to in order to place my order. As far as I’m concerned, you’re the equivalent of a conveyor belt that brings me my food and a computer into which I input my order. Of course, I won’t be rude. But don’t expect me to interact with you any more than I would with some stranger.

Image Credit: cafemama


Did you earn this tip?


2. You don’t get paid enough

And this is my problem how exactly? It’s astonishing that customers are expected to make up for your employer’s cheapness in not paying you a decent wage. Please include the full cost in everyone’s bill thank you very much. I’ll pay it because I have to and the charge is there for me to see.

What’s really funny here is that no one seems to criticize the employers! All criticism is reserved for non tipping customers instead of the owners of the restaurant for not paying a decent wage. Wtf! Could it possibly be because you guys know you can make much more by tips and under report your income to the IRS?

3. You’ll spit in my food if I don’t tip you?

And I’ll shoot your kid if you don’t give me a million dollars. Seriously, am I even hearing this right? You’re actually using the threat of blackmail to make me pay you? Well as long as you’re openly claiming to be a criminal it’s all right I guess.

Fortunately that’s why I prefer buffets. Listen apart from it being illegal, this shows your poor integrity. But if you spit in someone’s food because they didn’t give you money you didn’t earn, then you’re a loser and deserve to be a waiter for the rest of your life.

4. Bringing me my food isn’t worthy of being paid extra

Did you cook it? Did you invent it? No. You picked it up and brought it to me. While it might not be easy, there are plenty of jobs which are much worse – shop floor workers for example. And I’ve been a shop floor manager, so I know. Face it – compared to other jobs, being a waiter is unskilled. You get paid what the market will think your services are worth. You don’t deserve more for your work over and above what your employer should pay you.

5. Money doesn’t grow on trees

I expect you to be grateful and pray for me at night if I tip you 10%. Be happy I gave you anything at all. I worked for the money in my wallet and by giving you some I didn’t have to, I’m doing you a favor. Learn to remember that when people give you something they don’t need to, it’s a favor. You don’t complain that they didn’t give you more!

By the way, the same thing above applies to all professions that demand tips including those on cruise liners.

So now that you understand why I won’t give you money you don’t deserve, stop with the “oh how could you?” attitude. I can. And I will.

Update: Here’s a rebuttal of the many silly justifications for tipping that people have given in the comments section.

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  1. Not a waitress/eaiter says:

    Can someone please give these wealthy narcissists a complimentary side of (use your imagination) something extra special.


    • In reply to Not a waitress/eaiter

      Niggers are the worst at tipping. Indians and rag-heads too, they have no concept. The brownies because they’re used to eating out in Europe before they come to the U.S and tipping isn’t customary, but the niggers are just outright cheap, and are always looking for a free meal. Remember, comparable service for comparable gratitude.


      • In reply to Sally D.

        Yes you’re right. Now the Baghwad melon head who eats kimchi shit all life, is fucking retard booley wooley.


      • nigganontippa says:

        In reply to James B.

        Hey yo biatch mm mmm mmm mm, i leave no tip like other commenters because we twuly pow biatch, most waiters here richer than fake rich commenters YO!


      • teri gaand mein haathi ka lund says:

        In reply to nigganontippa

        Its ok baghwad i support u


      • I'm Rich you're richer says:

        In reply to teri gaand mein haathi ka lund

        I always eat out at restaurants and drop a 50 percent tip. I sometimes leave a 100 percent tip if the bill is small like 20 bucks, i’ll leave 20 bucks. What’s 40 bucks to me? I didn’t spend a hundred!


      • In reply to Sally D.

        I am white and I never tip. I know alot of whites that don’t tip so you’re just a racist piece of shit. No tip for you loser!


      • i'm racist because you hypocrite. says:

        In reply to Thomas

        I must be a rich conservative working at a restaurant huh? Doesn’t fit with your lie model of life. Collectivist scum.


      • never was a min wage job always more says:

        In reply to i’m racist because you hypocrite.

        They work a job that pays more than min wage. Whether patrons are their “employers” or not, or whatever your little baghwaD “philosophy” is, it doesn’t matter, it’s irrelevant. People who are waiters just happened to find a life hack, that can pay them comparably to some other higher end jobs. And since it’s customary you’re stupid liberal ass is kind of stuck. I know you tip, because you’re pressured to and until I see you’re goofy round melon head on TV causing a ruckus in a restaurant because you don’t want to tip, I’ll continue to believe what I know is right: you being full of SHIT.


      • In reply to never was a min wage job always more

        Customary doesn’t mean correct. The concept of tipping began simply so restaurant owners could keep the place open by not paying their workers minimum wage.

        By law they now must.

        A lot of people don’t tip. Only a few severely entitled babies whine about it.

        Waiters and waitresses were never meant to make what they do in tips. Hell, they were never meant to even be expected. They were meant to be earned.


  2. a shit hole... says:

    India is a shit hole now that alqaeda in the jndian sub-contintent has taken completely over the entire nation. Go home baghwad.


  3. I tip because they need it and they're friendly says:

    And beautiful people. Everyone should leave at least a 20% tip.


    • In reply to I tip because they need it and they’re friendly

      If they needed more than the minimum wage they earn, they wouldn’t work in a minimum wage job.


    • In reply to I tip because they need it and they’re friendly

      I don’t tip because I am superior to the waiter or waitress. I am rich and important. Even without tips you have to make at least federal minimum-wage. Walking 50 feet from the kitchen to my table is not worthy of a tip. You are just doing your simple monkey job. If you give me poor service I will contact the corporate office and have your employment terminated. Rich important customers pay the restaurants bills. Unskilled waiters are a dime a dozen. You are easily replaceable. Wealthy clientele is not.


      • In reply to $Bill

        I think the worst part is that all they are doing is carrying the food. Honestly, I’d go get my own food if I could. They let you at buffets, but I can’t in a “normal” restaurant. Basically they are FORCING us to allow somebody else carry our food, then we are expected to pay this person a percentage of what we pay for the food (despite the fact that this in no way indicates that their “job” was any more difficult).

        I am paying the restaurant to MAKE my food. Why should I pay the person /they/ hired to carry my plate when they won’t let me?

        We need automats back.


      • In reply to Walking

        To me they are nothing more than simple conveyor belts. Any adult that waits tables should be ashamed of himself. A $10 glass of wine or a $100 bottle. I find it ridiculous the tip is based on a percentage of the bill.
        I tip nothing because their services are worth nothing. It is called doing your job.


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