5 reasons why I won’t tip you if you’re a waiter

It never fails to shock me how a tip is demanded in the US. People simply refuse to listen to reason when we (yes, there are others!) tell them that leaving a tip isn’t necessary. Well, I’m hoping for too much here, but if you’re a waiter, here are 5 reasons why I will try my best not to give any money to you and why the reasons for tipping are crappy.

1. You act as if you’re my best friend

Just leave me alone ok? I don’t want to bloody chit chat with you. I want food. FOOD! Get it? It’s a restaurant. I go there to eat. I go because I want either Italian food, Chinese Food or something else which I can’t get in a McDonald’s. So I come to a restaurant to fulfill my cravings for it. I will pay for what I value – food. Not you.

Christ, you offend me – kneeling down next to my table, pretending to like me and chatting as if you’re my best friend when it’s obvious that all you’re after is the tip! I’m not a bloody money bag you know. I will pay the bill which includes the cost of the food, the environment and the salaries of the people involved – nothing more.

The only way to get money out of me that I don’t have to legally pay is by prying it out of my cold dead hands…

Bottom line: I don’t want to know your name, or interact with you for any longer than I have to in order to place my order. As far as I’m concerned, you’re the equivalent of a conveyor belt that brings me my food and a computer into which I input my order. Of course, I won’t be rude. But don’t expect me to interact with you any more than I would with some stranger.

Image Credit: cafemama

 

Did you earn this tip?

 

2. You don’t get paid enough

And this is my problem how exactly? It’s astonishing that customers are expected to make up for your employer’s cheapness in not paying you a decent wage. Please include the full cost in everyone’s bill thank you very much. I’ll pay it because I have to and the charge is there for me to see.

What’s really funny here is that no one seems to criticize the employers! All criticism is reserved for non tipping customers instead of the owners of the restaurant for not paying a decent wage. Wtf! Could it possibly be because you guys know you can make much more by tips and under report your income to the IRS?

3. You’ll spit in my food if I don’t tip you?

And I’ll shoot your kid if you don’t give me a million dollars. Seriously, am I even hearing this right? You’re actually using the threat of blackmail to make me pay you? Well as long as you’re openly claiming to be a criminal it’s all right I guess.

Fortunately that’s why I prefer buffets. Listen apart from it being illegal, this shows your poor integrity. But if you spit in someone’s food because they didn’t give you money you didn’t earn, then you’re a loser and deserve to be a waiter for the rest of your life.

4. Bringing me my food isn’t worthy of being paid extra

Did you cook it? Did you invent it? No. You picked it up and brought it to me. While it might not be easy, there are plenty of jobs which are much worse – shop floor workers for example. And I’ve been a shop floor manager, so I know. Face it – compared to other jobs, being a waiter is unskilled. You get paid what the market will think your services are worth. You don’t deserve more for your work over and above what your employer should pay you.

5. Money doesn’t grow on trees

I expect you to be grateful and pray for me at night if I tip you 10%. Be happy I gave you anything at all. I worked for the money in my wallet and by giving you some I didn’t have to, I’m doing you a favor. Learn to remember that when people give you something they don’t need to, it’s a favor. You don’t complain that they didn’t give you more!

By the way, the same thing above applies to all professions that demand tips including those on cruise liners.

So now that you understand why I won’t give you money you don’t deserve, stop with the “oh how could you?” attitude. I can. And I will.

Update: Here’s a rebuttal of the many silly justifications for tipping that people have given in the comments section.

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Comments

  1. I have a masters degree in chemical engineering. Several times a year I go to training classes to learn new technology and advancements.

    If I make a mistake it can cost several thousand dollars, and the company may need to lay off people until it can recouped the loss.

    You are a unskilled waitress fetching food and drinks. You don’t deserve a tip or extra money.

    Reply

    • In reply to Fredric

      Waitresses think their job is hard and skilled. The truth is, simple people are challenged by simple tasks. Waiting tables is unskilled and simple.

      Waiters think they should be tipped for the service they provided. It is not a service at all. It is their job to fetch your dinner and drinks. You were hired to serve people. If you want extra money then get a second job. I will never tip the hired help.

      Reply

      • james ngyugen says:

        In reply to $Bill

        Im glad people spit in your food. If you can’t be a decent person to leave a tip then make your own damn food. Don’t go out. Every server would be happy not to deal with your bullshit. For every server that has to deal with piece of shit people like you. Fuck you hope you get hit by a car

        Reply

      • In reply to james ngyugen

        Leaving a tip does not make you a decent person. It makes you stupid and foolish for throwing away your money.

        A server should be honored to serve a wealthy important person such as myself. I don’t tip the hired help for doing their menial unskilled jobs.

        Reply

      • Dr. Wolfgang says:

        In reply to $Bill

        I tend to dine at exclusive restaurants that are very overpriced. I will admit it is a silly waste of money. I can afford this luxury, and enjoy the indulgence at the end of the day.

        It feels good to know that I am not the only person who thinks tipping is no different then flushing your money down the toilet. I truly don’t care if the waiter relies on that money. The reason I dine out is for fancy food, not to pay the wages of the help.

        Caviar stuffed mushrooms, lobster tail, truffle infused blue mashed potatoes, flourless chocolate cake covered with raspberry gold frosting. The check for the four of us was around $495.

        I hate at the end of the meal when the waiters kiss your ass, it is so demeaning for them. The look on their faces when they see I left them no tip is priceless.

        Reply

      • In reply to Dr. Wolfgang

        It does ruin the meal at the end when the serving wenches kiss your ass.
        I have tried caviar many times. The eggs pop in your mouth with the overpowering salt and fish taste. It makes me want to gag, I don’t know how you enjoy it?

        The rest of your meal sounds really good though.

        Reply

      • In reply to Dr. Wolfgang

        Wow you cocksucker. You’re taking advantage of a system that you know is in place already. Yeah you’re a worthless piece of trash.

        Reply

      • In reply to Ken

        If it were in place you’d be paying taxes on your tips.

        Reply

      • In reply to Jmorris

        Whether it happens or not, by law servers are required to report all of their tips. I’m sure they can easily pocket cash but there’s no way around the credit card tips. In reference to a system being in place I was talking about the fact that people know how it works and if they don’t want to tip they have the option to order food to go.

        Reply

      • What a joke says:

        In reply to Ken

        “How it works” is the server is paid for their job by their employer, and tipping is, by it’s very nature, optional. If it weren’t, it would be a fee and would legally have to be listed as part of the price.

        Even so-called “mandatory” tips have been determined by courts to not be legally enforceable if a person refuses to pay them since a gratuity is, by definition, voluntary.

        Reply

      • In reply to What a joke

        Look dude I’m not here to debate. I think you know what I meant.

        Reply

      • In reply to Ken

        We know how tipping works. It is optional. I choose not to tip and there is nothing wrong with that. A server is only worth the minimum wage they already earn. Honestly, they should make much less.

        Reply

      • In reply to Zeus

        I’ve never served before but I would imagine it’s very stressful and hectic. I’d say it’s easily worth more than minimum wage. Perhaps you would too if you had a son or daughter doing it. Or God forbid you lose your job and it’s your only option for employment.

        Reply

      • What a joke says:

        In reply to Ken

        Many of us have had jobs as a server. It’s one of the easiest jobs ever, and anyone who says differently is simply incapable of doing anything else. The only stress involved is if they let themselves be stressed out by it. If they fuck up, or even if they lose their job, it’s NOTHING to go get a new job. My cousin has a list of 20+ places she has worked because she’s a terrible worker, and yet she has no trouble getting hired.

        Either way, nobody is making them take the job, and they are the ones who agreed to the pay. If they don’t like it, then it’s up to them to get a different job just like anyone else.

        Reply

      • Fuzzy navel says:

        In reply to Ken

        Only stressful if you make it stressful. For me it was easy to serve. If someone got mad, tell the boss and have him or her deal with it. That’s what their paid for. And on I went with my business.

        Reply

    • Stan Rothwell says:

      In reply to Fredric

      I guess I’m an uneducated slob compared to you, as I only have a 4 year degree (BS Chem E) from an admittedly second-rate school (Cal Berkeley). However, I delivered pizza in my community college days, and was fortunate enough to have parents that taught me some manners, and before college I spent 6 years in the US Air Force, where young men (and women) were expected to be professional and learn manners as well. My typical restaurant tip is between 20% and 25%, and even above that when I receive great service. The places I frequent are always happy to see me, I never get stuck in a corner, the waiters and staff are attentive and always treating me to extras. Bhagwad/Frederic: you’re not special. You’re simply ill-bred louts with no manners or class. Need I say more?

      Reply

  2. Haha this guy is a faggot nobody gives a shit about you and not tipping go fuck yourself 😂

    Reply

    • Fuzzy navel says:

      In reply to Andrew

      Wow name calling. Something I would expect my 5 year old to do. You must be one of the grossly immature types that still runs his life by zero f’s givin.

      Reply

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