I left my job three days ago. I can’t really explain why. There were several things that were wrong with the company, but none of them was the clinching reason. People who look at me say that I’ve done the craziest thing possible. In probably no other company, will I get the freedom to do exactly what I want as I did in this place. And in no other company, will things be as personal as they were here.
Perhaps that is part of the problem. Too personal. It’s ironic really. When I was in Jabalpur, many of this blog’s readers would have noticed me decrying the fact that most corporates are faceless, and they just manipulate the employees using perks in order to make them perform.
And now, I feel that that is just what I want. There is a lot of truth in the saying that a productive employee is a happy employee. Oh how the mighty have fallen! I just want a systematic way of working, where I know what I can do and what I must not do. I want to be appraised at regular intervals, and it’s always nice if that leads to you getting more money.
I’ve calculated that if I invest Rs. 20,000 every month, as opposed to the Rs. 7,000 right now, I will be able to comfortably retire in less than 20 years, with piles of cash. So this is my aim now. The last few days have been a whirl. It’s rather disorienting not to go to work in the morning as I’m used to. I’ve always been a routine person.
My wife has been the most supporting thing ever. I would never have quit without her support. Emotional support being as important as financial support. Once I explained in my lame terms why I was quitting, she just took it like a (man!?) and accepted it.
The part where I told my boss I would be leaving was the most difficult though. I had got rather attached to him, and he to me. He takes his company so personally, that he views everything in the same light-personally. I tried to tell him it was not personal, but I couldn’t help feeling that I was abandoning him when he needed me. I felt horrible that I was leaving an old man after having come to him, and showing him a better way of doing some things.
I came home and cried.
I have to hand some stuff over at the office, to try and make sure that nothing gets derailed. But I’m almost afraid to go back into the office. Too many things might come back to me. I’m such an idiot. But I had to leave. And fast at that. If I had tarried, it would never have happened. I had to be as direct, brutal, swift, and complete as possible. I held my ground that I had to leave immediately for over one and a half hours with my boss. And I did it. Never mind that I broke down after it. But I did it.