It never fails to shock me how a tip is demanded in the US. People simply refuse to listen to reason when we (yes, there are others!) tell them that leaving a tip isn’t necessary. Well, I’m hoping for too much here, but if you’re a waiter, here are 5 reasons why I will try my best not to give any money to you and why the reasons for tipping are crappy.
1. You act as if you’re my best friend
Just leave me alone ok? I don’t want to bloody chit chat with you. I want food. FOOD! Get it? It’s a restaurant. I go there to eat. I go because I want either Italian food, Chinese Food or something else which I can’t get in a McDonald’s. So I come to a restaurant to fulfill my cravings for it. I will pay for what I value – food. Not you.
Christ, you offend me – kneeling down next to my table, pretending to like me and chatting as if you’re my best friend when it’s obvious that all you’re after is the tip! I’m not a bloody money bag you know. I will pay the bill which includes the cost of the food, the environment and the salaries of the people involved – nothing more.
The only way to get money out of me that I don’t have to legally pay is by prying it out of my cold dead hands…
Bottom line: I don’t want to know your name, or interact with you for any longer than I have to in order to place my order. As far as I’m concerned, you’re the equivalent of a conveyor belt that brings me my food and a computer into which I input my order. Of course, I won’t be rude. But don’t expect me to interact with you any more than I would with some stranger.
Image Credit: cafemama
2. You don’t get paid enough
And this is my problem how exactly? It’s astonishing that customers are expected to make up for your employer’s cheapness in not paying you a decent wage. Please include the full cost in everyone’s bill thank you very much. I’ll pay it because I have to and the charge is there for me to see.
What’s really funny here is that no one seems to criticize the employers! All criticism is reserved for non tipping customers instead of the owners of the restaurant for not paying a decent wage. Wtf! Could it possibly be because you guys know you can make much more by tips and under report your income to the IRS?
3. You’ll spit in my food if I don’t tip you?
And I’ll shoot your kid if you don’t give me a million dollars. Seriously, am I even hearing this right? You’re actually using the threat of blackmail to make me pay you? Well as long as you’re openly claiming to be a criminal it’s all right I guess.
Fortunately that’s why I prefer buffets. Listen apart from it being illegal, this shows your poor integrity. But if you spit in someone’s food because they didn’t give you money you didn’t earn, then you’re a loser and deserve to be a waiter for the rest of your life.
4. Bringing me my food isn’t worthy of being paid extra
Did you cook it? Did you invent it? No. You picked it up and brought it to me. While it might not be easy, there are plenty of jobs which are much worse – shop floor workers for example. And I’ve been a shop floor manager, so I know. Face it – compared to other jobs, being a waiter is unskilled. You get paid what the market will think your services are worth. You don’t deserve more for your work over and above what your employer should pay you.
5. Money doesn’t grow on trees
I expect you to be grateful and pray for me at night if I tip you 10%. Be happy I gave you anything at all. I worked for the money in my wallet and by giving you some I didn’t have to, I’m doing you a favor. Learn to remember that when people give you something they don’t need to, it’s a favor. You don’t complain that they didn’t give you more!
By the way, the same thing above applies to all professions that demand tips including those on cruise liners.
So now that you understand why I won’t give you money you don’t deserve, stop with the “oh how could you?” attitude. I can. And I will.
Update: Here’s a rebuttal of the many silly justifications for tipping that people have given in the comments section.
i am a server and i do pretty well, averaging well over $10/hr in tips. now, i agree, it is your right whether to tip or not. i do not expect you to hand me your money for no reason. i’m not entitled to anything. this is why you don’t tip before the meal. imagine that for a minute. you are gonna spend $25 on a meal so you hand your server $5 before you order anything. the server has already received their tip so they could give good or bad service and it wouldn’t even matter, because they got paid first. the server’s motivation disappears.
look at fast food restaurants and walmarts. the employees don’t give a shit, the environments are filthy, there is no motivation for the employees to do better or go the extra mile. they will receive $7.25 for an hour of work whether they work their ass off to provide you with excellent service, or they stand there doing absolutely nothing and ignoring your requests.
just knowing that i can receive a tip from you at the end of the meal motivates me to work harder, faster, and better. i will cater to any special requests you may have, i will make sure you are my top priority (even though i’m juggling 6 tables of families of 4 or more, and you don’t even notice), i will make sure that you feel welcome and are appreciated. i actually enjoy doing business with you and i see it as a lot more than just bringing you your food. i just want my work to be noticed and for you to value the positive service and experience i provide you with.
a tip is your token of appreciation and generosity. every table i serve will receive my best possible service without any expectations of any tip. i only hope that you are a decent person and accept the social norms we have in today’s society. yes, my number one motive is a tip. that is the reason i am a server, because i know it’s possible to make really good money off of tips. it really sucks when i don’t get a tip from a table that i served at 110%.
just think about this. i may only have 3 tables in my section for the night. table 1 tips me $6, table 2 tips me $3, and table 3 tips me nothing, and this rotation took an hour of my 8 hour shift. my time at work is being wasted. you are wasting my time and energy. someone else, a generous family, could have been sitting there and maybe left me $10. my pay would’ve doubled. if i knew beforehand who was gonna tip more, you or them, i would’ve refused to let you sit there. if you wanna look at it a different way, you could see it as you are paying for an opportunity to eat at a table in a nice, busy restaurant.
also, i feel that a lot of you douchebags that don’t tip are probably wealthy and pinch your pennies so hard, you could never put your money in the hands of someone of a lower class than yourselves. i feel that middle and even lower class people would relate more to a server who is working hard to earn a little bit of money and therefore actually leave a decent tip to help their fellow man. you rich people only care about helping yourself and holding on to your dear fortune. i’m sure the other half of you non-tippers are just scumbags that only care about themselves.
i mean come on guys, surely you can leave at the very least $1…leaving nothing is just fucked up. i can at least afford a package of ramen noodles if you leave me a little bit, ya know?
Everyone seems to believe that this is an unskilled job. You too for advice experience and service. You tip because I recommended that wine that went so very well with your meal. You tip because I deboned your fish even though you knew you were buying it while. You too because I followed proper protocols to serve the women first. You tip because I had the tact to “pretend” I lost your reservation you never made for your anniversary dinner with your wife and immediately seat you and have some champagne brought over. You tip because in all honesty if you could do what I am doing you wouldn’t come to my damn restaraunt and you would cook at home.
I think that the restaurant should pay waitress’s/waiters at least minimum wage, in fact it’s hard to believe the whole “they only get paid 2-4 bucks by their employer” statements that are going around. But if I was a waitress I would know that my job when you walk in is to seat you, take down your orders; along with any changes to them you would like. Then deliver the orders to the waiter, bring you your food when it’s ready and bring the bill when your done. That is our whole interaction between you and me that is REQUIRED as a waitress. However if you are rude to me or don’t tip me at least something then the next time you come back I will not smile or be friendly, i will not come to your table and ask if you need something however I won’t ignore you if you do call me over or purposely mess up the order like Kat would do. Your table priority will be definitely lower the tables who do tip and act friendly, they will come first before you. in conclusion no you should not pay for a waitress’s job but if you aren’t friendly or give at least something as a tip then a waitress will not go above their job description for you.
In reply to Camilla
I like your philosophy. Tipping should be optional and based off the performance of the employee. Society has everyone thinking they are obligated to give at least 15-20%. I used to give in that range regardless of the waitresses performance, until I got wise. I usually dine alone and might get one refill if that so I’m easy to please. If a waitress checks on me and gives me that refill then that’s decent service that’ll get a tip. However if I don’t get checked on at least once and have to hunt the waitress down just to get my check after waiting 20 minutes for it, then ya I won’t leave anything…and this happens more often then you’d think.
It’s kinda like the newspaper boy. If you live in the boonies then your going to get your paper at the end of the driveway. If you want it on the porch then you should have to tip for that extra service.
In reply to Camilla
I don’t give a shit if you don’t smile or act friendly. Just bring my food, refill my scotch and shut up. You are beneath me anyways so I would be very happy if you did not speak to me.
In reply to Brad
And exactly why are servers beneath you??? I have a Master’s degree in a shitty job market. At least half of the people I know that are servers have at least, I’m willing to bet, if not more education than you do. Your ignorance and over all pompous ugliness make you beneath me. Have another scotch.
In reply to Emily
I too feel that waitresses and waiters are beneath me: at the CES Las Vegas show we have comprised a list of top five requirements that an employer would look for to hire a waiter / waitress. These are also five things to look for so you don’t hire a worthless employee for your electronics store.
1) Masters degree in a worthless field of study
2) Single mother
3) lives in a trailer park
4) actually lists being a waitress as working experience
5) lazy, only a high school education low self-esteem hard life etc.
Sidenote I can’t believe they asked if I wanted to pre-tip the waitress at the Buffets. Must be dreaming in Vegas. The only tip I am going to leave is get a job that is actually worth minimum wage.
In reply to Charles
Excuse me but I sure as hell am not beneath you. I am doing my job just like you do yours. I deal with shitty customers all day and get yelled at by people in the kitchen and people out in the dining area. I am the midpoint from the two areas. I am currently pursuing a degree and working as a waitress is the fastest way I can pay for my education. I can understand if the wait staff is lacking in their responsibilities but if we are doing our job a tip is greatly appreciated. the fact that you think you are above me is beyond ridiculous. Some of us don’t have our college educations or lives handed to us on a silver plate. We have to work all day and all night. Come home wth back, knee, foot, wrist and shoulder pain every night and also manage to make the grade. There is a reason we chose to be on the wait staff. Most of the time it is for the tips. And your attitude to think you are above me is illogical, ill informed, pathetic and selfish. We bring you your food, give you advice on what to get, tell you the ingredients, aid you in any way we can as well as multiple other tables at once for our job. Just like doctors take care of you when you are sick and teachers help you to learn material. You try to deal with the stress of being on the wait staff. Then we can decide if we are “beneath you.” Don’t you dare diss being a single parent they work twice as hard as you do. Don’t you dare try to group the wait staff into one specific negative group. Otherwise it sounds like you are beneath us because you can’t open your eyes and see how hard they work to get the life that was handed to you.
In reply to Brad
I couldn’t believe what I was reading when I saw this article. I would have never bet that anyone would agree then I saw the comments holly shit there are some idiots out here. Keep not tipping and being rude that’s why I keep thriving. I over tip every where even at places that people probably don’t tip at I do and you know what those people treat me good my experience is always great and when they see me outside of work they are nice. You know what else happens when they need my product they come see me to make the purchase. My business has grown faster than anyone else in my market and keeps growing. I will continue to over tip and I hope you other idiots keep acting rude so I will continue to grow. The guy that said servers are below you cause of a their job you are a complete moron by far the dumbest thing I’ve ever read.
In reply to Brad
This is to the person who wrote this crap and the comment!! Especially this comment, !!!!I’ve never been a waitress and that’s not a job I would want , however , to say it’s beneath me, ? You are a 120% jackass. For one, being friendly in customer service is in their job description and they are required to provide names in case they are rude and other reasons. Some people work in restaurants and Walmart , other places that don’t pay much because they have to, and others, you dumb idiot because they want to, just because someone works in a restaurant you don’t know what they have, there are ppl who have more money than you’ll probably ever see working those positions because they have retired from good jobs, or their husbands or wives have a lot of money and work long hours so they don’t have to workkkkk but they want to keep busy. So ppl don’t need your money. But with that attitude one day you may need theirs , I wish I could be there when everything you think you’ve done crumbles and you find yourself pouring coffee and nobody leaves you a tip, so you may wanna be careful how you treat people. Another thing , oh bright one!!! How the hell is someone going to
Spit in food if you don’t tip them? And you prefer buffets? Lol, not the sharpest knife in the drawer! Buffets are the nastiest place you can go, ohhh sure you can bypass a tip, but you will pay that back at the emerg room when your dumb butt gets food poisoning, so the tip turned into a copay, because the waitresses and waiters and cooks have to be somewhat sanitary, the customers breathing and coughing on your food at the buffet and letting their snotty nosed kids stick their fingers in the macaroni and cheese arent required to wear gloves and what about when the customer before you drops his cell phone in the soup? What restaurant have you gone to where they tip then serve? So stupid! and if it wasn’t for them working those jobs you’d be getting your own Damn coffee which is what you prob need to do. But then again doesnt sound like you are bright enough to turn on a coffee pot, so looks like they are above YOU!
That’s for you Emily and anyone else who works at a restaurant. All of us are not ignorant. We appreciate servers because some of us don’t like to cook, or don’t have time, and if it wasn’t for your position , we would have no choice. Don’t worry , these idiots will have their day, calling themselves above anyone!!!!!
In reply to Camilla
I will call the corporate office and have your ass fired for not doing your job. I won’t even bother going to the manager. They will probably send me a $100 gift certificate and you will be off to the unemployment office. The only tip you’re getting from me is find a better job.
In reply to Brad
Dude you just need to stay home.
In reply to Brad
If you want us to find another job who is suppose to bring you another scotch…dick stay home you cheap motherfucker:)
In reply to Camilla
All these people are talking about laws and what not and how it is to be a waiter/waitress but none of them actually are waiters. It’s like the bourgeoisie talking about the population and how it is to be proletariat
Lmao
1. The reason you don’t tip is cause you need a better paying job not the server.
2. I’ve cleared $1000 in a week before serving so why would I quit or look for a new job?
3. Tend a 6top 3x 4 tops and a 2 top simultaneously and say it’s easy lol you wouldn’t stand a chance
4. We aren’t pretending to be your friend it’s good people treating people right. (You should try it)
5. People like you is why McDonalds has a value menu
In reply to Tyler
Now I’m actually happy I did not tip after my expensive meal at Ruth Chris
In reply to Brad
Guys,
This guy is just generally unhappy and miserable person in every aspect of his life. I am sure this anger towards waiters, it’s a problem which is rooted deep down in his childhood. Maybe his mum was a waitress and she was abused or his dad was sexually molesting him.
I feel sorry for him tho.
His life must be very depressing and his world must be very grey. He must be very poor and probably his wife is cheating on him.
Let’s face it. There is people like this in the world. Many. And the numbers are growing. They are the ones that will push you on the street and not apologise.They are the ones that will take the last sit on the bus and will pretend they are not noticing the old lady standing next to them.They are the ones on the streets that you never notice. Thats why they become even more angry.
But we shouldn’t let this negative energy became contagious.
Don’t become like them. Love life!!
Life is good with a little bit of positive attitude.
And don’t forget to keep on smiling!
Love from London
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I’m assuming whoever wrote this article would be at least somewhat familiar with the business side of restaurants, but sadly, it is clear to see that this person has not the slightest idea. Allow me to educate. I’ve been in the restaurant business for over 7 years, I’ve held every position from dishwasher to line cook, server to bartender, as well as management positions. Labor cost and food cost are the biggest problems restaurants face. Typically, you want to keep your food cost below 30%, and labor cost below 25%. So if a restaurant sells $100 worth of food, but pays $25 in labor to its employees, and the basic commodities to make the food costs $30, then the remaining $45 is for the restaurant. Factor in benefits and payroll taxes, as well as electric/gas/internet/phone/rent/mortgage for the space, it comes out to be much less. Tipping is a form of etiquette, it is not mandatory. In this life I have learned that the best investment has nothing to do with money. I invest in people. As a food server at a higher end restaurant attracting the local country club clientele, I am given a huge incentive to provide exceptional service. That said, while tipping is a form of etiquette as I just stated, it is also an incentive for me to give a fuck about you. Now, you might have multiple opinions on whether or not that is fair or if you agree with it, the bottom line is that’s just the way it is. Deal with it. If you don’t like it, try moving to another country, or you can continue your inane practice of saying “fuck the system,” like some black-clothing-clad teenager chain smoking cigarettes desperately pleading for attention on a blog website no one gives a shit about. To complain that you have to go to a restaurant, sit on your ass and do nothing, whinge over the misery of having to communicate with a complete stranger in order to get your food and further justifying why you shouldn’t tip someone who does everything for you aside from shaking your tiny needle dick when your done taking a piss has to be the dumbest shit I’ve ever read in my life.
I have been a server for only a couple of years, and before then I would always complain about tipping and how I worked at other jobs making minimum wage and didnt get tips. I understand where both sides are coming from. However, sometimes people dont think about it but we are paying the bartenders for your drinks and paying the cooks to make your food out of our own pocket. So if you order 100$ worth of food and drinks, I have to pay 4.00$ out of my own pocket, thus making my wage 4.00 per hour. We literally are paying for you to eat. I understand your point about our managers not paying enough, but think about it. If we all got paid 12 or 14 dollars an hour, the price of the food would have to skyrocket to make up for our wages. We would get paid the same as the cooks and not get tips, so we would not tip them out. This would destroy any incentive to give 100 percent to their job, especially when the guest is being picky or difficult and treating us like dogs. As for the servers, we would not get paid more to do a better job. It would be like working at a Mcdonalds, where they dont care because they get paid the same anyway. Also, you can blame some of the reason the manager cant pay us decently on the amount of perfectly good food we have to throw in the trash (28 dollar steaks and racks of ribs) because you didnt like the taste of the sauce or deglected to tell us you didnt like mushrooms. would you throw that out at home is the real question here. There would be no more of that silly wasteful shit either. So either way, tipping or not, you will be paying the same price. Either 30$ for a meal with a 10-20% tip to ensure good service and keep servers on their toes, or we can jack up the price to 35-38 $ and your server wont have to depend on generosity and society standards to get through college as it wont effect her paycheck. Tipping is a better way to pay the extra you would be paying for the food if we had a normal wage as to ensure quality of service and that we get what we deserve. Just think about that next time you go to a restaraunt. And if you dont like tipping, order our food as takeout so we dont have to pay for you to eat, or get your wife to cook for you and clean up after you. Then you dont have to talk to us or see us, and we dont have to worry about rent and student loans.
Andddd the Indian in the writer speaks up lol. What a stingy bastard. I mean while you wait for ’employers’ to catch up, you’re gonna take your rebellion out on the wait staff? And you’re talking about having integrity? What a piece of shit. Most people don’t work as a waitress so they don’t have to get ‘taxed’ on it. And like in every job in the world, you need to have some skills at least.
The thing is it is easy for pricks like you to write things like this because you don’t have to rely on a restaurant job to feed yourself and your family. If you did, you would never have written this.
Stop being such a miserly, stingy Indian/South-Asian person. Yeah that’s a racist comment, but I for once know for a fact that Desi people are cheap. Why? Cuz I’ve grown up in that culture, and I see it even in the USA today among desi people. Now fuck off.
YOU ARE EXEMPTED FROM TIPPING CAUSE YOU ARE AN INDIAN. (INDIANS DIE WHEN THEY TIP)
YOU WILL JUST GET KARMA BACK SOME OTHER WAY, AND IN A BIG BIG WAY … AND THIS MAKES ME HAPPY!
Tipping is a custom that differs from place to place and country to country. Visitors should make themselves familiar with the local custom – perhaps ask the restaurant or info centre what the local custom is regarding tips.
Some countries or cities do not pay waitrons, and there is a standard service charge of 10% which is the waitrons only income. In this scenario, a 10% tip is the minimum one should pay – rising to as much as one likes where good service is to be rewarded.
In these situations, the restaurant covers only its own costs – not the waiters, who are basically free agents.
Where service fees are included, one can assume the waiters receive that money – but one can still reward good service with an extra amount paid direct to the waitron.
Check what the norms are when travelling – some customs frown on tipping. It’s part of the learning experience of being a traveller.
If you are extremely anti-social, then its advisable to avoid places where you may encounter friendly human interactions – much like not choosing to sit next to a stage at a live show – only to complain about the noise later.
I have found that the least common thing is ‘common sense’
Tipping has always made me feel bad and uncomfortable. I feel like it is designed to guilt you into paying more. Just tell me how much you want and I will decide if we trade or not. Making it optional makes me feel like I shouldn’t pay it and it just feels dishonest. If there is something special I want to pay you to do then that is a good purpose for a tip, but I don’t ever know of anything like that I need. I prefer countries Japan and Germany that refrain from tipping. Tipping just seems impolite to me.