It never fails to shock me how a tip is demanded in the US. People simply refuse to listen to reason when we (yes, there are others!) tell them that leaving a tip isn’t necessary. Well, I’m hoping for too much here, but if you’re a waiter, here are 5 reasons why I will try my best not to give any money to you and why the reasons for tipping are crappy.
1. You act as if you’re my best friend
Just leave me alone ok? I don’t want to bloody chit chat with you. I want food. FOOD! Get it? It’s a restaurant. I go there to eat. I go because I want either Italian food, Chinese Food or something else which I can’t get in a McDonald’s. So I come to a restaurant to fulfill my cravings for it. I will pay for what I value – food. Not you.
Christ, you offend me – kneeling down next to my table, pretending to like me and chatting as if you’re my best friend when it’s obvious that all you’re after is the tip! I’m not a bloody money bag you know. I will pay the bill which includes the cost of the food, the environment and the salaries of the people involved – nothing more.
The only way to get money out of me that I don’t have to legally pay is by prying it out of my cold dead hands…
Bottom line: I don’t want to know your name, or interact with you for any longer than I have to in order to place my order. As far as I’m concerned, you’re the equivalent of a conveyor belt that brings me my food and a computer into which I input my order. Of course, I won’t be rude. But don’t expect me to interact with you any more than I would with some stranger.
Image Credit: cafemama
2. You don’t get paid enough
And this is my problem how exactly? It’s astonishing that customers are expected to make up for your employer’s cheapness in not paying you a decent wage. Please include the full cost in everyone’s bill thank you very much. I’ll pay it because I have to and the charge is there for me to see.
What’s really funny here is that no one seems to criticize the employers! All criticism is reserved for non tipping customers instead of the owners of the restaurant for not paying a decent wage. Wtf! Could it possibly be because you guys know you can make much more by tips and under report your income to the IRS?
3. You’ll spit in my food if I don’t tip you?
And I’ll shoot your kid if you don’t give me a million dollars. Seriously, am I even hearing this right? You’re actually using the threat of blackmail to make me pay you? Well as long as you’re openly claiming to be a criminal it’s all right I guess.
Fortunately that’s why I prefer buffets. Listen apart from it being illegal, this shows your poor integrity. But if you spit in someone’s food because they didn’t give you money you didn’t earn, then you’re a loser and deserve to be a waiter for the rest of your life.
4. Bringing me my food isn’t worthy of being paid extra
Did you cook it? Did you invent it? No. You picked it up and brought it to me. While it might not be easy, there are plenty of jobs which are much worse – shop floor workers for example. And I’ve been a shop floor manager, so I know. Face it – compared to other jobs, being a waiter is unskilled. You get paid what the market will think your services are worth. You don’t deserve more for your work over and above what your employer should pay you.
5. Money doesn’t grow on trees
I expect you to be grateful and pray for me at night if I tip you 10%. Be happy I gave you anything at all. I worked for the money in my wallet and by giving you some I didn’t have to, I’m doing you a favor. Learn to remember that when people give you something they don’t need to, it’s a favor. You don’t complain that they didn’t give you more!
By the way, the same thing above applies to all professions that demand tips including those on cruise liners.
So now that you understand why I won’t give you money you don’t deserve, stop with the “oh how could you?” attitude. I can. And I will.
Update: Here’s a rebuttal of the many silly justifications for tipping that people have given in the comments section.
I am a restaurant manager but started out as a server. If you think serving is not hard or a skill, you are very mistaken and it is obvious that you have never tried it. I guarantee you would fail! It is a very hard and demanding job. There are many people I have hired over the years that can not physically or mentally do it. As for you comment about not wanting them to talk and interact with you, there are many people that love the conversation and that is the reason they go out!
In reply to Jenn
That is so funny you think people only go out to eat just to talk to the waitresses. The hardest part of a waitresses job is balancing a tray of food. Everything else is so easy a preschooler can do it.
In reply to NoTipSkip
A preschooler could do it without any training
In reply to NoTipSkip
You can be a server without possessing any skills, you just be any good at the job. That’s all. There are very skilled servers out there with a vast knowledge of how dishes are prepared, those who can suggest the perfect multi course meal and able to pair wines with each course. Also not to mention, a good server can multi task much better than probably 95% of the people who think they’re above their server. And for those who don’t want or like to tip, if you’re in America, this is our culture when going out to eat. And to knowingly choose not respect that aspect of our culture is a disgusting trait to possess.
In reply to Evan Mcsorely
Yeah, no, it’s not “American culture” in any way. It’s from upper-class European culture where the intent was to show off how much money a person has. It was never intended to in any way help the server. It was intended to mock them by showing what you could get them to do for a few bucks.
You know what has a nice, long history in America as parts of our culture? Slavery, racism, bigotry, and sexism. If you’re under the delusion that things should continue simply because they’ve been that way for a while, I guess you support even crappier treatment of the poor, like for the long period prior to unions when people weren’t even paid in money?
It is not the customer’s responsibility to pay the server. The server is an employee of the restaurant and is already being paid to do their job. They have no right to a tip. That is not only asking for money for something they are already being paid to do, but asking a person who is not responsible in any way for paying them to do their job.
As for a server being better than anyone at anything, well, you have to ask why they’re still a server if that’s true.
In reply to What a joke
What a paradoxical situation for you. On bone hand you show your hatred of the poor by demeaning them and their profession, yet on the other hand you basically admit to being poor by having to worry about tipping. Now you will attempt a rebuttal claiming neither to be true, but your actions have spoken for you. Someone that doesn’t hate the poor would never ask why someone is still a server, and someone that is financially comfortable would never public ally proclaim their hatred for, and/or inability to tip. If it was simply a choice not to tip, or disagreeing with tipping in general,you would simply not say anything and just not tip. You are also not making a statement to change the “institution” of tipping. No one will tip any more or less because of your words. It is the vocalization that is the dead giveaway to the true intent. If you didn’twantto tip, then you simply wouldn’t. You however, can’t afford to and it eats at you. You’re broke and your replies of “I choose not to..” and “we shouldn’t have to..” Blah blah blah, have already been addressed above.
In reply to Financially comfortable
BTW, I’m 6’3″ typing on a phone with big hands, I get that my fingers hit an extra letter here and there.
In reply to Financially comfortable
The problem with your entire argument is that it hinges on the concept that refusing to give people money they haven’t earned somehow implies hatred of the poor. I grew up poor. Even lived homeless for a while. I do not hate the poor.
Refusing to tip in no way indicates hatred of the poor, either. Believing money should be earned is still not hatred of the poor – I earned the life I have without asking for a handout. Neither is stating facts about the job indication of hatred of the poor. It is an absolute fact that serving is unskilled labor – you require no education beyond the ability to read and do basic math to do it. It is classified as unskilled labor. It does not matter why they do the job, not how difficult they imagine it to be. If they believe it to be more difficult than better jobs, then they are certainly welcome to do the supposedly better, “easier” job that pays more. I welcome them to try it, and prove it.
Furthermore, the idea that unskilled labor such as serving should only pay minimum wage is also not evidence of hatred of the poor. First, because such jobs were never intended to live off of, second because they agree to that wage when they take the job – it doesn’t matter why, and third because actual skilled jobs, or more difficult, or more dangerous often pay little more than a living wage.
Suggesting the poor raise themselves up the way I did (as a single father, no less) is in no way a demonstration of hatred of the poor.
In reply to What a joke
That was a completely evasive answer. I clearly stated that you demonstrated your hatred for the poor by your insulting words, not by your tipping habits.
In reply to Financially comfortable
That’s odd, I don’t see a single place where I say I hate poor people. I mean, you replied directly to my comment, you’re clearly talking to me, but not one place does it say, “I hate poor people,” nor anything abusive toward poor people. I certainly point out that servers are whiny, entitled con artists, but poor people is not synonymous with server, even if a server happens to also be a poor person.
In reply to Financially comfortable
The poor and stupid are very important to me. They help keep rich people richer. I get guaranteed section 8 rent. My corner store makes a ton of money since they have no cars. I can double to triple all my prices. My laundromat is spare change that purchased my daughters Ferrari. Sales from my liquor store paid my daughters college tuition to Yale University.
The only purpose of poor stupid people is to keep rich people richer.
In reply to What a joke
For starters there is a minimum wage law here that allows business owners to pay servers less than min wage. They are expected to make up the difference in tips. First off the tip is not just for the waitress, she has to tip out the host or hostess for seating you, she has to tip out the cook who prepared the meal according to the specifications that she gives that you gave her. On top of that she has to make sure your food is delivered to you HOT if it is supposed to be hot or Cold if that is the case. For the measly pay she gets she has to wait on people who can be rude and condensending because they think it is a lowly job and beneath their respect. If you can’t tip for your reasons do us all a favor and stay home and eat.
In reply to A Marshal
“For starters there is a minimum wage law here that allows business owners to pay servers less than min wage. They are expected to make up the difference in tips.”
Federal wage requires their employer – the restaurant – to make up the difference if they do not make it in tips. Look through other comments for the link, I’m tired of looking it up again. Federal law trumps any state or local law which means it doesn’t matter what the local base pay is for them, their employer is required by law to ensure they make a minimum of $7.25 per hour.
“First off the tip is not just for the waitress, she has to tip out the host or hostess for seating you, she has to tip out the cook who prepared the meal according to the specifications that she gives that you gave her.”
Tipping out is restaurant policy which means it’s not necessarily the case everywhere. Even where it is, it still doesn’t matter – law still requires the employer ensure each and every employee receives Federal minimum wage with or without tips.
Fast food workers also have to ensure that my order is correct (BK even has a song about it), and they have to work for the same minimum wage.
“On top of that she has to make sure your food is delivered to you HOT if it is supposed to be hot or Cold if that is the case. For the measly pay she gets she has to wait on people who can be rude and condensending because they think it is a lowly job and beneath their respect.”
Fast food workers have to deal with the same customers, and have to make sure the custom’s food is the correct temperature, and they are required by their employer to get it all done within a very short time limit. Still same crappy wage.
“If you can’t tip for your reasons do us all a favor and stay home and eat.”
I am already paying to be waited on. That’s why the food costs more than fast food. If the servers didn’t wait on anyone – tips or no tips – they would not be servers. They are being paid to wait tables. It doesn’t matter if it’s crappy pay – it’s an unskilled job. If you think they deserve to be tipped, then you better be tipping your cashier at Walmart and the guy who hands you your budget at McDonald’s because they have crappy, low paying jobs too.
In reply to A Marshal
I waitress at an upscale restaurant. In a 6 hour shift I bring home over $500 in tips. It is easy money for easy work.
In reply to Courtney
If you made that much money during a 6 hour shift. I’m sure you did a lot more than just bring food to the table. You must’ve sold drugs, sucked a lot of dick, and layed on your back.
I don’t tip and I feel extra good about it now.
In reply to Trent
No sir…I do not do anything extra. Think about it. The average bill for a table at my restaurant is around $150-$200. If I wait on 3-4 tables an hour for 6 hours and the average tip is 20% (usually more), I easily make $700 or so in tips and thats on a slow night.
In reply to Trent
How dare you speak to a woman this way…you should really just stop! Between this and your outlook on tipping servers you really seem beyond ignorant! Who raises men like this!? Seriously!?
In reply to Evan Mcsorely
I have a $4 app on my smart phone created by the NY Culinary institute that does all this for me. There is no such thing as a skilled server, you make me laugh. No tip for you servant boy.
In reply to NoTipSkip
No tip skip, I drive a taxi in the Sarasota Florida area. A sometimes dangerous and annoying job. I deal with a lot of drunks. I think it’s very inappropriate to fish or demand tips, but I understand y my colleagues do it. R u saying that I shouldn’t b tipped at all for going out of my way to keep someone safe, but is also belligerent???A lot of my fares think they r being responsible, but r itching to drive, some r too drunk to say their addresses, so I shouldn’t get extra for that without expecting it. Come on now!!!
In reply to [email protected]
Aww, man. I might have defended tipping cabbies on the grounds that I actually know that a lot of cab companies lease the cabs for the day/night, and so don’t officially employ the cabbies who need to make up the cost of the lease in fairs just to break even for the day (since these cabbies aren’t employees, there is no requirement to pay them).
But you don’t even take the time to articulate your argument with even halfway decent grammar, and you posted your email for everyone to see. It’s really not helping your case.
In reply to Jenn
If they can’t take the stress of serving, they sure can’t take the stress of having a real job where you have two months of work due in two weeks.
And it’s still never the customer’s responsibility to pay the restaurant’s employee.
In reply to Jenn
I own a four star restaurant in New York City. Highly skilled culinary school graduates prepare the gastronomical adventure. These people went to college, worked hard to perfect their skills, and take continuing education classes. This is the reason they draw a six-figure salary.
The waiters and waitresses have no skills. Most of them only have GED diplomas. They are the dumbest laziest employees in the restaurant. They are immature and unreliable. No matter the restaurant, this is the reason why waiters and waitresses have such a high turnover rate.
Anytime a waiter or waitress talks to me about the skills they believe they possess, I burst out laughing. I tell them they are nothing more than a living iPad to take down the order. A living wine bottle opener, and a trained dog to fetch the food from the kitchen. Being unskilled and easily replaceable is the only skill they have. Still not a skill but they get the message.
On the bill I never add tip suggestions. I feel this is low class and vulgar. I also have the waitress bring a chip reader to the table with the bill. This way the customer can pay the bill when they’re ready, and will never have to wait for the waitress to come back. I can eliminate two waitresses with the table chip readers. It makes for a more efficient restaurant operation, and a better faster bill paying experience for the customer.
The waiter and waitress is the weakest link of a restaurant. The more you can eliminate them from restaurant operations, the more reliable and better the experience will be for all.
In reply to Steigerwald
Let me know what restaurant you own, and I will be sure to stay away and let my friends know not to spend their money with you. What an asshole you are . . . .My parents owned a high end Italian restaurant for 33 years, paid their staff well, no staff turnover, and packed their restaurant every night. I am college educated, own my own business, but worked as a server and made outstanding tips in addition to a great salary. I pity your staff.
In reply to Janna Jay
You are so stupid. I pay my staff well. Waiters and waitresses make minimum-wage. They are overpaid.
Wow!! Yall are some truly hateful people!
There are some professions where an expected tip should be given. Some of them are laborious in their efforts to gain more income, like nail technicians.
In reply to Leslie
They are already paid for doing your nails. Tipping is a waste of money and unnecessary.
In reply to Leslie
I would never tip you for doing my nails. You are paid by your employer to do that job. Get a better job if you don’t like the pay.
Lol, you wouldn’t have to worry about me “expecting” a tip from you because I wouldn’t be serving you. What an ass hole.
In reply to Sharon Moreno
You are an asshole for expecting a tip. Grow up the world doesn’t owe you anything. You sound like a spoiled child who feels they are entitled to a reward for doing their job. If you refused to serve me, you would be looking for a job the next day. You would not be the first person I had terminated for insolence.
In reply to Betty
LOL, that’s a scary proposition. You might terminate me? And just an FYI, I’m not a waitress. A spoiled child? This just gets better and better. Low life’s who try to get attention with the “shock factor”, like yourself, are beneath the level of deserving respect of any kind. But thanks for the laughs.
In reply to Sharon
Terminate is another word for being fired. I am only telling you this because you were simple and stupid. There is no shock factor involved, except for you being able to read.
I am a waitress.. I was a correction officer and am waitressing now to also take care of my granny. Anyhow…. I think tips should only be given if the customer wants to tip not because they have to. However, we live in the u.s where waiters and waitresses are paid $2 an hour. And I agree, where you may not be one for conversation many people enjoy it, especially older lonely people, just got to feel out your customer.And where some waiters or waitresses nay be acting phoney and act like your friend usually its just being friendly.
In reply to Jennifer
http://webapps.dol.gov/elaws/faq/esa/flsa/002.htm
If you make 2 dollars an hour. Federal law says your gross wages, with or without tips have to equal federal minimum-wage.
You are either incredibly stupid, , a liar, or retarded. You may be a combination of all three. When people go out to eat, we want food, not to speak to the hired help.
The civil service exam for correction officer must be very easy. You are pretty stupid, and somehow you managed to pass it.
In reply to Betty
I’m not saying I do this, but A LOT of people like to talk to the staff when they go out to eat. How do I know this? Because they start the small talk themselves and keep it going under they’re own willpower, it may not be the main reason the go. But it’s definitely part of the experience. Pretty stupid to think that nobody wants to talk to the staff. Even when I was working retail as a cashier, some people would get mad and complain to my manager if I wouldn’t make small talk with them. Idk why me not making small talk would piss them of so bad but it does. So to say that people don’t like to talk to the staff is extremely ignorant.
In reply to Me
I order slaves around. I do not have personal conversations with them or tip. Get me my food and shut up
In reply to Me
The hired help should not speak unless spoken to. It is beneath me to have a conversation with the help. Also I never tip.
Tipping is a product of poor wages … the matter should be taken up with the US wage structure, as the MacDonalds, etc, staff are doing. Don’t blame the non-tippers, blame the bosses! Many countries have been able to make tipping a real compliment to the staff … a friendly gesture … If you want the fees the tips represent, lobby for decent wages based on increased prices.
Automatic need for tips is a disgrace … workers deserve a guaranteed wage for their time, not have to beg or cajole an extra bit from the people they are paid poorly to serve. Tipping can be very lucrative for the able, and I get that, but many of those working in areas where tips have become the difference between getting by, and not, are not those able to put themselves forward in a way that will generate a tip.
In some states the employer is allowed to reduce the hourly rate of workers who get over a certain amount of tips.
Those restaurants that have moved to a better pay scale, and doing away with tipping are doing very well.
In reply to Paul
They do have a guaranteed wage. By Federal law, if they don’t make $7.25/hr with tips, their boss has to make up the difference.
Being unskilled labor, it doesn’t make sense to pay any more than minimum wage.
In reply to Paul
Poor wages is a byproduct of poor education and lack of skills. This is why waitresses – waiters, and all unskilled people are supposed to be poor and suffer through life.
Advanced education and degrees, is rewarded with a six-figure paycheck and the perks of a good life. All through history poor uneducated people serve the rich and educated population. It has always been this way, and will always continue to be this way.
Wealthy and privileged people rule the world. Unskilled people are nothing but piss ants put on this earth to serve us. I will never tip you, because you are not worth extra money and you’ll spend it on drugs and alcohol anyways.
Bhagwad … that’s a dothead name, amirite? Enough said. You are just like every other dothead on the face of the Earth. Cheapest, most loathsome form of life on the planet. I look forward to the day when your race perishes.
In reply to Go Fuck Yourself
Yeah, cause racists are the best examples of humanity in the world.
In reply to Go Fuck Yourself
You are just a jealous poor waiter. You’re jealous because as you so rudely put it Indians have more money and education than you will ever have.
You are jealous because you waited on Indians and they could afford a very expensive meal and you can’t. You have nobody to blame but yourself servant boy.
They are not cheap, they have money because they are not foolish wasting it by tipping your worthless ass.
In reply to Don
A lot of people are on their feet all day. Cashiers, for example. Do you tip them?
In reply to What a joke
You must’ve misunderstood what I wrote, because I think tipping is a waste of money and should be earned, not given. My reply was to the person that was referring to Indians as dot beads. He is jealous of the Indians because they have money and don’t Tip.
In reply to Don
Ah, sorry, I was replying on my phone and must have hit a different reply link on accident.
My reply there was to Tyler Ramirez’s comment of
“This is for everybody who is hating on waiters/waitresses you all are what is wrong with this world! I for one try to tip them if I can and if not I apologize for it because these people are on their feet all day long and they have to put up with assholes like you! Sometimes the tips they get mean the difference between paying their rent or ending up homeless! So everybody can fuck off!!”
This is for everybody who is hating on waiters/waitresses you all are what is wrong with this world! I for one try to tip them if I can and if not I apologize for it because these people are on their feet all day long and they have to put up with assholes like you! Sometimes the tips they get mean the difference between paying their rent or ending up homeless! So everybody can fuck off!!
In reply to Tyler Ramirez
The only reason you think I’m an asshole is because I have money and don’t tip. Tipping you for doing your job is ridiculous. You are paid at least federal minimum-wage which is more than you’re worth. If you don’t make enough money to pay your rent not my problem. You need to get a better job and an education.
As someone who has worked both as a waitress and on a shop floor, waitressing is much, much harder. Don’t pull statements out of your arse if you have no idea what you’re talking about. I live in Ireland, where paying waitresses below minimum wage would never happen (and rightly so), and even I always give an absolute minimum of a 10% tip to a waitress, because I STILL believe they are underpaid for the work they do. If you think you’re too good to leave even a 10% tip, all you are is an entitled prick who has no idea what hard work is.
In reply to Katie
Fist, you clearly don’t understand the difference between “hard work” and “crappy work.” Neither of the jobs you mentioned are “hard” simply because they are crappy. They are defined as unskilled labor.
Second, if anyone accepts a wage they feel is less than the job is worth, that’s on them. Especially if they stay at the job. I am not responsible for their poor choice in job and wage.
Third, you clearly don’t understand what the word “entitled” means. In this context it means, “believing oneself to be inherently deserving of privileges or special treatment.” The thing is, a customer at a restaurant is paying for the service. It’s part of the cost of the food (or else the food would cost less). If there were no customers to serve, there would be no use for servers. They are hired by, and paid by, the restaurant to serve customers. However, there is no requirement to tip. Ever. Many other crappy jobs pay little – even ones equal to that of a server – yet those people don’t get tips. Yet servers believe themselves to be special. That, for some reason, they should be paid money by a person who is in their employer for a job they are already being paid to do, and most of them believe that not only should they get this money for fantastic service, but every single time. This is the definition of entitled.
In reply to Katie
I must be an entitled prick because I don’t think you are worth any extra money or a tip. I’m sure being a waitress in Ireland is hard since you’re drunk off your ass the entire day.
The Internet really is filled with worthless trolls these days, isn’t it?