It never fails to shock me how a tip is demanded in the US. People simply refuse to listen to reason when we (yes, there are others!) tell them that leaving a tip isn’t necessary. Well, I’m hoping for too much here, but if you’re a waiter, here are 5 reasons why I will try my best not to give any money to you and why the reasons for tipping are crappy.
1. You act as if you’re my best friend
Just leave me alone ok? I don’t want to bloody chit chat with you. I want food. FOOD! Get it? It’s a restaurant. I go there to eat. I go because I want either Italian food, Chinese Food or something else which I can’t get in a McDonald’s. So I come to a restaurant to fulfill my cravings for it. I will pay for what I value – food. Not you.
Christ, you offend me – kneeling down next to my table, pretending to like me and chatting as if you’re my best friend when it’s obvious that all you’re after is the tip! I’m not a bloody money bag you know. I will pay the bill which includes the cost of the food, the environment and the salaries of the people involved – nothing more.
The only way to get money out of me that I don’t have to legally pay is by prying it out of my cold dead hands…
Bottom line: I don’t want to know your name, or interact with you for any longer than I have to in order to place my order. As far as I’m concerned, you’re the equivalent of a conveyor belt that brings me my food and a computer into which I input my order. Of course, I won’t be rude. But don’t expect me to interact with you any more than I would with some stranger.
Image Credit: cafemama
2. You don’t get paid enough
And this is my problem how exactly? It’s astonishing that customers are expected to make up for your employer’s cheapness in not paying you a decent wage. Please include the full cost in everyone’s bill thank you very much. I’ll pay it because I have to and the charge is there for me to see.
What’s really funny here is that no one seems to criticize the employers! All criticism is reserved for non tipping customers instead of the owners of the restaurant for not paying a decent wage. Wtf! Could it possibly be because you guys know you can make much more by tips and under report your income to the IRS?
3. You’ll spit in my food if I don’t tip you?
And I’ll shoot your kid if you don’t give me a million dollars. Seriously, am I even hearing this right? You’re actually using the threat of blackmail to make me pay you? Well as long as you’re openly claiming to be a criminal it’s all right I guess.
Fortunately that’s why I prefer buffets. Listen apart from it being illegal, this shows your poor integrity. But if you spit in someone’s food because they didn’t give you money you didn’t earn, then you’re a loser and deserve to be a waiter for the rest of your life.
4. Bringing me my food isn’t worthy of being paid extra
Did you cook it? Did you invent it? No. You picked it up and brought it to me. While it might not be easy, there are plenty of jobs which are much worse – shop floor workers for example. And I’ve been a shop floor manager, so I know. Face it – compared to other jobs, being a waiter is unskilled. You get paid what the market will think your services are worth. You don’t deserve more for your work over and above what your employer should pay you.
5. Money doesn’t grow on trees
I expect you to be grateful and pray for me at night if I tip you 10%. Be happy I gave you anything at all. I worked for the money in my wallet and by giving you some I didn’t have to, I’m doing you a favor. Learn to remember that when people give you something they don’t need to, it’s a favor. You don’t complain that they didn’t give you more!
By the way, the same thing above applies to all professions that demand tips including those on cruise liners.
So now that you understand why I won’t give you money you don’t deserve, stop with the “oh how could you?” attitude. I can. And I will.
Update: Here’s a rebuttal of the many silly justifications for tipping that people have given in the comments section.
Who gives af if these cheap ass mofos dont want to leave a tip! They reserve the right. Continue to treat them right but give them what they pay for , minimum and basic service(like basic cable without the premium channels). Dont give these fuckers nothing extra time or effort! Servers listen, flip your tables fast to get these dirt bags out of your sections so that when your regulars come in, you can commit your time to those who appreciates you as a service. They are the people that respects what you do! Believe me, its more people that dont mind giving for service. Cheap asses look for reasons not to leave tips. These people will: run you to death, complain about the food, blame you for when the food takes to long even when the kitchen is behind, they act impatient, feels as though they should be first, want their meals for free for the smallest inconveniences, and will frequent the same restaurant just to repeat the cycle. So keep the drinks filled, deliver the food hot with the check in hand, drop the check,and get their asses out of the seats before it warm! Keep calm and stay out of the weeds!
In reply to Servers husband
i hate tipping and couldn’t agree with you more. I’m not “cheap” i’m jsut fiscally responsible. I’m sure you guys are like typical Americans–hold debt, interest etc and buy things out of your means. How many of you own computers? How many of you own fancy phones on expensive contracts? How many of you own homes you couldn’t afford? How many of you own cars rather than take public transportation (and no, NY doesn’t count). How many of you own more than 3 pairs of clothes?
In reply to Common Sense
The important thing for you to understand is that Servers, Bartenders, etc. get paid far less than minimum wage. The federal minimum tip wage is $2.15…can you imagine living on that and only that? When you chose to eat out at a restaurant you are accepting the way the business works…you are to leave your server 10%-20%+ (depending on how the server did). I am fiscally responsible as well. So i chose to go out to eat when I am OKAY with dropping up to $20 on a tip. If the server does well I am HAPPY to tip well, if they do poorly I am HAPPY to tip poorly. When you leave a nice tip and are FISCALLY stable to afford going out to eat in general is makes you feel good. Don’t like tipping, don’t go out. You enjoy going out? Remember that you wouldn’t be able to go out to eat if it isn’t for the Servers who keep the restaurant running. They are the guts of the operation, without them it is nothing.
In reply to Katy
They DO make minimum wage. If you don’t get enough tips to compensate for minimum wage, your employer BY LAW has to give you minimum wage. If your employer does not do that, he is a criminal.
BTW, technically the servers have a monopoly in teh restaurant business. Can I file anti-trust laws against the restaurant business? Why don’t I have some competition? Why don’t some restaurants say “don’t worry, only tip us 5%?”
Also, in California, tip/non-tipped employees make the same wages.
Does this mean I don’t have to tip in California?
I’ve asked this SEVERAL times and rarely get a straight answer.
In reply to Common Sense
You are correct, by law employers are required to make up wages due to people like you not tipping, this is rarely done however because not only are people like you far and few between but we claim our own tips at the end of the night. Our hourly wage doesn’t increase, it will remain at 2.13 ( the most common server wage). The reason we make 2.13 an hour is to make enough to pay for taxes. so most of the time even though they made up for our lost wages due to non tippers, the rest of our shifts that week we will have made enough to cover the loss. Also, it is rare for a server to work an 8 hour shift. Diner is served usually between 5-11, servers will be sent home if it is slow, some won’t get great tables… It’s the nature of the game. We choose this profession because it is lucrative, fun, fast paced, hard work, but surprisingly easy money. Great if you are in school (2nd year Drexel University med student here) and only want a job on the weekends. I never get a paycheck, my paychecks are always “void” Because I do indeed claim every dollar I make each night and years where I had made a killing I’ve owed back taxes. That 2.13 does not go very far. Some nights I will walk out with $400, other nights I will walk out with $50. It’s the way it is, so employers rarely ever have to make up wages… It evens out. But I will stress again, we do not pick serving/bartending to make minimum wage. The way restaurants run the way they do revolves around tipping. It’s the custom, it is the way it is. If I wasn’t living off of tips, I would perform my job just the same, however that job sure as hell wouldn’t be in a restaurant. A tip is a “thank you for a great job and outstanding service” if I do a horrible job then by all means stiff me, but if I made sure your experience was perfect, no tip is a huge slap In the face. Contrary to what you believe I do genuinely care and want you to have a fantastic time. Customers are my livelihood and without them and their generosity I would be struggling through med school. I treat everyone the same when they sit down at my table regardless of first impression. I have an older wealthy couple that comes In nearly every Sunday and requests me, we chat, they ask me about school, I ask about their grand kids and at the end they tip me… Well. But dear lord are they difficult and needy.., I thought for sure the first time I served them I was getting stiffed, but I was sweet and patient and courteous and they surprised me. You are not wrong for not tipping, but you’re reasons why leave something to be desired. It comes of as a lack of respect for other people. One shift working in a restaurant would change your mind… Guaranteed. Take care.
In reply to Nicole
then I’d say select a different employer again. Also, here in California, I technically don’t have to tip simply because the wait staff already make minimum.
Service is arbitrary. You might be busting your hump while I”m still unimpressed. How would you feel at the end of the day?
You can genuinely care for me as much as you want, but look, I really don’t feel the need to put out $10 extra as a “thank you.” Courtesy should not be demanded.
In reply to Common Sense
No. We do NOT get compensated minimum wage by our companies! I have served a while and most of the time we don’t get check. Guess why..well bc our $2.15 an hr is taxed by our tips. When you take yourself out to eat you know how it’s supposed to go. Don’t want to tip? Don’t go out to eat. We remember the people that don’t then return to the restaurant. I refuse service or give them crappy service bc I’m too busy making the people happy that will be nice, grateful, and tip. Don’t like it? Don’t go out to ear. Simple. It should be mandatory for everyone to have to be a server for at least 6 months. Maybe then you could understand the complete bullshit we deal with. But until you have actually served the public as a server your opinion will not matter. Just another asshole.
In reply to Common Sense
okay cool, then do not go out to eat, buy it, make, serve it, and clean up after yourself.
In reply to wow
Yeah, except that I don’t like cooking or cleaning up. Wish there was someplace they’d do that for me in exchange for money.
Hmm…
In reply to bhagwad
The money you pay for your food is different from the cost of a server. Your check is paying for the food, the cooks, the establishment your in. The tips are for your service, hence why you tip for good service.
If you consciously know your servers are not getting a pay check, how do you not tip them and still sleep at night?
In reply to wow
Probably the same way I don’t care what walmart cashiers are earning and still manage to sleep. Tomorrow if you found out that walmart cashiers were getting paid low, would you tip them a percent of your grocery bill?
In reply to bhagwad
No, but I would feel bad for them, and not support the store, and take my business elsewhere.
I do agree that servers should get payed more hourly, but they do not. I understand that there are other places to eat, that do not require a server to bring me my food and clean up after me. If I am budgeting my money and do not feel like tipping for service, I would go to one of those places.
Servers serve people to make a living, to get through school, it is just greedy to not pay for their service they provide.
How do you feel about restaurants that add gratuity?
In reply to wow
I don’t mind paying gratuity. I just want to eat, get a bill, pay, and leave. I treat waiters just like walmart cashiers. It doesn’t mean I’m rude or snub them. It just means that they’re not my priority. The food is.
Ultimately what a business decides to pay its employees is their choice negotiated between the employees and the employer. You typically don’t bother about the salaries people who serve you. Nor should you.
In reply to bhagwad
It is just proper restaurant etiquette, I don’t know. I was raised learning the proper amount to tip servers, and I understand what goes on behind the scenes, and what I am tipping for.
Tipping is not a requirement, but it is respect to the person helping you enjoy the meal you want.
In reply to bhagwad
Oh and the fact that you snub of any server who tries to hold a conversation is ignorant. Some people actually like to meet new people, and maybe learn something new, not just for exchange of money. But the fact that you just snub them off only teaches them that some people really have no personality and are self-centered.
In reply to wow
Define “snub”. I’m never impolite. I always smile and thank anyone who helps me – not just servers. But just because I’m not interested in talking to them makes me a snob? Please.
In reply to bhagwad
It’s people like the author of this rubbish who leave me in awe of the stupidity that is allowed to roam free in the streets.
I am a server, not your servant. Part of your eating experience is being waited on. If I do not do a great job, then (and only then) should it reflect in my tip. In my state, I am taxed on 18% of my guest check total. If you stiff me, I have to pay out of MY pocket to serve you food! Quite honestly, handling your used utensils and dirty napkins makes me want to puke. If I go out of my way to make your dining experience pleasurable, you at the very least should make sure it does not cost me money to wait on your self entitled cheapness.
If you cannot afford to tip, you cannot afford to eat out.
I always give my customers the benefit of the doubt, no matter what happens. But, you can bet your life on the fact that if you stiff me once, I will either refuse to wait on you, or add 18% to your check total. (Which, in my establishment, can be done right in the computer system – thankfully)
To the author: Work ONE day as a server and I can promise you that your outlook will not be so ignorant.
In reply to Servers husband
Just read the article, although I understand that it’s not my responsibility if the employer is paying less and I have to pay to compensate for that; However God is kind to me and I have enough that I can pay 15% regardless of the service that I happily pay, if service is better the % goes to 20-25%.
if my ethnicity is concerned, I am from Pakistan
Watch out folks, the sense of self entitlement is high with this one. “Just leave me alone, ok?” Believe me, ever server that has ever encountered you wishes they could do just that. What shocks me most about this blurb isn’t your dislike for tipping, it’s your blatant disrespect for other people. Servers are working their asses off to ensure that you have everything you need for a great dining experience. They work hard. They do what they are taught and trained to do. They do things that most of the general public appreciate and recognize as good service. I can imagine it is embarrassing to go out to eat with you. You have an all too obvious sense of superiority. Tipping is your discretion but treating people with respect should be an inherent quality. Congratulations on being a horrid person.
In reply to Kira
What a tool. Wanna bet his nationality is not american…? Huge shocker there. Hilarious. How about this home slice….I wouldn’t take your money…instead ill just kneel down beside you and “chat” all through your meal….to watch you be annoyed but too much of a candyass to do much about it would be a tip enough.
In reply to Erica
erica, how about the restaurant be HONEST about their prices, so I as a consumer don’t need to think and can figure out where I want to eat based on cost/benefit? Just put it all on ONE receipt. I’m NOT legally obliged to pay you in the first place.
I look like a jerk? Sure. Walt Disney was a jerk too, but things worked out fine for him :)
In reply to Common Sense
common sense, don’t go out to eat if you don’t know the right tipping etiquette. There are plenty enough grocery
stores around, which you can do all the work yourself. Also, if you don’t have “time” for that, you can go to a deli type store, where no one is serving and cleaning up after you.
In reply to Nikki
why should I? As an American, I have the freedom to go to restaurants and NOT tip. It is my right to do so. I’m not legally obliged to tip.
How about we invent a service where food is cooked for you and served to you while you pay wht is on a specific receipt? O wait…
to put the blame on the employer is ignorant. the reason we are paid so low is to keep the cost to the customer down. because we work for tips your burger doesn’t cost 20$. and though we dont cook the food we still tip out a percentage of our sales to give to the hosts, bartenders, assistents, bussboys, ect. you, sir, are the reason why serving tables is a horrible job. if you would do us all a favor and tell us at the beginning of your future dinning experiances that you don’t tip and you will see what you really are paying for.
to be served properly costs money. if you cannot afford to dine somewhere better than mcdonalds then you should stick to mcdonalds
In reply to shawn
Right on shawn and kira
This is simply just the way it is. You go out for a bite to eat or a drink and you tip. The way it is. You have chosen to not tip and that is your right, but may i suggest a little experiment (if you can afford it of course) go to a 5 star restaurant in your city, watch everything… From the time your seated until you sign the bill. Watch all the steps of service, plate changes, water refills, check ups, 2nd round of drinks, explanation of dishes as they are dropped off at your table, not feeling rushed. Every person who came to your table (buzzer, server, food runner, sommelier if you ordered wine ) and the bartender who made your drinks is working for the tip you are going to leave as it gets split in certain percentages amongst everyone . If you start paying Higher hourly rates that amazing service you jus received will drop substantially. why? not because people wont care, because all the people you just saw will probably no longer work there. we choose this industry because it is lucrative and most who hve moved up to the world of fine dining and high volume bar/ club bartending have made a career out of it. isn’t a scam, it’s genuine people giving great service, to people who are there to have a great time. Once you’re done this meal at this place ad everything was great, leave a 30% or more and hang around a few minutes, I guarantee the server will come over one more time and thank you. We appreciate it. Trust me. I serve hundreds a people a night in my bar, of course I can’t remember all their faces. The people whose faces I do remember? The ones the tip generously and the ones that stiff us. We also go around and make sure the other 4 bartenders know about it. So we know who to serve promptly and who can hang around a few minutes.
In reply to Genevieve
How about this experiment: Go to a high end hospital, say Cedars Sinai or somewhere in New York. Have two people go, one who will tip and one who won’t. Both will receive care either way.
You work to work, that is it.
Watch the service of the nurses, LVN’s, CNA’s, the MD’s, etc.
It isn’t a scam, its genuine people giving great service…TO SAVE YOUR LIFE.
In reply to Common Sense
Oh stop silly. My fiancé has just finished his 5 year residency and shall soon be on his way to the wonderful world of emergency medicine. Clearly you work in a hospital, doing what? I’m not sure. Your comparisons and arguments are completely idiotic and has nothing to do with tipping when you go out. Different worlds. Oh, yes, my fiancé is a doctor but before that, during his years in university, he was a server…who worked for tips… Who fell in love a bartender… Who stil is a bartender. Just stop.
In reply to Genevieve
In triage–for a while then wound up in research. Good for your fiance. Anywho, why stop? Isn’t work work? I mean isn’t digging ditches still work? Isn’t working at Best Buy still work? ALL jobs are difficult in one way or another. It is called work. I never said bartending is different, but why should I tip you and as an EMT, I don’t receive any tips? I’m saving your life.
Work is work is work. Bartending is difficult, Being a best buy clerk is difficult, being a lawyer is difficult, its ALL work.
In reply to Common Sense
Yes, but your paying a hell of a lot more with or with out insurance to pay for the service. Obviously you would not tip them on top of how much you already put out.
lol you make me laugh
In reply to Nikki
doesn’t matter what you are paying, its still a service. A job is a job, right?
How about you buy a USB cable at Best buy and tip the cashier 10% of the final bill?
If I see you you’re getting crappy service. Yeah I might spit in your food as well. Most people would disagree with your whole approach to this. You are a douche bag. No one likes you. As soon as us Americans hear that fucking stupid British accent we think to ourselves, “oh shit here we go again.” You people get so predictable. You think a cheers and a thank you is enough? You’re a piece of shit. If I see you in my station you will end up getting ill. Try me asswipe.
In reply to John Hansen
are you acting like a jerk at a hospital? Maybe somebody at the hospital spit in your hospital food. O thats right, all other jobs don’t require tips. Instead, people DO THEIR JOBS as mandated.
In reply to Common Sense
Common Sense, the answer to that question you’ve been asking for months now, here’s your answer. Tip whatever you want. 10% 5% 1% 0.001% 90% 100% 500% , whatever you think your server deserves. Of course, set your own median if you’d like. The point is to tip. I personally don’t care what percentage or amount you tip. As long as you do so according to how you think your service was.
In reply to Jacke
But isn’t service arbitrary? You might think you are doing a swell job, but I might think you are doing a crappy job. How do you gauge service? There isn’t a static way to measure service. It isn’t like measuring barometric pressure, right?
In reply to Common Sense
You determine the median. What do you consider poor service? What do you consider average service? What do you consider good or great service? Create your own gauge. The average tip for a delivery driver is $3, regardless of total. But that’s taking in the average of all tips received. It does not mean you have to tip $3.
In reply to Jake
I consider average service to be the waiter kneeling down and massage/wash my feet before I eat. I will tip 15% if h/she does that. 10%, maybe just a hand massage. Anything less than that, I will tip around 5%.
I determined the median. Like I said, arbitrary, right?
In reply to Western point of view
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Well I agree with the above.
In reply to Western point of view
You and common sense are the same person. Common sense said arbitrary…you are new, yet you said “like I said” as if you had commented before, which you have not. By the way, what you said was ludicrous. Servers don’t massage feet period. A massage therapist does.
I was offering a very reasonable opinion. You then take it way too off base and insult me with your ignorant and borderline retarded statement. Try to stay within the realm of sanity and dare I say, the land of common sense. By the way, 5% sounds reasonable to me. Sounds like a median point, actually. But are you sure you don’t want to tip pi%?
In reply to Jacob
I like the pi% thing. It goes to show how arbitrary the system is.
Yea i guess my western point of view user came up first, ah well. I like to keep anonymity, and I’ve been discussing on two different boards because pro-tip people can be scary, but ah well like i said.
ANywho, I stand by it. You asked what defines good service, I’d say a good foot massage.
See how arbitrary that is? I’m not by ANY means trying to insult you. I understand where you are coming from. But at times, even 5% is too much. I mean why do I need to tip $5? I mean who says that? Courtesy? Please, this is business we are talking about, not the “pleasantries” of being nice.
In reply to Common Sense
Yes but does any restaurant server do this, anywhere? No. And if they did, I’m sure they’d be fired for doing something inappropriate. Because that is inappropriate in a restaurant setting, period.
In reply to Common Sense
To answer your question. That is arbitrary, on the extreme side. Because there is no reasonable reason and it has absolutely no point but to be arbitrary. Give me a better example.
In reply to Jacob
But this is how they do things elsewhere in some restaurants, so why can’t I expect that here if I were to tip 15-20%? I mean if its a $50 meal, that’s $10 extra. That’s a lot of money.
i really think that is an excellent example.
Isn’t it appropriate for people to be DEMANDED to give additional sums of money even if not required to do so?
In reply to Common Sense
I don’t remember a time that a server demanded a tip from me. Also, what restaurant gives massages?
In reply to Common Sense
Also, why are you still on about 10% to 15%? I thought we covered percentages or tip amounts already. You see, your problem is that you are a broken record. You’re unable to move on, no answer is good enough for you. If you’re going to debate, there comes a point, if you’re good at debating, where the subject evolves to something else or you move on to something else after proving your point. You don’t have a point. We addressed the issue, but you keep revisiting it expecting a different answer. Do you know what the definition of insanity is?
I don’t know which is worse: you, or the fact that you actually took the time to recognize, outline, and post something of such inconsequential, self-centered drivel.
Please don’t ever come to any of my restaurants or bars. Superficially, you would probably ruin the vibe cause your ugly and fat. But as I think about it, a lot of my favorite people are ugly and fat. I take that back. It’s your moronic and entitled smirk(I bet you don’t have two Penny’s to rub together, by the way) and your even more moronic, materialistic, douchebag world view that secure you a lifetime ban from any establishment I happen to be affiliated with. And yes I know who you are, and will make sure all my colleagues and friends across the pond read your mission statement on why you shouldn’t have to tip. Sew the wind, reap the whirlwind my friend.
snub (snb)
tr.v. snubbed, snub·bing, snubs
1. To ignore or behave coldly toward; slight.
Yeah sorry, kind of does.
In reply to wow
So who says I ignore them or behave coldly towards them? It’s not as if they talk to me and I don’t respond politely.
In reply to bhagwad
touche
just by the anger behind your post, it seems as if you would be.
In reply to wow
There’s a way to let people know you’re not interested in talking to them without being impolite. If they have any sensitivity, they’ll take the hint and back off without being offended.
In reply to bhagwad
I agree with you. i have been to chinese resteraunts and they demand a tip ant the service was shitty.
to those that say a burger would cost $20 without tip lets do some math
A burger right no is $10. With tip it comes out to $2 +$10=12.
Now if you INCLUDE the standard 20% tip in the food prices, wouldn’t the food prices simply go up 20%? Wouldn’t that mean the price simply would increase from $10 to $12 without the tip?
$10 is already highly marked up. I worked in food manufacturing and trust me, food at restaurants is marked up 400-500%.
wow…you sound like a total dick. comparing human beings to conveyor belts? i get the sense that you don’t have many friends…
I bet he’s from India. They are the worst in the world for tipping. There are things I enjoy from every culture and every group of people but as far as I’m concerned everyone from India can go back to India. Just leave the Curry here. lol They run you for everything. Ask 5000 questions about every menu item that should be pretty obvious. Yes the hamburger is beef. WTF did you think a hamburger was going to be made of?