Indians love to abuse their country. However, there is a particular type of NRI whose entire self worth is linked to having “escaped” from the hell hole of India. These obnoxious individuals will go out of their way to pick out the very worst of every aspect of our nation and completely deny any redeeming features whatsoever.
A few days ago, my wife ran into one of these characters on her profile at travbuddy.com. Some desi staying in San Fransisco took umbrage at her wanting to visit Delhi. Without any warning or provocation, he began attacking her choice. Here is how it went (reproduced with all spelling and grammar mistakes in tact :)
Jasvirjr says:Well Anpa you might have reason to visit to New Delhi but It can’t be nobody’s dream destination. A polluted, unorganized, overcrowded city.
Jesse
San Francisco
USA
Notice two interesting phenomena pertaining to our combative NRI friend.
- Name changed from “Jasvir” to “Jesse” in the signature even though he’s talking to an Indian who knows how to pronounce his name
- Proud disclosure of his location in the US. This is no automated signature – he’s made damn sure everyone knows where he is.
Anupa’s Reply:
anupa_rk says:Jesse, every city has its charm. As does New Delhi. You may have your own reasons to dislike it, but I bet you’ll find that several people love it, look forward to visiting it, and even call it home :). In my experience it is usually Indians who undermine India and its charms. I dont think you would have made this comment of a city like Rome which is also considered to be unorganised and overcrowded!
Lets be fair travelers here! :) Peace!!
Reply:
Jasvirjr says:Well you can’t deny the truth or facts I dont’ know how would you compare Rome with Delhi. Let us acknowledge that we have poor infrastructure, chaois rules virtually all roads in India. I am sorry I can’t admire something that does not meet an ordinary persons expectations. Why would I make this comment city like Rome because we don’t have same experience when we are in Rome Vs. Delhi. There are other cities worse than Delhi but at this point my opinion is about Delhi only. And IGI is nothing more than a run down bus stand where chaois rules 24/7. I am not undermining Delhi because I am Indian but based on facts and our grueling experience everytime we land there.
At this point, wifey gets pissed:
anupa_rk says:Its all a matter of perception, isnt it?!
I for one, love the chaos and confusion of India. I greatly prefer it over the ultra sanitised and pedestrain unfriendly streets of the suburbs of the US.
And oh, while we’re at it, I love the chaotic traffic too.. esp with the stray dogs and cows thrown in!!! :DWhich is why I choose to live in India!
I understand that you may have had bad experiences, but its slightly inappropriate to attack a person’s home country on their profile, dont you think?
No reply this time!
So there we have it. A prime sample of people whose only claim to fame is that they’ve moved to phoren land. Of course, the facade doesn’t fool anyone and is easily seen through. A massive inferiority complex underlies people like this because at the end of the day, they know who they are and where they came from. And they’ll always remain Indians :)
Gotta feel sorry for them really.
And yet these NRIs stick to their roots…I'm sure this Jesse eats only mattar paneer when he goes out and watches only Bollywood movies…
In reply to Sraboney Ghose
I agree with Sraboney. These are the confused NRIs who also associate every old dogma with their cultural roo
Good one. And I totally agree with you. I have been staying in the US for the last couple of years. I have observed that people who are here for a long time (generally 20 plus years) have such an attitude towards India. They have not seen the progress of India (post 1991 firsthand) and hence they think that India is the same backward country that it was till the 80s. Also NRIs used to be treated as VIPs amongst families and friends earlier. Now with almost every family having someone abroad, nobody gives a damn for them in India. Hence the discontent and distance from reality.
In reply to Anup
You're probably right about those guys who have left India a long time ago. But this guy for example clearly keeps coming back to India regularly – he's said so in his reply. So in this case, he's not ignorant of India's reality.
Still he goes out of his way to bash India. And like Sraboney said above, he probably sticks to his Indian culture at the same time.
This post, I mean Jesse akka Jasvir paaji/painji's contribution here made my blood boil, I am from Delhi I agree not all is rosy with the city, but its a great, vibrant, hustling, bustling city. I agree with Anup, its the older that in most cases like to present such a hopeless case, many years ago my husband on his 3 months stay in US visited his cousins in a big city in US only to be asked by the charming lady -"I don't understand how you guys live there ?" excuse me isn't it pretty obvious just like your parents and you did once upon a time. No big deal in staying abroad, I'm in Dublin since 2.5 years now, but still miss my country like ……well :(
In reply to Deepa
I think some of us Indians are still under the “phirang” spell. Going abroad for these people means they've risen up in life :)
Well, can't do anything about them apart from trying to make them look foolish – but that can be fun when you succeed!
Hey you brought me here from timesofIndia.
Yes the NRIs ( some of them I think ) are so confused. When I went to Singapore last year and was staying in a fairly decent hotel, the Indian staff never seemed happy to serve me and wifey. Don't know why it is so or maybe I am overthinking, but you can feel it sometimes you know . Maybe they did not take a look at what the country was before they decided to leave and things are turning better in India.
Back in USA I had fair shares of each sides. There were some people who hated India to the core, some who longed for the comfort of Indian life ( they don't know it is now as stressful as anywhere else ), the people pained by leaving families behind, the people pained by totally Americanized kids.
I dont want to stereotype people but my colleagues and I were staying at different places and we experienced our shares of all kinds of NRIs .There were some who cared for things back home, excited about the huge economic power we are growing up to be and there was one from NewJersey who came to Bangalore and called Koramangala a great place ( it is trust me ) .
So you would be surprised my change of tone but I want to tell you what I saw as it is. Though I would agree some of them are extremely annoying so that you wanna kick them and then you realize they are older than you are and according to our country disrespect of elders is a bad thing .
Have a great day.
A
In reply to a
Hi, thanks for stopping by!
I guess you're right about there being many different types of NRIs. It's just that the India haters jar me to such an extent that they stand out more than the others :)
Well I think you missed another new breed of India haters. These are the ones who will comment on any topic about corruption in India. See the 2G scam comments on any site and you would have these self righteous angry NRIs talking about how everything is so bad. I agree things are not ideal, I agree there is corruption and many problems, but I hate the idea of people who left a place saying it doesn’t suit them, but don’t actually move on from there. To my mind some of these types are justfying why they left and why they are better off because of it. You know sometimes when you want to validate your own choices you belittle the others? I feel that is at work. At other times its the holier than thou thing, its about showing you that they are so much better and that you are still rotting in hell, ha.
In reply to Cilla
Welcome to the blog Cilla :) I think you’ve hit the nail on the head. There’s really very little difference between the self righteous corruption hating Indian NRI and the type of NRI I’ve outlined in my post.
Leaving a place and not “moving on” seems to be pretty common. And perhaps not just leaving physically, but even perhaps wrt relationships etc…
very nice article….
these people know that they paid a huge price to leave their home country and go to the ‘phoren’land.now they are pissed cos they know that their home country is also developing rapidly and they feel like idiots going through all that trouble to get out of it.Even there,they are still not completely accepted by the society and they have got stuck between not being completely Indian or American.thus some way for them to show their frustration on their bad decision.
Just saw this post from the comments. I have nothing to add to the main point here about India-bashing but I think things need perspective. I just got back from a visit to the US and remembered anew what several of my friends settled there have told me:
that they are pretty okay even if not exactly happy with paying taxes in the US.
They feel they are getting it back in the roads there , the urban civic environment and the public education which ranges very decent to pretty good considering its almost free(?!!)
Somebody upstairs mentioned the 2G scam. Count the zeroes in those numbers, 2G , CWG and others whenever you want to know where our taxes are going, in India :-( Do I lose the right to criticize this if I leave India?
thanks,
Jai
In reply to Jai_C
No, you don’t lose the right to criticize India. But I’m sure you know about the gap between criticism and persistent bashing as exemplified by the guy’s remarks in the post :)
Hi
I completely agree with your views. I m myself an NRI in Switzerland and see more phirangs appreciate India than us, Indians.
Just 1 question, how can I link your article on my Facebook wall? I would want all fellow NRI’s to read your article as well and do some introspection….
Regards
Rajat
In reply to Rajat
Hey Rajat,
Just copy past this page’s URL in your Facebook status update :)
This article struck the right chord! I am tempted to share my own experience here which is even worse.
I have a brother- sister cousin duo who shifted to New York and San Francisco respectively 10 years back for higher studies. They, like myself, are in their late twenties and unmarried. I being based in Delhi, have to bear with extremely negative and rebellious views based on Delhi bashing, India bashing and Indians bashing whenever they visit Delhi, even if it is for 10 days in a year!
From my dressing sense, to lack of safety, to unhealthy, oily Indian food, to traffic sense, to people’s unhygienic habits, to corruption, to conservatism in culture and even ‘pathetic serials’ on television!..every such thing is picked and pinpointed in every 5 minutes of their conversation in the day (really every 5 mins., no exaggeration!)
They have even tried to convince me that to live a life of freedom & respect, I should try to shift base to US or Europe as India is restrictive, conservative and corrupt! (my cousin sister didn’t hesitate to put a ‘100 reasons to leave India’ article as my desktop wallpaper while she visited me last time!!) For only by doing so, I will get what I deserve, which reads “company of better, refined & sophisticated people, healthy food habits, safety for women, good dating culture and a progressive environment”!
Though its extremely saddening and repulsive to have a constant nagging buzz on my head against the very place I live in and I ‘choose’ to live in..but to maintain the dignity of the relation and my inability to falsify the flaws in Indian system being pin-pointed, I feel helpless, saddened and insulted.
To ‘liberate me from my unjustified faith’ in the people and place I live in, they have even suggested that I should strictly consider NOT marrying an Indian guy! As per their argument, Indian guys are groomed to be male chauvinists and narrow-minded as opposed to a westerner and I will do great injustice to myself if I marry an Indian male living in India!
Its a tiresome and self-depreciating struggle with them, for defending my choice of liking my own country. Saddens me to no end.
In reply to sonal
The world has no shortage of jerks :)