When a 22 year old girl committed suicide recently, the police found that her boyfriend broke up with her on Facebook and that she had specifically mentioned this as the cause of her death. The girl’s father has lodged a case against the guy who now faces 7 years in jail for “abetment to suicide.”
But isn’t there something fundamentally wrong with this? Recently we’ve seen more and more cases of people being charged with the crime of “abetment to suicide” in situations just like this. The most famous case of course is the Rathore-Ruchika case where she killed herself due to extreme provocation and harassment.
Now all cases are not the same. There are indeed extreme situations like the Rathore one, but at what point do we stop blaming other people for someone else’s suicide? Shouldn’t we all take responsibility for what we do? In the recent case, a guy dumping his girlfriend on Facebook neither wanted her to commit suicide, nor did he help her to. Sure, he behaved like an asshole and a jerk. For that he should be ridiculed…but charged with a crime? If being impolite and insensitive is a criminal offence then we’d all be in the dock at sometime or the other. We’re just lucky that no one killed themselves because of it!
This trend of blaming someone else for a person’s actions is pretty common in India. A guy rapes a woman and claims that he was “provoked” by her dress, mannerisms etc. A mob goes on a riot, burning buses and killing people and claims they were “provoked” by the actions of another – not their fault after all. A painter’s exhibits are vandalized and the thugs claim that they were “provoked” by something they’ve probably only heard about.
Now the law has to draw a line somewhere. No one likes being dumped publicly. But most people don’t kill themselves over it. We’ve all had our hearts broken at some time in life. I know I have. I didn’t end my life. I have nothing against the poor girl who did kill herself, but I object to her ex boyfriend taking the rap for her suicide.
Often, we just have to learn to be responsible for our actions without blaming someone else for them. That’s what it means to be an adult.
I agree with you atleast in this case.
Ruchika Girhotra’s case was very different.
Also, some cases related to newly weds dying of burns look more like murder than abetment to suicide. I have known two women who died of burns and in both the cases they did fear for their safety – I have blogged about one of them, they asked to be allowed to walk out of their marriages, but were forced to go back.
Sweety’s case was another case where the man, Smartu and his family did push her to take her own life.
In reply to indianhomemaker
I think we can have the crime of “torture” being applied to cases like Ruchika and the cases you’ve mentioned. Let’s keep the “abetment to suicide” law for those who actively help a person take their own life – as I’m sure was the original intention.
Tell me about it!! Dumb girl really. People call their ex bitches on facebook and this girl, ha! such a waste of life.
In reply to Chintan
I don’t think it helps to make light of suicide by calling someone dumb. Perhaps she has some underlying psychological issues we don’t know. But the bottom line is she needed help in dealing with heartbreak and didn’t get it in the right time.
In reply to Change
Agreed. We can’t call somewhat mentally unstable people “dumb”.
No.
The boyfriend (ex) can only be accused of being a jerk, that’s all…
Also, why would a young girl who had everything going for her want to take own life because she was upset and embarrassed? Beats me…
In reply to Sraboney
Agreed.
I guess even in Ruchika case and the other cases of dowry deaths, the crimes could be prosecuted under torture and the fact that the victim was pushed to suicide as a result of the torture be taken into account. In this case, one would have to know more about the backstory to know whether his actions could be taken to amount to torture (his FB cruelty could be the last of a long list of cruel acts, I’m sure it was not just this one thing that pushed her over the edge).
In reply to The Bride
I think I agree with The Bride.
That is ridiculous!
I am not even sure that the guy can be accused of being a jerk with out knowing how he broke up with her. Everyone has the freedom to break up. And when your relationship status in facebook goes from ‘in a relationship with xyz’ to ‘single’ – that qualifies for a break up.
Now, if the guy did anything to disrespect her, I may agree with the jerk part.
Someone involved in this case should have had some kind of sense in using Indian legal system.
Though I would agree with @Bride, that we need to look more carefully into their relationship’s past; but at face value, it does not seem plausible to send her boyfriend behind bars for breaking up in public. Its not done. The guy had no clue about her girl’s extreme feelings. But all this is being said with all respect to what girl’s father would be going through.
In reply to Dev
Agreed – let the police investigate whether or not the boy tortured the girl. But merely breaking up (even in a bad mannered way) should not be considered a crime.
@Park
The article of TOI you’ve mentioned is tear aparted by its readers. Just see the comment sections of it.
Other than ‘changing the faith’ (which is a personal issue and i agree and respect that) do you even know what damage these missonaries are doing? Do you know their tactics of conversion?
btw…just out of curiosity, ofcourse if you don’t mind, are you a convert?
same thing has happened with me…..my bf n i were having troubles and the only reason i was carrying on the relationship was that he may commit suicide but finally he did just 1 and half month ago i cant bear the pain of his loss …….his family didnt blame me but i know in heart they do ..even i think the same the guilt keeps killing me like anything please help me please……was it my fault and and i n he are just 19 years old……….should i also die????
In reply to alisha
You’re not responsible for someone else’s actions.