The upcoming “The Dark Knight Rises” has many movie lovers in hysterics. They can’t seem to stop oohing and aahing over the trailer and singing the praises of the most recent Batman franchise. Amidst all this ruckus, I have to bring some sanity back here.
I’m a rabid Batman fan. Have been for most of my life. I’ve done my duty and run through an obscene number of DC comics and have read all the famous (and not so famous) story arcs in the Bat universe. So you can say that I “get” Batman. I know what he’s all about. Sure, it’s unrealistic in so many ways but it’s an awesome fantasy. A normal human being able to achieve the things he does. It just gives you a high.
But Batman movies? Not so much. I always found that they pretty much suck big time. I respect the character of Batman too much to see him mutilated. Which is why I hate the recent Batman series by Christopher Nolan. What surprises me is that everyone raves about them as if they’re the awesomest movies ever made. Sure, they’re probably better in comparison to the Joel Schumacher version, but that doesn’t make them good. In fact, I find them awful. And here’s why:
Batman’s Appearance – The “Helmet”
I hate Batman’s appearance in Christopher Nolan’s universe. There are so many things wrong with him that I don’t know where to start. He’s not menacing enough. He just looks like a funny guy in a suit. The suit itself is a horrible wreck, looking like a clumsy piece of armor rather than something flexible that can be moved easily in. And before the fans start shouting “It has to be realistic!”, let me assure you that Batman as a concept isn’t very realistic at all. But more on the “realism” aspect later.
He’s not scary. At all. Just look at his “mask”:
That’s a helmet! He doesn’t look in the least bit scary. His mouth and lips are “squeezed” into a gap, making it bunched up. No wonder Bale talks with his lips parted so often! Next up – the eyes. Why, oh WHY can’t Batman movies make the eyes white like they are the comics? Dammit, this guy actually has makeup on his face around his eyes. MAKEUP! It makes me want to cry when I see what Nolan has done to my favorite comic book hero.
For reference, here is how Batman’s cowl should look like:
See the difference? Now that is scary. THAT is a sight I wouldn’t want to see at night swooping down at me. The guy in the first picture? Some loony clown on drugs wearing a costume. Pchaah!
Crappy Armor – Horrible Cape
I don’t even know where to start. I mean look at that suit. It’s a bunch of disjointed pieces fitted together haphazardly. It’s not uniform or elegant. It just looks shoddy. There we go again with that whole “realistic” mantra that Nolan loves to try and inject into this character. Please Nolan huh? Go make movies of Superman or something and leave this guy alone – please.
Batman’s cape has always been part of his effect. And yet it does nothing for him in the movie. It doesn’t even merge in color with the main suit! It’s a deeper shade of black that ruins the “solid” effect of night that is Batman. It breaks the illusion that this is one gigantic bat – almost supernatural. Instead, it tells us that this is just a costume worn by a guy for unknown reasons – since it’s clearly not scary. Here’s a nice shot of the real Batman style:
Let up with the voice huh?
We all know that Bruce Wayne disguises his voice as Batman to make it scary as well as to keep his identity secret. Works great in the Batman animated series, so why can’t Nolan give us a real crackling voice huh? In various media, Batman’s voice has been compared to “stepping on broken bottles”. In some comics, Batman literally uses his voice as a weapon to scare criminals into submission whenever he can.
And once again, Nolan turns Batman’s voice into a joke. You can barely understand squat of what he’s saying. It’s obvious that his voice is fake and put on. And coming from that squished out mouth of his, it just makes you want to puke. Someone needs to tell Nolan’s Batman to shut the fuck up.
The Batmobile
Ok – I get it. You were trying to compensate for the “blue lighted” batmobile in the Joel Schumacher movies. But come on! That’s not a batmobile – that’s a tank! Where’s the “bat” in it? It’s not stylish, it’s not elegant. It doesn’t make a statement. And remember that Batman is all about style. That’s why we really like him so much. More about that in the “realism” section.
Gotham
Gotham city is an integral part of Batman. It provides the setting, the atmosphere and sets the mood of the comics. It’s even called Gotham city for a reason. Because it’s gothic. Nolan’s Gotham is a ghastly departure from what Gotham should be. Where are the soaring cathedrals? Where are the gargoyles? Where is all the goth? He’s just gone and turned Batman’s city into Chicago! What the hell was he thinking?
Here’s is Nolan’s Gotham – aka Chicago:
And this is the “real” Gotham:
Poor Fighting Style and Posture
Everyone knows that Batman is one of the greatest martial artists of the DC universe. He’s the master of hundreds of fighting styles. He’s agile, knows his reach with mathematical precision and conserves the minimum amount of energy and movement while fighting.
And yet, Nolan’s Batman fights like a thug. There’s the scene in a pub which I cringed while watching. He’s like a boxer, even taking up a stance to fit. He looks ridiculous:
Notice by the way, how his cape is of a darker color than the suit. It doesn’t mesh. It breaks the continuity and looks just like just another piece of cloth. Not a part of him. It just looks funny. Here’s how it should look:
Notice how the cape drapes, how it “merges” into the cowl. Also see how Batman covers up his eyes. It makes him look scary instead of just a guy in a suit. Remember how cool Ironman’s mask looks when his eyes light up? Why the hell can’t we have the same thing for the bat?
Fake “Realism” in Nolan’s Movies
I’ve saved the worst for last. Nolan and many of his fans excuse all the above mistakes by saying that this is a “realistic” take on Batman and Gotham. I call bullshit on that claim. Because even as depicted, Batman is horribly unrealistic. You want realistic, get rid of the cape. It hinders you, can get caught on stuff, and you can trip over it. The marginal utility of being able to slow your descent and hide some stuff in it is heavily outweighed by the disadvantages. Even Nightwing has remarked that a cape cramps one’s style too much.
But yet we keep it. We have to keep it. Why? Because it’s about image. Because it makes Batman what he is. It’s about style. It’s about maintaining the atmosphere. Even Nolan can’t get rid of the cape without destroying Batman. Moral of the story – this is a comic book. Style and atmosphere trump realism. And I’m just scraping the surface here. Superman is in Batman’s universe as well! Talk about aliens and unrealistic in the same breath?
Spare me the junk realism please. Give me something that for once stays true to the comics. Two great movies I’ve seen that replicate the mood and the style of their respective comics perfectly are “Watchmen” and “Sin City”.
Can we please have a Batman version of “Sin City” for those of us who appreciate what Batman is really about? We’ll gladly leave the Christopher Nolan’s fans at the altar alone.
Wow man, I realize that you didn’t completely agree with C.N.’s version of the bat, but really? Pieces of armor haphazardly?….. just a tank, no elegance….. I don’t know many people who would like to prance around at night in spandex anymore that aren’t looking to get molested. Now-a-days most would like a bad-ass armored bat-suit to fight crime in. And that “tank” is sick as all hell, totally holds it’s own as a batmobile. To sum it all up, there are definitely fan out there as/and more dedicated as you that completely understand why this article is PURELY opinion, and not fact.
In reply to Lucas Jae
Tell me…if you didn’t know that the tank was from a Batman movie, would you have said “That’s the Batmobile?”. Answer: No.
QED.
In reply to bhagwad
Agree with lucas here. if it was the batmobile shown in the cartoons. it would have been gutted if it runs over small rock.
In reply to bharath
Check out Tim Burton’s Batmobile: http://cache.wists.com/thumbnails/b/bb/bbb5cd12c6016b90f78339dc5f663ab8-orig
Batman is all about style. The Batmobile is a brand statement. You should look at it and go “It’s him!”
In reply to bhagwad
Plz! if you wanna scare Criminals. the Tumbler is much better.
In reply to bharath
batmobile isnt just about “Scarying criminals”. its about style, the the OP said. the comics, batman himself, is all style. nolan completely left out the style element of batman and just went into the “practical” side. but, the character of batman is anything but practical. like the OP said, the cape is impractical but batman still has it, to keep the allusion of a bat. everything batman has typically reflects a bat…..accept nolans. the only bat thing he had was a batarang that he shaped into a bat. but thats it.
In reply to bhagwad
Batman is not all about style once you get past the part about instilling fear in his enemies. Alternately you just don’t appreciate the style of the Tumbler, the petal-like design of the cockpit cover and the way the front tires work without a proper axle. If you want to prefer the vehicle from the movie where Batman shoots at people from his car and airplane, blows up a factory, and even kills a henchmen by throwing him from the height of the bell at the top of Gotham Cathedral, that’s your call.
But there’s still nothing scary about a car that can’t turn at chase speed without the aid of a light pole.
In reply to Nitin
Check out my points about “realism” above.
The reason why every one loves Nolan’s version is because of the fact that, when he made the first movie it was first real attempt to portray the such a complex and brooding character(the previous movies ver a joke). Bat man has to be realistic up to a certain extend, as he is the only superhero who is “Human” and yet chooses to fight crime putting his life in danger(the reason why every 11 year old thinks that it is possible to be batman).That’s what the the movie also shows, he can be hurt,but still go on do do whats necessary.
Agreed that Bale is not a good choice to play the character, still i think he did a good job in the first part.
In reply to bharath
I think Nolan must then get rid of Batman’s cape. It’s not realistic to go around fighting and running in something that can trip you up and can get entangled in all the time.
In reply to bhagwad
Yep. the suit needs improvement!
In reply to bharath
But Batman without the cape is not Batman. The moral of the story is that we HAVE to sacrifice reality when dealing with comic book characters. Anything else is a mutilation.
In reply to bhagwad
I disagree. What about Year One was unrealistic in a movie sense?
You know, I have to say what one of my gripes was with The Dark Knight, when I’m watching a movie I would prefer to not be lectured. I think Chris Nolan treated the audience like they were idiots. I felt at times there was too much monologue-ing going on in the film. I mean, we don’t need to have things explained to us, we know what’s going on, we know how Batman feels we can see it through their acting.
That’s one reason why I prefer Tim Burton’s version, because granted I was only 5 years old when I first saw and didn’t quite understand what was happening, going back and watching it again as an adult, I can tell what Bruce Wayne was thinking and feeling (Micheal Keaton did so well playing him btw) just through his expressions.
In reply to RenKiss
There’s a saying amongst fiction writers – “Show, don’t tell”. The audience doesn’t need a spoon-fed account of what’s happening inside the character’s head. They should figure it out from the actor himself or herself.
I agree with some of your points, but I think you lose focus on others.
I don’t like the Nolan’s movies because they are not true to the character. Batman does not kill, is a detective, is intelligent, finds a way, would not take the blame and retire etc…
The universe Nolan has created I am OK with, because it is fairly realistic.
The cape is not a problem. It would not necessarily get in the way and is useful for gliding and fighting. He has been at it a long time so I’m sure he knows how to use it effectively.
Oh, and Burtons version was atrocious, not least because it had the Joker creating Batman, not the otherway round and had Batman as a spree killer.
In reply to Josh
I recall Nightwing being very frustrated with the cape when he took over Batman’s role. I really doubt if any amount of practice can every overcome that. But hey! I’m not complaining. The cape makes Batman. So I’m totally cool with it being unrealistic.
My point is just that – make Batman unrealistic if you have to. But stay true to the comic books. Or don’t call your hero Batman.
In reply to Josh
In the original Batman comic series (And for a VERY long time) Batman carried a 44. magnum and killed… a lot. It wasn’t until pseudo recently that they started the whole “Batman shalt not kill” thing. Burton even SAID that’s what he was going for was the original Batman motif.
No love for the 1966 Batman? Adam West was so dry, deadpan, and serious while all sorts of ridiculous things were going on around him. I like my Batman movies better when they don’t take themselves seriously. The problem with Shumacher’s films wasn’t the campiness, but rather that the campiness was intended to be taken seriously.
The newer batman movies are a complete joke and waste of time, it just does not feel like batman to me, i love the 1989 movie with Jack Nicholson as Joker. in todays batman he has a tank basically and thats supposed to be the new batmobile, to me that just reaks of ASS! and whats with the stupid voice thing he does , thats tacky, the batsuit is lame looking just everything about this batman is LAME!
Ladies and Gentlemen and children of all ages:
It is only a movie. My expectations for movie is that I be entertained. That is all I want. I don’t over analyze a movie. I don’t look for enlightment on any level. If I want to be enlightened I will read a book or enroll in a class somewhere. If It keeps me thoroughly entertained then I got my pesos worth. Movies portray all kinds of unrealistic nonsense. Who cares? its a movie after all. I like to zone out and watch an entertaining fantasy on the big screen. After the movie is done I come back to the real world and plan for the next outing. While I watch a movie I don’t want to think about work or family or the economy. I just want to be in that dark theater nice and comfortable as I wait for the product to unfold.
In reply to McQuaid
What the hell does that mean? You just like to be entertained? The reason WB even bothers making these movies is because they have a built in fan base, and they have some interest. Why does the Batman franchise have a built in fan base? There are many factors — but for one, it has to do with the fact that the true bat fans love his history and stories, and those instances and conventions that comprise his mythos. Some people ARE enlightened by a GOOD batman comic and story. Because some of the best writers have devoted time and thought to crafting good Batman stories. Saying “It’s just a movie don’t expect deep or enlightening” is a disservice to all those films that are very enlightening and very deep, and also a disservice to those writers who have elevated Batman’s lore — not to mention a slap in the face of those batman fans who might actually feel that WB has betrayed them with a “false” and “unfaithful” batman — compared to the one they know and love!
In reply to McQuaid
That line of argument has no place in a discussion about the merits of film. What it shows is a misunderstanding of what good filmmaking is; at worst it shows a blatant disrespect for genre filmmaking as I can never imagine someone making such a statement about a film dealing with the holocaust, or pick what you consider to be a “serious” topic. Fact is any genre can be used to make films that actually have pertinent things to say about society and all sorts of stuff. To say a movie based on a comic should only be entertaining is the same as confining comic book films to a film ghetto.
Trust me, not all comic books were meant to be just “entertainment”. Books like Moore’s Watchmen had something to say. Even particular story arc’s of Batman had stuff to say and could make you think.
Nothing is wrong with watching movies on an elementary level, and there are plenty of people who do, and plenty of people who will never raise above that level, but for those who do, they should at least have the common decency to stay out of mature conversations and analysis of which they have nothing pertinent to contribute.
dude just Shut the fuck up ….its like u have a problem with the whole world . His series r inspirational n wht everyone wld actually believe on…..all those costumes n tech u hv been pointing all it looks all better in cartoons but in real life he made as good anyone cld. The only problem i found is he changed the complete Batman universe n story… Like by killing 2 face ,Bane, Talia a’gul… too early wherein there were a part of Batmans later life orginally
Nolan created INCEPTION,FOLLOWING which are one of the best film and INCEPTION is very difficult to direct.he done really nice job in it.His story telling style have been very commercial in THE DARK KNIGHT, THE DARK KNIGHT RISES but compare to other super hero movie these movie is very much worth to watch it.I know that there some mistake in it.
But it doesn’t mean that Nolan movies are suck.
These movies were incredible. Nolan’s version took the Batman world character to deeper, more thought provoking levels than any other superhero movies has. Unfortunately for your butthurt, the movie has now crossed the billion dollar club. So despite your personal grips about how Batman didn’t look the way he typically does in your masturbation dreams, the proof is in the numbers.
One of the most impressive things I found was the use of relevant themes about chaos, fear and symbolism. The concepts are not just used as tags to associate characters like most of the other sup movies, but they are explored. Nolan weaves these concepts in his characters and it makes for richer encounters with the audience.
So that leaves me to your argument about the “realism” aspect to the movie. You complain that because the movie pushes a more realistic approach so the cape would not make sense? I can tell you have not stepped in any type of fighting forum because the concepts of fighting used in these movies are the same as our military use today. Distraction/disruption–keeping an opponent off balance–incapacitates. Take a class. The cape lends it hand in distraction and oh yea…he uses it glide onto platforms! Don’t you think that if it didn’t have a real use, Nolan would have disregarded it?
I would give you the fact that this Batman movie set does not lend its hand into Superman but you missed that part that this was Nolan’s take on the Batman Trilogy. Ya know, kinda like how comic writers take pen to other superheroes? He has been a long time fan of the comics, just like you and he did a great job of blending his storytelling with one of the most popular sups in history. This movie set was not supposed to be a franchise point for the DC universe. We will undoubtedly get that eventually and I will also look forward to that TAKE.
You’re bitching about what Batman not being exactly how you see them in comic’s displays how you are speaking from a comic fan boy view. Your article does not have credible take from a cinema standpoint and would have been better titled “Why I didn’t like Chris Nolan’s take on Batman”
In reply to Loki
Why do people assume that money has any correlation to quality. Not saying the Nolan Batman movies aren’t good. As far as Batman, they’re probably the best the character has gotten, but that’s a long way from saying they are anywhere near the best adaptation that can be had. To claim otherwise is getting into fanboyish territory. Nolan is just a director. He’s a very good director, as films like Momento and Inception can attest, but I’d have to agree with the blogger, their are probably other directors who could do an even better job on Batman, and hopefully the next director to take on the mantle will (that is if he isn’t hamstrung into trying to make the next film a prequel of sorts for a Justice League movie).
And btw no where did I see the blogger say that all of Nolan’s films sucked. He was merely talking about his handling of Batman. Read more carefully in the future.