Waiters are understandably upset about why I don’t tip and have given many illogical reasons in support of this ridiculous practice. Here’s a rebuttal of the most common ones.
Bullshit 1: We only Pay for the Food. Service is Extra
The menu price doesn’t include just the cost of preparing the food and paying the chef. It includes the restaurant setting, the tables, the cutlery, the effort and investment that the restaurant owner has put into the dining area. Now guess what? Since I’m paying for it, the restaurant has to give it to me. And how do they accomplish this?
Waiters. Ding ding!
See without waiters, the restaurant has no way of delivering the dining experience to me that I’m paying for. I’m paying for sitting down in a nice place. I’m paying for the air conditioning. I’m paying for the nice tablecloth and for my food to be delivered to me in a reasonable time. The menu price covers all this. Waiters are just the restaurant’s way of bringing me my food. Of fulfilling their part of the contractual obligation.
Bottom line. Servers are not independent contractors. They’re not an “extra” that you have to pay for. By hook or crook, the restaurant needs to deliver the product. Whether they use waiters or conveyor belts (a term that many seem to object to), is not my business. I don’t care. The waiters can just melt into the background and let me enjoy my food in peace. If the menu includes free refills or whatever, then waiters are required to deliver that as well. Why? Because…wait for it….I paid for it!
Bullshit 2: It’s the custom. It’s ‘merica!
Yeah right. You do realize that not all customs are created equal don’t you? Slavery was a “custom” back in the day and so was race and sexual discrimination. Anyone with an ounce of integrity does what they feel is right. There are many harmless customs in the world like bowing instead of shaking hands, or using chopsticks instead of forks etc that are morally neutral. It really makes no difference if you follow them or not.
But tipping? Hell no! It’s not morally neutral. If you get better service because you’re a good tipper, then you’re essentially paying a bribe to servers to get them to do their job properly next time. All customs have a limit. And tipping is such a convenient custom isn’t it? Hell, I wish I had a custom in place for people to just throw money at me.
And just in case someone feels I don’t appreciate the US, there are many great things about this country that I love and I’ve blogged about repeatedly. Freedom of expression, the way Americans show respect to their armed forces, the politeness of people as you walk by on the road, the work culture, the individuality.
I just don’t like tipping. It’s not as if a person has to blindly accept everything in a country without judgment. There are good things. And there are bad things. Just like everywhere else.
Bullshit 3: The cost of food will increase dramatically
Someone needs to do basic math. Increasing the price of food to pay minimum wage to waiters will not double the price of food. Some have even gone so far to claim that it’ll increase 4-5 times. Ridiculous. Totally, utterly ridiculous. Let’s dissect this rubbish.
As an example, I’ll take Chili’s. A waitress at Chili’s was so kind as to comment saying that the price of food at her restaurant will increase by 3 times – $30 for a $10 burger. Using the statistics she herself gave in her comment, there are 12 waiters (at full capacity) who need to be paid minimum wage. That’s $5 extra per hour per waiter making it a net total of $60 per hour that has to be added to the price of food on a full day.
$60/hr? For 12 waiters. That’s it! It’s peanuts. If you assume even that each waiter is serving just four tables. That’s $5 an hour extra they have to make from four tables. Even if we say that each table sits for a massive two hours, the extra paid per table is way less than $5. On the total bill. Worst, worst case scenario.
You know what? Customers won’t even notice. So stop the garbage about the prices of food going up several times to pay minimum wage. It’s utter nonsense. The only reason waiters don’t want this system in place is because they earn a hell of a lot more than than minimum wage using our tips. And they come across as the victims.
Waiters are Struggling Mothers/Students
Look, it’s not as if I don’t have sympathy for those who struggle in life. I just don’t think it’s my problem. And I specially don’t like it being impinged upon me. Generosity is one thing. Having money demanded from you is something totally else. Any tip I give is out of the generosity of my heart and I expect some gratitude for helping those in need. It’s not something I have to do since…refer to Myth 1.
Bottom line: Socially mandated tipping is a scam. I can’t believe how intelligent people have been hoodwinked into it. Probably because they like to come across as “nice” people and feel sorry for servers who hover around looking expectantly. Well, I find that irritating and I won’t buy into it.
First and foremost, why are you being so negative about another culture? The American culture is diverse and beautiful, as is yours. The American culture is corrupted and evil, as is yours.
I waitressed all throughout highschool… so that I could buy myself my own car instead of having my parents pay for it.
I waitressed 7 days a week throughout college… so that I could study abroad in the United Kingdom so that I may be able to LEARN and UNDERSTAND the beauty of another culture. I graduated last year from my University and now own my own business. Many of the skills I utilize today were learned through my restaurant experience. This is not up for debate. This is my truth.
Your vocabulary is incorrect. Nobody is demanding a tip. It is a social standard and, simply put, a suggestion for great service. I always loved being a server because it allowed me to make someone’s day brighter. It allowed me the opportunity to work diligently and hard for the money I earn. Nobody gets “pissed” when they aren’t tipped the full 20%… not everyone deserves it. But you are going into the situation with the intent to not pay for great service if it is given to you… that is your most initial mistake.
I want to apologize on my country’s behalf to you directly if your dining experiences in this country have been sub-par or even maddening and unpleasant. I have had plenty of those experiences in other countries… but I don’t generalize it to the entire culture. It was simply the individual that was serving me.
I also want to apologize on your behalf for being astonishingly ethnocentric. Just because our “standards” and the way our culture operates isn’t what you are used to, there is no need to ever degrade it. When I was in the United Kingdom I thought many of the experiences I had throughout my time there (in restaurants and other scenarios) were strange and weird. But I recognized that it is simply something I am not used to. And although I may never truly understand it, that gives me no right to come into another country and make fun of the way they operate.
You can justify your statements until you are blue in the face. But you, my friend, have lost this battle with your sheer disrespect, disregard, and uneducated mind of cultural competency.
Good luck.
In reply to Sam
Hey, I have no issues with US culture. Where did you get that idea? Is it something I said? Something I wrote? In fact, I think the US is a great place with awesome freedom of expression rights, wonderful people who’re polite, and it has an individualistic culture which I truly admire.
I’ve written about these aspects several times on my blog if you care to search for them. But that doesn’t mean I blindly love everything about the US. Tipping is one example of what I don’t like. Another is the healthcare system. Like any country, it has its good points and bad points.
I don’t know where you got the idea that I’m dissing the US in general. Do I like tipping? No. But what does that matter?
In reply to bhagwad
If you don’t pay someone for their hard work when they are expecting it, whether you agree with it or not, it hurts them. Spread love. If you don’t like the fact that the US tips for services, move, or get involved with government and make a change. That is one of the great things about this country
In reply to Buddah
Why should he, I, or others that believe as we do need to change anything? It doesn’t affect us beyond getting to keep more of our hard earned money. I know I worked harder for what I earned than 90% of the servers that have served me. I was a server for 20 years until I finished school for my career, so I have a pretty good idea of what a majority of servers do.
When the service is great, I tip well. When it is mediocre, I don’t tip at all.
If the service industry workers don’t’ like it THEY CAN WORK TO CHANGE IT
Servers work for generally about 2.13 an hour, you know this, good. if we increased the servers pay to minimum wage, then we would be cutting their pay in about half. At half the pay and all the bullshit, no one would work at a restaurant as a server anymore, and then you would be severely limited to where you could go to eat.
In reply to Logic
@Logic say, “Servers work for generally about 2.13 an hour”. This is absolutely false, also known as a fucking lie. Any server not making at least minimum wage has a valid legal complaint against their employer, not the customers. Tips are always optional. That’s the whole point. In an increasing number of states, tipped employees make minimum wage PLUS tips, not that it should matter to the customers, who can still tip or not tip as they choose.
Bhagwad,
when you don’t tip, what you don’t realize is, is that we as servers are PAYING to be serving you!
why on earth would we want to pay to serve you?
well you see, we have to tip out our bussers, bartenders, etc.
so if you stiff, you are effectively putting us in the hole for having the PLEASURE of serving someone who lets others pay for the service that they enjoyed.
please consider changing your actions
thanks
In reply to Omar
i think he knows that… he’s just new
In reply to Omar
Nobody forced you into indentured servitude. You knew how you would be compensated when you took the job as a tipped employee. You cannot rationally turn around and throw it in the face of someone who simply refuses to buy into your little scam of charging more for service already in the menu prices. Yes, you might get a little extra if you do a little extra. But paying you a percentage of the price of the mene is ridiculous. Did you work any harder because I ordered an expensive meal or two cheaper ones? Was it five times harder to uncork a $100 bottle than a $20 bottle? If you don’t like having to rely upon others to appreciate your individual skills, on a case-by-case basis, then you don’t belong in a part of the industry that interfaces with the public.
Ok. You don’t want to tip us? Don’t want to tip struggling moms, students, (people who could be in the streets begging you for money but instead decided to get an actual job that is HARD and beg for it that way?) of course we get looked at like vultures. Car salesmen do too…I date one. But the thing is, I’ve been a waitress for a long time, and for some reason I still give a shit about every complaining,
Snobby, douchebag that walks in. I always treat people with respect, not because I want a tip, but because I’d want my waitress to be kind to me and to actually give a shit about my food and when my drink comes out. If we didn’t give a shit (there are plenty out there that don’t) your food would be crusty and overlooked because it would sit in the window forever. Your drink would be empty the entire meal, we wouldn’t smile at you, we would walk up to your table and say “yeah, what do ya want?” While we rolled our eyes at everything you said. And when you asked for a milkshake or a Mudslide, we’d tell you, “sorry, no ice cream” because honestly our bartender is busy and they’re going to cuss us out and we don’t feel like dealing with that.
The thing is we ConSTANTly are told to check with our guests and make sure they have the best time and that they’d come back. We’re not trained to do that for a tip. We’re trained to make people comfortable, feel full, and happy when they leave.
I worked three waitressing jobs at one time just because asshats like you go out to eat now. I evaluate my tables, if it’s one person reading a book, I obviously don’t bother them as much. If it’s a group of friends or a family that looks excited or awesome I’ll try to chat with them (not for a tip, but because my fucking job is stressful and it’s nice to talk to people other than grouchy assholes and my co workers).
I worked in Virginia, where a waitress worked for 2.13-2.55 an hour. Hahahaha seruously? Of course I’m pissed that i chose to go into that profession and the wage sucks ass. But if I’m a nice, CARING person, maybe people would consider helping me out. And if not, keep going. Fuck you dude. You have no idea what you’re even talking about, really
In reply to sabby
If you did any of that you’d be instantly fired in my job. I’m a cashier and I’m still expected to be courteous towards customers, even if they are rude to me. I’m also paid a normal wage. The fact is, its your employers fault for not paying you like everyone else. So stop hounding customers and take up your concerns with management.
In reply to Erin
It’s laughable that you would compare being a cashier to waiting tables or bartending.
In reply to Erin
It isn’t up to the employer to pay servers more. Minimum wage for servers is mandated by the govt, idiot. Being paid an hourly wage as a cashier is completely different. You probably shouldn’t comment if you aren’t sure what you’re talking about.
In reply to Jen
Tell me…what prevents an employer from paying waiters more than $2.13/hr? The law only mandates a lower limit. Don’t excuse the cheapness of your employer by pointing to the law.
In reply to bhagwad
Bhagwad,
You have no idea what you are talking about. What servers and bartenders get paid is decided by the government for the most part by the Fair Labor Standards Act. It states that all tipped employees are only required to be paid $2.13 an hour plus their tips because those averaged together should come out to minimim wage. If they claim enough in tips, then the management has to make up the difference. And have you ever tried to work as a server or in a bar? I think it should be a required class because it is not as easy as you think.
In reply to sabby
You act as if there are not people out there with NO job that will not be willing to come work once you and the others like you leave.
Problem is, if we went to minimum wage, you act as if you would move on, but I guarantee you would have already moved on if you could. I know this because it took me 20 years to get out….
I have family who work in restaurants and bars, it’s a hard life, and in this economy it’s even harder. This article is absolutely fucking pathetic, you’re a tightwad and an asshole, that’s the reason you don’t tip. You’re taking away food and support from people who need just because you want to be a tightass, I hope that at every restaurant you go to, the waiter spits in your eye, I’d say to do it in your food, but even a steak has higher placement in the world then scum like you.
In reply to Ari
You’re making his point that you’re simply a money-grubbing socialist who thinks its important for you to take more of my money because I can afford to eat out once in awhile. You’re paid to do what you do. I’m paid to do what I do. Nobody gives me any tip if I do a good job — they simply allow me to continue coming back to do the same good job I would do anyway. Obviously, anyone spitting in the eye or food of a customer would be fired on the spot, if not actually beaten to death. Your little fantasy doesn’t play well in reality.
I don’t think you’re wrong. The restaurants don’t want to pay a fair deal to their servers so that they can actually survive on a fair wage for the work they do.
But your way is no better, either. Everyone in this world is so stingy and greedy, and it’s breaking it for everyone else. I work at a cafe. I make tips. When people don’t tip me for the coffee I made for them, I’m like, well, I made fucking coffee, it’s not a big deal, they don’t need to tip me. The standard where I live is $1 per drink, but I thank people if they tip me a quarter and I mean it, because I know they don’t need to tip me at all. But you know what? When I go out, I tip AT LEAST $1, $2 if I can afford it, and at least 20%, every time, more if I can afford it, at restaurants. I try to make sure I can live on the minimum wage I get paid hourly, and tips I put into savings or to treat myself to a nice meal. I wouldn’t go out at all if I couldn’t afford tip, because I know that the system is built on it, and unfortunately we live in a broken system.
I’m not going to blame you for not tipping. But you’re not a nice guy. You are not compassionate, kind, caring, and obviously not giving. Those are things I take pride in being. Those are things you take pride in not being. I’m sorry we have to live in the same world.
Let’s be honest: You’re just cheap. Rationalize all you want. You don’t want anything coming between you and your duckets, and you will probably make up any excuse to make sure it doesn’t happen. Pretty sad way to go through life if you ask me.
Don’t know where my comment went… but interesting how all of a sudden the article has been edited all of a sudden.
We are listening to you, and you are entitled to your opinion. But instead of saying how “unskilled” these individuals are and how a server is the “equivalent of a conveyor belt,” simply say that you don’t understand it because you are UNFAMILIAR with this particular custom. There are many customs that I don’t understand of other cultures but I don’t say how ridiculous it is. This is the structure of the industry. I understand you may not agree with it, but can you understand how condescending you are coming off to people who work as servers to put food on the table for their family and work their way through school? This IS how it operates here in the US.
Tipping a server and having a serve is not considered “extra” here in the states. It is how we operate. You get paid for a job well done. It is the norm. You also are expected to tip taxi drivers, hairdressers, massage therapists, etc for a JOB WELL DONE. In fact, this is the same in many other countries. Why be critical of one nation?
You’re just an asshole. Period. Have a good life, hope you don’t get aids.