Waiters are understandably upset about why I don’t tip and have given many illogical reasons in support of this ridiculous practice. Here’s a rebuttal of the most common ones.
Bullshit 1: We only Pay for the Food. Service is Extra
The menu price doesn’t include just the cost of preparing the food and paying the chef. It includes the restaurant setting, the tables, the cutlery, the effort and investment that the restaurant owner has put into the dining area. Now guess what? Since I’m paying for it, the restaurant has to give it to me. And how do they accomplish this?
Waiters. Ding ding!
See without waiters, the restaurant has no way of delivering the dining experience to me that I’m paying for. I’m paying for sitting down in a nice place. I’m paying for the air conditioning. I’m paying for the nice tablecloth and for my food to be delivered to me in a reasonable time. The menu price covers all this. Waiters are just the restaurant’s way of bringing me my food. Of fulfilling their part of the contractual obligation.
Bottom line. Servers are not independent contractors. They’re not an “extra” that you have to pay for. By hook or crook, the restaurant needs to deliver the product. Whether they use waiters or conveyor belts (a term that many seem to object to), is not my business. I don’t care. The waiters can just melt into the background and let me enjoy my food in peace. If the menu includes free refills or whatever, then waiters are required to deliver that as well. Why? Because…wait for it….I paid for it!
Bullshit 2: It’s the custom. It’s ‘merica!
Yeah right. You do realize that not all customs are created equal don’t you? Slavery was a “custom” back in the day and so was race and sexual discrimination. Anyone with an ounce of integrity does what they feel is right. There are many harmless customs in the world like bowing instead of shaking hands, or using chopsticks instead of forks etc that are morally neutral. It really makes no difference if you follow them or not.
But tipping? Hell no! It’s not morally neutral. If you get better service because you’re a good tipper, then you’re essentially paying a bribe to servers to get them to do their job properly next time. All customs have a limit. And tipping is such a convenient custom isn’t it? Hell, I wish I had a custom in place for people to just throw money at me.
And just in case someone feels I don’t appreciate the US, there are many great things about this country that I love and I’ve blogged about repeatedly. Freedom of expression, the way Americans show respect to their armed forces, the politeness of people as you walk by on the road, the work culture, the individuality.
I just don’t like tipping. It’s not as if a person has to blindly accept everything in a country without judgment. There are good things. And there are bad things. Just like everywhere else.
Bullshit 3: The cost of food will increase dramatically
Someone needs to do basic math. Increasing the price of food to pay minimum wage to waiters will not double the price of food. Some have even gone so far to claim that it’ll increase 4-5 times. Ridiculous. Totally, utterly ridiculous. Let’s dissect this rubbish.
As an example, I’ll take Chili’s. A waitress at Chili’s was so kind as to comment saying that the price of food at her restaurant will increase by 3 times – $30 for a $10 burger. Using the statistics she herself gave in her comment, there are 12 waiters (at full capacity) who need to be paid minimum wage. That’s $5 extra per hour per waiter making it a net total of $60 per hour that has to be added to the price of food on a full day.
$60/hr? For 12 waiters. That’s it! It’s peanuts. If you assume even that each waiter is serving just four tables. That’s $5 an hour extra they have to make from four tables. Even if we say that each table sits for a massive two hours, the extra paid per table is way less than $5. On the total bill. Worst, worst case scenario.
You know what? Customers won’t even notice. So stop the garbage about the prices of food going up several times to pay minimum wage. It’s utter nonsense. The only reason waiters don’t want this system in place is because they earn a hell of a lot more than than minimum wage using our tips. And they come across as the victims.
Waiters are Struggling Mothers/Students
Look, it’s not as if I don’t have sympathy for those who struggle in life. I just don’t think it’s my problem. And I specially don’t like it being impinged upon me. Generosity is one thing. Having money demanded from you is something totally else. Any tip I give is out of the generosity of my heart and I expect some gratitude for helping those in need. It’s not something I have to do since…refer to Myth 1.
Bottom line: Socially mandated tipping is a scam. I can’t believe how intelligent people have been hoodwinked into it. Probably because they like to come across as “nice” people and feel sorry for servers who hover around looking expectantly. Well, I find that irritating and I won’t buy into it.
I completely understand your argument.
I guess what I’m wondering, is if you go in one day and are being more needy than usual and get good service, would you tip someone from going above and beyond the absolute most basic description of their job? And if you don’t, can you blame a server for somewhat ignoring you and paying attention to other tables way more than yours when you are on repeat visits?
If you come in, order your drink and food, and want nothing more than refills
and for me to set your plate down, no problem. Have your card ready please, no tip needed. Once I set your plate down I will make sure your drink is fine, but have a nice day. If you need something, flag me down. Let me know. But you shouldn’t need anything, right? And I will not check up on you, or make sure everything tastes fine, because yanno, that’s a service you aren’t paying for. Go find the chef.
And ill get back to being financially responsible myself and care about people that pay me.
I would love to see you spend one day in the service industry. I absolutely cannot stand people who criticize and are condescending to others. You honestly have no idea what it takes to be a good server and you have too much time on your hands if you felt it was necessary to write about those who are. It’s obvious that you’re just arrogant and ignorant. Seriously, you’re not going to make an impact on a servers life by not tipping them. Yeah, it’s rude, and that server you stiffed probably had to tip out the host for seating you and the bartender for pouring your beer that you enjoyed. Even though their hard earned money went to you being able to enjoy you’re dinner, they aren’t going to ever think about you again. There are plenty of other people who actually appreciate the service that they receive. So if you feel like tipping isn’t necessary, good for you, you’re entitled to your opinion. So sit down, enjoy your meal and shut up. I personally wouldn’t want your money anyway.
In reply to Kristin
Has anyone noticed that when you order takeout over the phone MOST places have a DELIVERY CHARGE? Do you COMPLAIN about that. When you order a limo or a town car and are informed of the +20% CHARGE, do you complain about that? I DIDNT THINK SO. BOTTOM LINE: IF YOU DONT WANT TO TIP, GO TO A FAST FOOD RESTAURANT AND YOU WONT HAVE TO TIP. When you go to a restaurant it feels good to have someone wait on you hand and foot. It is your chance to be ROYALTY. Dont deny it. IT FEELS GOOD. When you get the check, will it really hurt you to give the server a gratuity? I DIDNT THINK SO. To all the NONTIPPERS out there who say if you want more money then go get a better job, IF YOUVE EVER GONE OUT OF YOUR WAY TO HELP SOMEONE AND YOU FELT CHEATED BECAUSE YOU WERE NOT COMPENSATED LIKE YOU THINK YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN ( MONEY OR OTHERWISE) YOU NOW KNOW WHAT WAITERS, BARTENDERS, BELLMEN ETC FEEL LIKE. Thats all I think a lot of people here are saying. YOU ARE NOT OBLIGATED TO TIP ANYONE, BUT IT WILL SURELY BE APPRECIATED. Try this exercise, GO TO ANY EXCLUSIVE NIGHT CLUB AND SEE HOW MANY PEOPLE GET INTO THE CLUB FASTER WHEN THEY TIP THE BOUNCER.
I was going to lash out, until
I saw your name. I take it you are Indian decent? Not surprised you would be a cheap piece of crap. This is a practice older the. Your or the awful Kerri smell hesitating from your ignorant ass. If you don’t want to tip, get your food to go. Or have the balls to tell the a server you don’t believe in tipping. I’m sure you giggle like the little bitch that you are when you walk out without tipping. I would gladly serve you, I would not spit in your food or do anything nasty to it, if you could
man up and be honest from the start. I would actually appreciate it, that way I could make sure you become my least priority, refill your drinks if and when I get time and bring your check once all of my other tables are not in need of my assistance. I noticed all of your articles are simply designed to offend and stir the pot, soooo creative. I know that makes me a hypocrite for spending time on this comment, but it’s late and bored. I will give you a piece of advise, don’t go back to a restaurant where you stiffed the waiter. You will be rembered and spit….would be the least of your worries. Goodnight and sweet dreams and don’t leave the light on, your Mom hates when you leave the basement…I mean “your apartment” light on.
“It’s not as if I don’t have sympathy for those who struggle in life. It’s just that I have no sympathy for those who struggle in life.”
PS, if you want to go to a “nice, air conditioned place,” part of what you’re paying IS the tip. If you can’t afford the tip, go somewhere that you won’t be waited on. That seems like the logical issue to your problem. No need for all this nonsense. Just stop being waited on.
In reply to Allie
You’re saying the menu price doesn’t cover the ambiance, the cutlery, the tables and whatever? If it does, then the service is merely a way of delivering to me what I’ve already paid for no?
In reply to bhagwad
“then the service is merely a way of delivering to me what I’ve already paid for no?” Not exactly. When you get propane or oil delivered to your home for heat there is a charge ADDED, its a delivery charge…. “but but but the trucks are just the delivery method for the fuel i paid for”, is in essence what you’re saying, and you’re WRONG. What you are basically saying is because you choose to eat at a particular establishment, the cost of the food should cover the cost of the delivery to your table…it doesn’t. You believe other human beings should be waiting on you hand and foot and not be paid for it. You are not royalty and slavery is illegal in the US.
Right, wrong, good, bad, or indifferent, the hourly rates of wait staff are intentionally set low to encourage good service. A waiter is going to work harder to please you if his income is based on how happy you are. If the service sucked… fine, don’t tip. But if you receive good or better service give them what they earned, you cheapskate.
In reply to Rob
Oil is a standardized product and the delivery charges are built into the final bill you receive. The vendor bundles all charges into your bill. You’re not just paying for the oil, but also for the costs of transportation, storage etc. A closer analogy is if after you’ve already bought the oil and paid for it, the store charges you extra to put it into your vehicle.
Menu prices include the ambiance. Now I just have to sit back and receive it.
In reply to bhagwad
Menu prices do not include the ambiance. At all. Nice try.
So is it wrong to not tip your hooker?
Actually, you’re not paying for them to bring the food to you, that is what the tip is for. Same with the refills. You’re paying for the food and the experience, sure, but you’re not even paying me to bus your table if you’re not tipping. In fact, if you’re not tipping, you’re not paying me to do anything for you.
So, on that note, I feel that you can sit, use our silverware, and order food, but you can roll it, put your order in, get your unlimited refills, and get your food yourself. Because no one is paying me to bring you your food since you’re not.
As a follow up, do you tell people up front that you’re not tipping them? Because if it truly were a moral issue to you you would. If it truly is a moral issue and not a being a cheapskate one, you should tell your waiter ahead of time. “By the way, I am morally opposed to tipping.” “By the way, the soda fountain is in the back server station and glasses are in the beige plastic glass holder below it, help yourself you cheap asshole.”
In reply to larysa
“Because no one is paying me to bring you your food since you’re not.”
Try your employer.
It’s absurd to suggest that I’m paying for the food and the ambiance and I have to pay someone extra to give me what I’ve paid for! The restaurant uses you to deliver the experience to me…one that I’ve shelled out cash for.
In reply to bhagwad
No you are paying for the food and the drink, however us bringing you a refill, extra napkins, extra plate, it being on time, or anything of the sort is what is in the tip. If you want good service you have to pay us for our job. You go back in a place you did not tip you will get shitty service because we will remember you. Our hourly is taken away from taxes all that is left is the tip and a lot of that is taken away when we tip out other people or with the taxes. Your tip is the only hourly we get. Sure it is a crappy system but you go to somewhere that uses it, abide by it, or order fast food. We do not necessarily want this job. It is a job and may be the only one somebody can get. What you pay for in the bill is the food, drink, the cook, and dishwasher. Non-fast food service is the tip. If you do not like the system do not use it.
In reply to k
If the refills are part of the restaurant’s promise, then I don’t have to pay you extra to bring me refills. This will obviously vary from restaurant to restaurant. Posh restaurants have higher menu prices and that obviously includes a better experience. As a waiter, you are the restaurant’s way of delivering that service to me. I do not conduct a separate business transaction with you.
The restaurant promises me food in a reasonable amount of time (average), so if you deliberately take longer than usual, you are breaking the restaurant’s contract on their behalf aren’t you?
In reply to k
You won’t remember. No one remembers unless that person comes in 3 or 4 times a week. If your mind was good enough to remember, you’d be smart enough to do something besides wait tables.
In reply to larysa
I am paying for your labor as part of the costs of the food. If you don’t understand that, then go take an introductory Accounting class.
The tip is for EXTRA not the bare minimums you list. What you explained is the exact problem with you bimbos and morons. You think you get the $2.13 per hour to stand and do nothing, and are entitled to extra for not doing anything but the bare minimum you were already paid for.
Geez. Entitlement minded much?
In reply to YOUREwrong
Geez. Incorrectly assuming much?
Many, many servers are only doing so to put themselves through school, due to a sudden life change, or something similar. There are some career servers but their memories ARE that good or they wouldn’t be making enough money to keep doing so. I think bimbos and morons is a bit of an overstatement, unless the only place you ever go to eat is Hooters.
And I do remember the truly shitty tippers. That is because though I have an average memory, I make a point of remember the truly surly and rude and shitty tippers so that if they come in again, I can warn the others I work with.
My question stands: Do any of you saying tipping is a “moral” issue for you tell your servers up front that you won’t be tipping them? After all, if you were against premarital sex wouldn’t you tell your partner before it got that far? Instead of waiting until its happened and they go to the bathroom to clean up, and leaving a note before you slink out the door? Because if you don’t that’s exactly what you’re doing.
I agree 100% with this & the original article. Bravo.
There are places for people like you………They are called grocery stores!!!! You get good food, get to make it yourself, and dont have to interact with “strangers”. 95% of your article does’nt deserve a response, because it’s just pure nonsense…..Idiots like you are why the internet can be bad, giving you a voice makes the world a crappier place.
You’re getting a lot of hate for this and for your original post. However I’d like to say that there is nothing wrong about your points, you have convinced me.
You’re right I shouldn’t have to pay my waiter’s salary, their employer should take care of it. All of these people throwing hate your way are just being sheep following the way things have been for so long and refuse to think about it objectively. Anything outside of the service industry employers are expected to pay their employees. It should never be customers.
Although you’ve convinced me, unfortunately it’s not something that’s going to change anytime soon, because, as you’ve seen, the push back is huge and not many people are smart enough to see that you’re not trying to treat waiters poorly, it’s just that it’s not your responsibility to pay their salaries.
I’m going to keep tipping, despite my change in understanding of the way this should be, it doesn’t change the way it is, but you work hard for your money, as hard as any waiter or waitress despite other people’s claims, though it may be in a different way. What you do with it is your choice.
Restaurants pay wait staff less than minimum wage so they have incentive to provide good service in order to get good tips. That’s why there is a standard gratuity that is expected. It’s not about custom or tradition; it’s about service incentive. If you only want to eat your food in peace, please, go to a buffet where you can get your food yourself and you don’t have a server. If you go to a restaurant with servers, you are expected to tip for quality service.
Honestly, what you’ve given here is reason why servers should just be paid a living wage, and the cost should be added to the food.