I share the shock of millions of people at the outrage committed on this woman in Guwahati. But are any of us really surprised that it happened? Here is why it happened:
1. People don’t believe that women have the right to have fun by themselves without consequences
2. No one wants to interfere. Either because they’re afraid of being beaten up or because the hassle of talking to the police and going to court later is too daunting.
3. The “gang mentality” takes over and people take protection in the safety of the crowd.
But another reason is that women in India are not valued for who they are by themselves. They’re important only in relation to other people, who her relatives are and what friends she has. Here is a typical comment on ToI:
A class XI girl molested by a crowd of violent males, these made me sick to my very core. This girl is someone’s daughter, someone’s sister and maybe someday someone’s mother if she already hasn’t be traumatised never to recover again (god forbid). These men who perpetrated this despicable and sick act have they no sisters at home, no wife, no mothers?? no daughters??
As if a woman who has no parents, no brothers, and no children is by herself without worth! She herself is unimportant while she receives value only by association with the men around her. It’s a well meaning comment no doubt, but betrays part of the mindset that gives rise to such incidents in the first place.
I know that it takes time for people’s mindset to change. That social change is the slowest of all human agencies. That generations have to pass before the poison runs out of potency. I know all this…
And yet acceptance of this reality is so hard. It makes me want to go and form my own country somewhere :(
I am hoping to make enough money in my lifetime to have my own country too.
Hello,
Nice to notice your genuine concern for “value of a woman sans – relations / connections”. The incident is SHAMEFUL in all caps and all those who pontificate or fulminate should hand their heads in utter shame.
Standard promises shall be made; commission shall be in place; there may be hot discussions where political class and so-called thinkers shall blow hot and hotter. But the end result shall be zilch.
There was another item doing rounds on MSM – the Main Stream Media, of the Fatwa in Baghpat that forbids women to go out after 7.00 p.m. without an escort or to use a mobile phone and such like.
What our Aviation Minister Ajit Sigh whom Baghpat elects routinely or the freshly minted UP CM Akhilesh Yadav have to say about it all this?
Golden Silence! And the chauvinists of Baghpat went a step further and challenged the CM to dare do anything about it. And Akhilesh has responded with Golden Silence yet again.
You see…you and I [not-so-large a majority or people with connections or relations] have very limited power or reach or “PROACH” Delhi style “A” silent . ” Nothing is Impossible”, “Brave need not fear”, ” Charity begins from home”…are great sounding homilies in a book.
But should we be truthful… ground realities in India are too dangerous to attempt such brave social service acts or take cudgels in cause. Because, it backfires, since our efforts and intentions have NO “value” sans “relation or a connection”. That’s India… our great India. The India that won Freedom ” Vian Khadga Vina Gham”.
Down with utter shame and helplessness – K R Vaishampayan [alias-KRV]
Well said…
You know, I’ve met a lot of people who proudly say “XYZ is my only son”…Now to me, this means only child…But this is usually not the case…They may have daughters but they don’t mention it…Look at matrimonial columns – ‘Parents of only son looking for bride….Sister married…”
In reply to Sraboney
Then if they have only girls, maybe they don’t consider themselves parents at all!
Agree that mindsets need to change, and that usually occurs on a timeline of generations. A change in thinking is preventive .
However, the penal code makes no allowances for mindsets. A crime that is well defined has occured, and the perps need to be punished. A strong judiciary can effectively send out a loud and clear message- and that can hasten the mindset change.
Unfortunately the chance of that happening is dismally low.
In reply to desidaaru12
Reminds me of a case in Australia where a man from Afghanistan molested a woman and told the judge that it’s his culture back home!
Guess what happened :D
u are right.. i have seen many movies, especially tamil onces, when a women after facing such situation screams saying dont you have sister’s or mother at home??.. same dialogue again here.. you are right Bhagwad, from the very dialogue it is seen that, they want women to take support from a relation connected to men. cant we stand alone for ourselves??
and stupidly many commenting that she would have provoked or her dress and boozing provoked.. aren’t we seeing men raping 80 yr old women who is conservatively wearing a traditional cloths. why are we still not accepting the fact that women too have rights to enjoy and do what she wants to herself..
//Reminds me of a case in Australia where a man from Afghanistan molested a woman and told the judge that it’s his culture back home!// this really happened?? was the criminal left free as it is his culture??
In reply to ashreyamom
No – he was not left free. The judge ridiculed him for using such an argument :D
I find the “he was provoked” argument insulting to men! As if men are dogs who cannot control themselves. Have written about this twice before:
http://www.bhagwad.com/blog/2012/rights-and-freedoms/no-woman-shares-responsibility-for-her-rape.html/
http://www.bhagwad.com/blog/2010/rights-and-freedoms/the-womans-fault-for-dressing-provocatively.html/