Equals or Victims – What Type of Feminist are You?

I consider myself a staunch supporter of women’s rights. While there are many oppressed groups in India, women are the most visible as well as the most numerous being around half the population. So any victory for them is a victory for others as well. The more barriers that break down in one area, the easier it becomes to overthrow others after all.

Which is why it’s so surprising that I find myself on opposing sides of women’s issues with many who are themselves feminists. I mean we all want the same thing right? I did a bit of thinking and I’ve come to realize that feminists come in two flavors. “Equality” feminists and “Victim” feminists.

Equality Feminists

Equality feminists view themselves as equal to men in every significant way. They believe that a woman should have the same rights and responsibilities as men do.

Victim Feminists

Victim feminists on the other hand view women as victims. As opposed to equality feminists, they want special treatment for women based on their “victim” status. While equality feminists want laws to treat men and women equally, victim feminists want laws to acknowledge that women are victims and treat them in special ways.

I don’t consider myself a feminist at all for the simple reason that I fight for all human rights. But if at all I was one, I would fall into the former category – an equality feminist.

It’s easy to see how the two types of feminists would argue with each other on a variety of issues. Here’s how they stand on some:

Breaking Promises of Marriage

Equality feminists believe that a woman’s virginity is meaningless. If a man has sex with a woman by promising to marry her and later reneges on that promise, it’s no big deal. Nothing of value has been lost in any case. The prize of virginity is a false notion that reduces women to sex objects. It also assumes that women never have sex for pleasure and only “submit to it” because they want to get married.

Victim feminists hold that women need to be protected from predatory men who lure them into having sex by promising marriage. That a broken promise of marriage leads to the woman’s life being “ruined”. That the sole aim of a woman’s life is to get married in the first place and that if people don’t want to marry her anymore, then her entire raison d’etre is gone. They further believe that women don’t enjoy sex.

Property Division and Alimony

Equality feminists want a fair share of the marital property in a divorce. Neither more, nor less. If property was acquired during the marriage, then it should be shared if the couple splits. As far as alimony goes, they want the woman to receive enough support so that she can get a new job and then alimony should stop. They see no need for a woman to be forever supported by a man if she’s healthy to work.

Victim feminists believe that a divorced woman’s life is ruined and deserves to be supported. I’ve written about how proposed divorce laws in India aim to provide the woman with a fixed 50% share even in the husband’s inherited property! This is a pure “victim” mentality assuming that women need extra help that men can do without.

Clarification: I’m not confusing alimony and property division with child support. That’s a completely different issue altogether.

Forced Fatherhood

Equality feminists believe that both a man and a woman are equally responsible for creating a baby. That both mother and father have equal rights over the baby. A woman’s body belongs to her and she is free to either abort or give the baby up for adoption once it’s born. But the man has no choice over his fatherhood. The law says that a man has to support a child even if he never wanted it in the first place. Equality feminists believe that if a man doesn’t want to shoulder the responsibilities of a father and the woman still goes ahead and chooses to have the baby and keep it afterwards, then the man should be able to distance himself of all financial responsibilities. By choosing to have the baby against the father’s wishes, the woman makes it clear that she’s doing this for herself for whatever reasons of her own. And she should own up to that responsibility and not drag the man into the picture.

Victim feminists on the other hand believe that it’s a man’s fault for “not keeping it in his pants”. That a baby is “brought upon” the woman by the man. They don’t view a child as equally created by the parents. It’s the man’s “fault” and that if a woman chooses to have a baby, the man should have no choice but to pay child support for the next 20 years. They don’t acknowledge that a woman has as much (if not more) of a say in whether or not the baby should be born.

The New York Times had an interesting article the other day about this: http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/06/12/is-forced-fatherhood-fair/

Gender selective abortion

Probably the most divisive issue. Equality feminists believe that a woman has the right to abort a fetus regardless of the cause. Whether she’s feeling bored, lost a bet, or simply decided that she’s not interested in being a mother anymore is none of the government’s business. So while they don’t agree with it, they support a woman’s right to abort if she doesn’t want a girl/boy. Gender selective abortion is pretty abhorrent, but it’s her body, and her right to choose.

But victim feminists think that a woman is always forced to abort by her relatives or husband’s family. That no woman would willingly choose to abort a female fetus. They assume this a priori and deny a woman the power to say “no”. So they support broad sweeping laws applying to all women – even to those women who genuinely prefer a girl or boy over the alternative.

There are many other issues where equality feminists and victim feminists fall on different sides of the fence and this is why they argue. They’re in opposition about the most fundamental state of a woman in the world. Is she an equal? Or is she a victim?

Which type of feminist are you?