5 reasons why I won’t tip you if you’re a waiter

It never fails to shock me how a tip is demanded in the US. People simply refuse to listen to reason when we (yes, there are others!) tell them that leaving a tip isn’t necessary. Well, I’m hoping for too much here, but if you’re a waiter, here are 5 reasons why I will try my best not to give any money to you and why the reasons for tipping are crappy.

1. You act as if you’re my best friend

Just leave me alone ok? I don’t want to bloody chit chat with you. I want food. FOOD! Get it? It’s a restaurant. I go there to eat. I go because I want either Italian food, Chinese Food or something else which I can’t get in a McDonald’s. So I come to a restaurant to fulfill my cravings for it. I will pay for what I value – food. Not you.

Christ, you offend me – kneeling down next to my table, pretending to like me and chatting as if you’re my best friend when it’s obvious that all you’re after is the tip! I’m not a bloody money bag you know. I will pay the bill which includes the cost of the food, the environment and the salaries of the people involved – nothing more.

The only way to get money out of me that I don’t have to legally pay is by prying it out of my cold dead hands…

Bottom line: I don’t want to know your name, or interact with you for any longer than I have to in order to place my order. As far as I’m concerned, you’re the equivalent of a conveyor belt that brings me my food and a computer into which I input my order. Of course, I won’t be rude. But don’t expect me to interact with you any more than I would with some stranger.

Image Credit: cafemama

 

Did you earn this tip?

 

2. You don’t get paid enough

And this is my problem how exactly? It’s astonishing that customers are expected to make up for your employer’s cheapness in not paying you a decent wage. Please include the full cost in everyone’s bill thank you very much. I’ll pay it because I have to and the charge is there for me to see.

What’s really funny here is that no one seems to criticize the employers! All criticism is reserved for non tipping customers instead of the owners of the restaurant for not paying a decent wage. Wtf! Could it possibly be because you guys know you can make much more by tips and under report your income to the IRS?

3. You’ll spit in my food if I don’t tip you?

And I’ll shoot your kid if you don’t give me a million dollars. Seriously, am I even hearing this right? You’re actually using the threat of blackmail to make me pay you? Well as long as you’re openly claiming to be a criminal it’s all right I guess.

Fortunately that’s why I prefer buffets. Listen apart from it being illegal, this shows your poor integrity. But if you spit in someone’s food because they didn’t give you money you didn’t earn, then you’re a loser and deserve to be a waiter for the rest of your life.

4. Bringing me my food isn’t worthy of being paid extra

Did you cook it? Did you invent it? No. You picked it up and brought it to me. While it might not be easy, there are plenty of jobs which are much worse – shop floor workers for example. And I’ve been a shop floor manager, so I know. Face it – compared to other jobs, being a waiter is unskilled. You get paid what the market will think your services are worth. You don’t deserve more for your work over and above what your employer should pay you.

5. Money doesn’t grow on trees

I expect you to be grateful and pray for me at night if I tip you 10%. Be happy I gave you anything at all. I worked for the money in my wallet and by giving you some I didn’t have to, I’m doing you a favor. Learn to remember that when people give you something they don’t need to, it’s a favor. You don’t complain that they didn’t give you more!

By the way, the same thing above applies to all professions that demand tips including those on cruise liners.

So now that you understand why I won’t give you money you don’t deserve, stop with the “oh how could you?” attitude. I can. And I will.

Update: Here’s a rebuttal of the many silly justifications for tipping that people have given in the comments section.

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Comments

  1. This is great! If you don’t want to tip your “servants”, seat yourself, make your own drink, go to the kitchen, order directly from the kitchen staff, pick up your own food, eat, get all your own iced tea refills, clean up your table, do your dishes, and set the table for the next person!! Also please don’t forget to take out the trash, the recycling (separate the bottles from the cardboard), sweep and mop! Thanks so much! Saves me so much time! For the record every person who “serves” you in my establishment has a college degree AT MINIMUM. Just let the establishment know how you feel about degrading other humans and I’m sure they’ll be happy to let you serve yourself! Good luck.

    Reply

    • In reply to Lauren

      You are a simple servant. If you don’t like it get a real job.

      Reply

    • In reply to Lauren

      Lauren it is your job to perform those tasks. It is not the customers responsibility to supplement your minimum wage job. Hell, even your employer doesn’t think you are worth more money. You are delusional to think you should get paid extra money. My advice to you us grow the fuck up and get an actual adult job. .

      Reply

      • In reply to Beth

        Another year has gone by since my last post and in the past 12 months I have been busy shitting, spitting, dumpster slicing the plates of known stiffs. Can’t count the number of times I have rubbed my sweaty ballsack on Mr. Patel’s silverware, and pissed in his wineglass…Still not a single problem with law enforcement, or the health department…

        Reply

      • In reply to Shit on your plate

        You are a liar that lives in your parents basement. You are a loser in life, and will remain a virgin forever because no girl wants you.

        Reply

  2. Disgruntled server says:

    I too have been wiping my sweaty ballsack, pissing, sneezing, spitting in people’s food and drinks from whom I know are shitty tippers, especially Indians. If your name is badalad balandabad shikir or anything resembling, I would tell your server first that you aren’t a piece of shit dot knot, and that you tip 15-30% depending on service or I swear to God I am spitting in your food and rubbing my sweaty ass hole and ballsack o hands all over the mouth of your glass, and in your food. Oh and I’m not alone, you can be sure that it’s happening to you wherever you go, Ruth’s Chris, Morton’s, Mc Cormicks, Mcdonald’s Ruby Tuesday… anywhere. Next time one of you piece of shit sandniggers eats out, think about my sweaty asshole and how I finger fucked my ass like a horny 16 year old, and then stirred it in your sweet tea. Sincerely- college educated, certified sommelier, married, non virgin, with 4 adopted children. May you burn in hell only after you get herpes from my butthole fingers.

    Reply

    • In reply to Disgruntled server

      I am 100% sure you have been a liar and a loser your entire life. You have no friends and live in your parents basement. There is no doubt in my mind you will remain a virgin forever. I am also positive that you fantasize live action role play dressed as the mighty Thor or some other characters with other loser adults. I feel very sorry for you.

      Reply

      • Poop on your plate says:

        In reply to Bridget

        No doubt you are a desperate lonely cunt who everyone hates. You’re the type of twat who is hated by her own family.

        Tiard nasty bitch

        Reply

  3. Hi,I am an Indian who goes to restaurant because I like to explor this world.I belive that I have right NOT to tip server no matter what. I like to rush them with my order and pay without any tip.HAHAHAHA.If server follow me on my way out,I will just give them a dollar HAHAHAHA.That way I feel like donating my chump change to that dogging server.It’s funny that you pay for your food and spend more for that tip amount.I go to some restaurant with my friends,5-7 of us will order 3 dishes to share.In the meanwhile we will try to interrupt servers from finishing other tasks,that way they won’t be able to make tip money from other tables HAHAHA.

    Reply

  4. Waitresses make minimum-wage with or without tips because the employer has to make up the difference. Nobody works for less than minimum wage !

    I really wish all the restaurant people would stop lying.

    I feel minimum-wage is all this unskilled job should get. I have no obligation to give you any more money other than to pay my bill.

    If you want to be angry, then be angry with yourself for not having an education to do a skilled job.

    I am wealthy, with a lot of disposable income. Just because I have money does not mean I will waste it tipping. I have money because I am not foolish with it. Telling people to stay home if You don’t want to tip is really stupid because you will have no job then.

    Reply

    • In reply to Uzi

      I don’t tip, because like you said the hired help is getting min wage with or without tips. I am the customer not the serving wenches employer.

      Reply

      • In reply to Randy

        I find it funny you guys say you don’t tip, but when I waitress on the weekends I make over $250 in tips per night every Friday and Saturday. Once I made close to $500 and didn’t have to report any cash tips. Your all just jealous.

        Reply

      • In reply to Wendy

        I’m not jealous. I’m sure if you shake your tits and ass a lot tips will be good till your not pretty anymore.
        I will laugh my ass off if the IRS has your IP traced and you are arrested for failure to pay taxes.
        I make $140,000 a year with a college education. So Wendy I have nothing to be jealous about. Plus I get medical, dental and a employer matching 401K plan up to 25,000 a year.

        Reply

      • In reply to Randy

        I find it hilarious you think you’re any better than the people working waiting, delivery, or other jobs which get tips. Honestly, they are way better people than you scumbags will ever be.

        If it was not for these people working these jobs, you fat lazy scumbags would have to wait on yourselves, you would have to get off your fat asses and do things for yourselves. But oh no, our culture of laziness ensures that people will always have a place to work so as to cater to the fat lazy nobodies who can’t bring themselves to expend the tiniest bit of energy to make their own food, or fetch their own drinks, etc, etc.

        The hilarious thing is nobody really cares about scumbags like you. All you’ve done is out yourselves as the lowest rungs of society, and it’s very telling just how little humanity you actually have.

        So go ahead, and continue making excuses as to how you’re so entitled, but all we see and hear is that your pathetic lives are so terrible that you need to take out your angst, anger, and resentment on innocent people just so you can feel a bit better about the sad waste of life that is you.

        Also those of us with tact and class far outnumber you idiots, and we tip these great people well! So, they will never go without. On the contrary; people like you are in the minority, and one day everyone will see you for what you are.

        With Artificial intelligence, and data collection increasing every single day, vast accurate profiles will be built which will identify people like you; and one day you’ll enter your favorite restaurant, only to have the waiter tell you, “We don’t serve people like you here, Leave or before we call the police.”

        See; Data never dies.. and everything you’ve ever done or said online is saved, and is increasingly being integrated into applications which will be used by people, and businesses. Oh, and the data collection is also being pulled from the real world as well, just look at chinas social credit system, one day America will have something pretty similar, and people like you will have to shut your mouth, and eat your own hostility; otherwise, face being ostracized from society at large. When that day comes, I’ll be smugly laughing at every last one of you fools.

        So next time you treat a waitress like that or spew more shit like this online; just remember, that waitress will soon be putting your attitude, and words into a database that will forever mare your “social score”, and you will never, ever live down your own idiocy.

        LooooooooooL

        Reply

      • In reply to Jesse

        You are delusional. Nothing more needs to be said.

        Reply

  5. If you don’t tip them nobody is going to kill you. It’s just some ugly manner when comparing with decent world here in United States of America.
    It’s kind of awkward that you can afford to dine in restaurants but refuse to leave them decent tip.
    I’m not saying that you are wrong for not tipping them but you can’t just keep doing that everytime you go dine out.It reveals some type of your own destitution.

    Sure,you can say tipping is a foolish way of wasting your money..But be fare about it.
    You don’t have to go genocide on the custom.

    Reply

  6. The waitress performs grunt work because she never went to college or acquired valuable job skills. She is paid min wage for a min job. I see no value in fetching food from the kitchen and raking an order since teens can do it with no training.
    Why am I expected to tip? I am not the employer, and I don’t care if she can’t pay her bills. NOT MY PROBLEM.

    Reply

    • In reply to Stan

      There are plenty of college educated people that work in the restaurant industry.

      Reply

      • In reply to Kate

        If you went to college and wait tables for a living. Obviously you went to community college and took classes in a field that pays poorly because tape rewind and underwater basket weaving are not high paying jobs.

        Reply

      • In reply to Stan

        So it’s completely unheard of for people to go to and actual university and get an education in a “legitimate” field, but not be able to find work in said field and resort to waiting tables or working retail? You have never heard of one instance of that happening in all your life? Or what you have and it’s still that persons fault that no one in their field is hiring once they graduate.

        Reply

      • In reply to Kate

        It is in my world graduating with an MBA starting pay $95,000 on average Get a degree in a worthwhile field you will have no problem getting a job

        Reply

      • In reply to Stan

        Ok so the only problem is that people don’t have a high enough education ok. How did you get experience? Internship(if so paid or unpaid)? Did you know someone where you work and that’s how you got the job? Were you lucky enough to not have to work while in college? These are all questions that would lead someone with an education in the process of getting a higher level of education would need answered and some of the answers would be solved by waiting tables or working in retail to hold them over until they reach their goal and get a job in their field. They still have to pay their student loans at the end of the day.

        Reply

      • In reply to Kate

        Maybe you need better parents that planned for the future, just like those before them. To ensure the success of their children without having to work menial jobs graduating with no education loans at all.

        Networking through fraternity and sorority alumni results in lifelong success.

        People that do janitorial work are always needed. Did you need a job?

        Reply

      • In reply to Stan

        I do not currently need a job and if I did I would ask you for one. My parents didn’t help me with school just like their parents didn’t help them because shocker they couldn’t afford to. Planning or not. I come from a large family whose parents also came from large families. If you wanted to go to school you had to figure it out on your own. Not everyone gets parents that plan for their future like yours apparently did. I hope one day I can help my kids with their education so they don’t have to struggle. Life isn’t that kind and more people need to realize that.

        Reply

      • In reply to Kate

        I am playing the worlds smallest violin🎻 for you. Since your parents couldn’t afford a large family maybe they should’ve used birth control.

        Just another example of poor people having more kids than they can afford. The cycle will keep repeating.

        Rich important people such as myself will always profit from dumb people like you. You always do things you can’t properly afford.

        Reply

      • In reply to Stan

        It’s funny that you say that. Since my mother was on the birth control shot when she got pregnant with 3 of my siblings. So glad she was on birth control 👍. Also just because you have money doesn’t mean you are important.

        Reply

      • In reply to Kate

        In the real world. People with money are rich and powerful. Should’ve had an abortion. Funny how poor people breed like rabbits then collect welfare. Or bitch and moan about how they don’t have any money, and life is so hard boo hoo.

        Reply

      • In reply to Stan

        Who said she was allowed to get an abortion? I’m not looking for your sympathy or crying about my circumstances. I’m stating facts that plague people in this country/world. The only thing I was looking for out of this is for understanding. Clearly you are incapable of understanding anything that you have not experienced based on your “should of had an abortion” line. I would also like to point out that I did not start this comment thread talking about myself. You just assumed I was 👍

        Reply

      • In reply to Kate

        You just had me confused with somebody that gives a fuck. No tip for you.

        Reply

  7. http://www.wbtv.com/2019/02/27/man-accused-dipping-testicles-customers-salsa/
    I hope he rots in prison and gets sued civically. I still refuse to tip.

    Reply

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