Waiters are understandably upset about why I don’t tip and have given many illogical reasons in support of this ridiculous practice. Here’s a rebuttal of the most common ones.
Bullshit 1: We only Pay for the Food. Service is Extra
The menu price doesn’t include just the cost of preparing the food and paying the chef. It includes the restaurant setting, the tables, the cutlery, the effort and investment that the restaurant owner has put into the dining area. Now guess what? Since I’m paying for it, the restaurant has to give it to me. And how do they accomplish this?
Waiters. Ding ding!
See without waiters, the restaurant has no way of delivering the dining experience to me that I’m paying for. I’m paying for sitting down in a nice place. I’m paying for the air conditioning. I’m paying for the nice tablecloth and for my food to be delivered to me in a reasonable time. The menu price covers all this. Waiters are just the restaurant’s way of bringing me my food. Of fulfilling their part of the contractual obligation.
Bottom line. Servers are not independent contractors. They’re not an “extra” that you have to pay for. By hook or crook, the restaurant needs to deliver the product. Whether they use waiters or conveyor belts (a term that many seem to object to), is not my business. I don’t care. The waiters can just melt into the background and let me enjoy my food in peace. If the menu includes free refills or whatever, then waiters are required to deliver that as well. Why? Because…wait for it….I paid for it!
Bullshit 2: It’s the custom. It’s ‘merica!
Yeah right. You do realize that not all customs are created equal don’t you? Slavery was a “custom” back in the day and so was race and sexual discrimination. Anyone with an ounce of integrity does what they feel is right. There are many harmless customs in the world like bowing instead of shaking hands, or using chopsticks instead of forks etc that are morally neutral. It really makes no difference if you follow them or not.
But tipping? Hell no! It’s not morally neutral. If you get better service because you’re a good tipper, then you’re essentially paying a bribe to servers to get them to do their job properly next time. All customs have a limit. And tipping is such a convenient custom isn’t it? Hell, I wish I had a custom in place for people to just throw money at me.
And just in case someone feels I don’t appreciate the US, there are many great things about this country that I love and I’ve blogged about repeatedly. Freedom of expression, the way Americans show respect to their armed forces, the politeness of people as you walk by on the road, the work culture, the individuality.
I just don’t like tipping. It’s not as if a person has to blindly accept everything in a country without judgment. There are good things. And there are bad things. Just like everywhere else.
Bullshit 3: The cost of food will increase dramatically
Someone needs to do basic math. Increasing the price of food to pay minimum wage to waiters will not double the price of food. Some have even gone so far to claim that it’ll increase 4-5 times. Ridiculous. Totally, utterly ridiculous. Let’s dissect this rubbish.
As an example, I’ll take Chili’s. A waitress at Chili’s was so kind as to comment saying that the price of food at her restaurant will increase by 3 times – $30 for a $10 burger. Using the statistics she herself gave in her comment, there are 12 waiters (at full capacity) who need to be paid minimum wage. That’s $5 extra per hour per waiter making it a net total of $60 per hour that has to be added to the price of food on a full day.
$60/hr? For 12 waiters. That’s it! It’s peanuts. If you assume even that each waiter is serving just four tables. That’s $5 an hour extra they have to make from four tables. Even if we say that each table sits for a massive two hours, the extra paid per table is way less than $5. On the total bill. Worst, worst case scenario.
You know what? Customers won’t even notice. So stop the garbage about the prices of food going up several times to pay minimum wage. It’s utter nonsense. The only reason waiters don’t want this system in place is because they earn a hell of a lot more than than minimum wage using our tips. And they come across as the victims.
Waiters are Struggling Mothers/Students
Look, it’s not as if I don’t have sympathy for those who struggle in life. I just don’t think it’s my problem. And I specially don’t like it being impinged upon me. Generosity is one thing. Having money demanded from you is something totally else. Any tip I give is out of the generosity of my heart and I expect some gratitude for helping those in need. It’s not something I have to do since…refer to Myth 1.
Bottom line: Socially mandated tipping is a scam. I can’t believe how intelligent people have been hoodwinked into it. Probably because they like to come across as “nice” people and feel sorry for servers who hover around looking expectantly. Well, I find that irritating and I won’t buy into it.
I really don’t understand the point of refills. If servers had half a brain they would just drop off a pitcher of coke or water at the table. So many times I’ve tipped badly cause I’ve sat for 20 minutes waiting for a glass of water refill. Put a pitcher on the table and problem solved. Doesn’t even matter if one person at the table didn’t order the pop, the cost of pop is probably 5 cents per pitcher and you are more likely to get a good tip that way anyways.
In reply to Jay
The thing with refills is this…. I would love to put a pitcher of soda on your table. LOVE IT! Unfortunately I do not own the restaurant and therefore I do not make the rules. If there is a reason something is not being done that may seem more efficient (like pitchers) there is normally a company policy or rule that says we are not allowed to. Also help out your server when it comes to refills. If I have 5 tables and say 2 people at each that is 10 cups of water not to mention that super specific coffee drink you want me to make to look after. If you are going to guzzle down your soda or water let us know. That way we can put it on our list of many things to do, or just go grab a extra cup for you (that is normally allowed).
Can not express enough that if you have not been a server you should go try it before criticizing this line of work. Sure there are bad servers out there but people in general under tip for reasons that are stupid but they feel just in that decision because they just don’t know any better.
Maybe I’m crazy, but I agree with the idea of not tipping totally, and don’t see why more people do not. While I don’t really think this guy trued to use the most appealing argument style to get his idea out there, and I don’t agree with some of his reasons, I really just don’t think tipping should be a thing at all, and the idea of it is kind of unacceptable if you really look at it…
Specifically, one thing I don’t understand is the idea that tips should be based on a percentage of the price of dinner. If my waitress or waiter comes out the same number of times, and serves me the same as he/she does everyone else at the table, but I got a $10.00 endless refills meal compared to the $30.00 meal the person dining with me got, why do I tip a third of the amount as the person dining with me? I hate having to fear that the moment that I order the cheap dish on the menu is the going to be the moment my waiter/ress decides to disregard the quality of their service to me, and just actually stops being a nice person. Especially when I was just getting to know them, and things were going so well. Because of this, I tip based on the amount of time and service that the waiter/ress gave to me, not by some percentage, and honestly don’t know why we all don’t do this. I think that is more fair. I also don’t feel the need to leave a large tip when my server is swamped with tables, and is going to be making plenty of excess money that hour. I feel waiter/ress’s should obviously be making the minimum wage that we all agreed upon, and try to do what I can when I can to help with that.
Another tip-peeve I have is the idea that we should tip based on an emotional drive to help our server with their financial burden. You’re struggling to buy your books, and keep your apartment. I’m struggling to buy my books, and keep your apartment. I know all about making the late payment once the paycheck comes in, and getting slapped with an extra $50 fee from housing departments, and then having a bigger struggle month after month, hoping for magic to dissolve the burden. Working as a server where my food and shelter is based on the generosity and number of people who happen to dine at my restaurant that month- that would be a stupid move. I don’t work at a restaurant. It is hard to want to give someone pity cash for a job they decided to have, especially when I barely have enough of that myself, but I feel I have to anyway because for some reason their boss gets to keep that money. Am I in essence paying their boss- that’s where the money goes- by giving that tip? I don’t go to restaurants at the time being anyways being I can’t afford the cost, but if I could.. actually thinking of this tip-dilemma kinda makes me not want to even go. It’s like some sort of.. ethical grayland-limbo-.deal with the devil-k do I leave the tip or no..- not about to just go deal with this confounding junk thing… rather stay home and ThugKitchen it.
It’s hard to not want to help your waiter out. But I feel this tip-issue we have today is a lot like plenty of other job-equality issues we face. The problem of not getting paid a fair and acceptable amount for what you do- that isn’t ok. You don’t have to be ok with it. When I am accepted to take a position where I don’t get paid the same amount as someone of the opposite sex whose job is equal, I don’t take the job. If I don’t feel I’m getting paid what I think my duty in that position is worth, I don’t take the job. Value yourself, and take a job that is worth your taking. This is your life, and you don’t have to be miserable. We’re super fortunate here in America, we get a lot of freedom to chose what we do with our own lives. It’s a good thing- not everyone gets that. So many humans fought for these rights that we get to just have. So, yeah, I’m thinking.. kind of awesome. If we all held this sort of value for our freedom to chose jobs critically, I feel these ridiculous pay issues would not exist. If you won’t stand up for yourself, I think other people probably won’t either. And I suggest that waiters and waitresses do so. Because if everyone was not so willing to accept a job that does not pay even close to the amount of money that it should, that job would not exist. If you don’t think that its ok for you to be paid $4/h, then stop taking those jobs.
Whenever the tip issue is argued, we’re always looking at the immediate issues involved. Of course it’s not right for your server to make $4/h. Of course we want to help them out, so we tip them. This solves the issue short term for the waiter/ress, but does absolutely nothing to change the long-term problem. The concept as a whole, of a company not paying it’s workers minimum wages- this is what I’m talking about. It really makes no sense for the solution to be other people paying for the problem, and this does nothing to solve the issue. If you really feel bad for your waitress/ter getting $4/h, stop tipping them. If we all stopped tipping, people would stop working for $4/h that really couldn’t afford or did not like that salary, and would get a new job. Restaurants wouldn’t be able to continue getting away with paying $4/h if no one was going to work for it. The only difference in this scenerio is that the rest of that worker’s wage gets paid by their boss, not you. And if waiter/ress’s don’t find it acceptable that businesses are not adequately paying them and leaving the burden on the rest of us- stop taking tips. Thanks for considering this, people.
In reply to justaperson
Somebody that finally agrees with me. I thought I was going insane.
If you can’t afford to tip then don’t eat out at restaraunts that ask that you do. It’s called being a decent human being and acknowledging the fact that someone has to do these jobs, and the waiters/servers have no control over what their employers pay them. All you are is an entitled douche who must just be better than anyone else.
In reply to Radda
You’re funny.
If you can’t afford to tip sales person when buying a pair of jeans, then don’t buy jeans. It’s called being a decent human being and acknowledging the fact that someone has to do these jobs, and the sales people have no control over what their employers pay them. All you are is an entitled douche who must just be better than anyone else.
Seriously, something that was originally supposedly $45, then you add tax, bs surcharge, bs service fee, bs this and that and on top of all that salary for employees of the company you are paying all this money (called tip) ends up easily $80.
If you are fine with that, you are simply a sheep that accepts whatever imaginary fees you are being thrown at.
OK, I understand your reasons for hating the tipping system in America, I actually hate the tipping custom, as well. However, this system is built into the law. Servers receive a lower per hour wage because their pay is subsidized by tips. Following market principles, this basically means that the price of your meal is subsidized by the average amount that customers tip. When you receive anything better than objectively terrible service and decide not to tip, you are not paying your fair share. When you do this, you are screwing over your servers, plain and simple.
No one is saying you have to tip. It is obviously not a legal obligation. Just because something is not legally wrong, does not mean that it is not morally wrong.
If you want to change the system, you need to advocate for new labor laws. When you refuse to tip for good service, you are not effectively protesting. You are taking money out of hardworking people’s pockets that they DESERVE. You may think this sounds entitled, but as I explained, tips are the main part of a servers compensation, and just because it is not legally mandated, does not mean it is “generous” when you decide to tip. Tipping is expected, and this expectation is built into the prices that you pay.
In reply to Ryan
Thanks for sharing this viewpoint.
In reply to Ryan
“Built into the law” and “no legal obligation” are two diametrically opposite terms. I EXPECT to earn million dollars each day and it is absolutely morally wrong I am not given that. People earning millions is built into the law. Plus, I deserve it as I do work hard.
Last time I ordered pizza, I had to pay the “delivery charge” with a note stating that this is not a tip (what the fudge is it then?!). And then delivery guy’s machine STARTED with 20% tip as the lowest pre-selection!!
Tipping is originally meant as paying EXTRA if and only if a customer is EXTREMELY satisfied with the service. Restaurants took advantage and decided basically not to pay their employees ASSUMING they will always be doing essentially perfect service.
It is perfect for restaurants. Their employees need to be super motivated all the time just to survive bringing the company more business and reputation while at the same time that business is not paying their employees even a minimum wage! To think that this is legal in North America in 2015 is outrageous.
On the other hand, if waitors are so struggling and barely making it, how come in all these years they did not demand change? Perhaps they are making much more now by exploiting “morally right” than simply – here’s an outrageous idea – receiving their salary from their employer?
Greedy companies, greedy waitors, yet somehow customers end up being portrayed as greedy for throwing EXTRA money at both of them. Until people wake up and stop throwing away their hard earned money, waitors won’t demand a change (because they are making MORE money now – plus, it is tax-free).
If you fell for the “morally wrong” propaganda, I hope you will wake up one day. I will not be paying any tips. If the restaurant is too cheap to be their own employees, so be it.
In reply to Carl
WTF are you talking about? No one cares if you expect to earn a million dollars. Sitting on your couch and you getting angry about not getting a million is on the verge of pure insanity. A server expecting to get tipped because that is how the law governs how they get paid and then getting angry because someone doesn’t tip is rational thought.
Plus where is earning millions built into the law? How does that work? The guy at the top of a corporate ladder making tons of money versus someone who teaches others to get to that spot or protect the land we live in doesn’t. None of that is law worthy that is all social construct you fool.
You deserved to be kicked out of every restaurant you eat at. Your assumption that servers/busser/food runners would be paid minimum wage if they took the tip system out is incredibly naive and ignorant. I made upwards of 15-20 dollars an hour as a busser and food runner. I busted my ass, bussed hundreds of guests food, drinks, tables, all the while running food and helping any of my coworkers. I would be moving for 7-8 hours straight with no breaks for eating or to have a smoke break. You are a joke of a human being if you deprived a server their tip. If I ever saw you come into a restaurant I worked at, I would personally make it so that you were never allowed in there again.
In reply to Diego
I feel we think more similarly that you might see us to.
In reply to justaperson
be*.
In reply to Diego
I bet you still get paid more than a private in the US military. And look how many hours they go without a tip. The only tip the get is from the Drill Sergeant telling them to get their heads out of their @$$.. So get over it and stop whining.
In reply to dave
You didn’t think that one through very well did you Dave? Have you been a server? Have you been in the Military? I am guessing the answer to either of those is NO.
Your argument here is a joke basically because you totally forgot about all the crazy benefits you get when you are in the military. But you know its cool that they pay for college and stuff we can just ignore that huge pay check.
In reply to Diego
So you worked hard. For a company that decided not to pay you even a minimum wage. That you accepted. You think people don’t work hard that are not being tipped?!
How is that a problem of a guy who comes in a restaurant, gets a bill and… pays it? He did not pay extra? Of course, there is nothing wrong with the company you work for. A guy who paid $17.75 for a bill that says a total is – $17.75 – he is a greedy mofo here!
I hope you choke on your “paid for” mint on the way out the door and the waitress you just stiffed watches you choke to death on the floor
In reply to Sarah
I am confused here. Are you wishing this to the author or business who do not pay their employees?
It’s almost incredibly how ignorant and greedy you are… You need a thank you?! A validation for paying someone what they worked for? In your first article… You mentioned your [hard earned money that you worked for] the money in your wallet? Why do you think waiters are given tips? Because they… Wait for it… Work for it!
Believe me, if you don’t bust your ads and got he extra mile your tips and therefore income suffers. I’ve worked in Medical care, I’ve worked in an office job, I’ve worked in a grocery store, and I’ve worked fast food, believe me– this is the most strenuous and frustrating job I’ve had be a use of people like you. How can you care about a fellow human being so little? How can you be so uncaring to let the thought “how is that my problem?” Ever cross your mind? It makes me sad to think how lonely your life must be, you troll.
In reply to Nope
I disagree. The customer shouldn’t be held responsible for their income. That is on the employer. If they want to tip, fine. But it shouldn’t be expected. I have worked fast food, janitorial, and furniture delivery jobs in the past. And never once was I tipped, nor did I expect to be. What I expected was for my employer to pay me a fair wage.
In reply to Guy
I have also worked for those jobs as well, plus a server for 12 years. The jobs you described are not even close to the same as being a server. The only one is fast food and by no means is it really that close. The other two pay a lot better per hour and you know exactly what your job is with the same need by every single customer.
Servers get tipped to basically read a new situation every time, know all the food on the menu, know allergies, walk all day, apologize for things that are not under our control, and keep our restaurant clean.
Its also not really up to employers either. If a restaurant works on a tip system he government controls how that works.
This is awesome. I have avoided eating out for this very reason. I can not understand how its my responsibility to pay a restaurants employees. inspried to dine and not tip! Thank you!
In reply to Natasha
I’m inspired to come to your house and just make your dishes and silverware dirty and sprinkles bread crumbs all over your floor.
Do you have kids? If you do then add writing in crayons all over your wall
Do you drink wine? If you do add putting lipstick all over the inside of the rim of all your glasses
The government decides this is how it works not the employer. Also next time you go out and don’t tip take some money out of your next pay check and just give it back to your employer. Basicly the same thing you did to the server.
If you don’t want to tip then just stay home and do it yourself!
In reply to Brian
You are a fool. The government did not simply decide how it works. Ever heard of the National Restaurants Association?? Google that up and tell me your employer didn’t conspire to steal from you and the consumers.
I my opinion nobody should have to tip. Why should the customer be responsible for paying somebody else’s salary? I don’t expect people to tip me for my job. Which most people can’t do by the way. As Dwight from the office once said. “I don’t tip anybody for something I could do myself”.
In reply to guy
Then take your car go to the store get your groceries, take them home, prep all the food, cook the food (so that it tastes good, maybe you actually get your steak medium rare), then clean the pots and pans, clean the plates, polish the silverware, put it all back in its proper place, and then go for a five mile run.
And before you make the argument that your server doesn’t do dishes and cook your food. Your right they don’t but guess who take part of their tips and pays those people who do? Ya…. your server.
If you don’t want to tip for your $10 burger then maybe we should change the law so that tipping is not a thing controlled by the government. Then your burger will just cost $ 14 dollars instead.
You all do realize that customer service IS a difficult job and worth far more than minimum wage correct? Servers not only deliver your food and wait on you hand and foot, we also have work to do behind the scenes, scrub toilets, clean up after your child that puked everywhere, risk getting aick being exposed to your germs you brought into public, not to mention being subjected to the relentless verbal abuse from complaining customers because although its bot our fault your meal was undercooked, youre going to scream at us like it is. And furthermore, after being in this business 10 years, im grateful for every tip i receice. If someone stiffs me, oh well, someone else out there will make it worth my while. I am nice to every customer becausr im a good person, not because im money hungry like this guy claims! Why dont you try having people walk into your job, and treat you like absolute shit for no reason? Yea, those kinds of customers are why i REFUSE to treat anyone negatively at work or in my personal life and i can guarantee hundreds of other servers feel the same..yea, we love tips, but we are nice to you because we are nice. And NO people wont spit in your food if you dont tip. Hahah good lord quit watching so many damn movies. Yea we might feel insulted, but the table next to you probably was so kind that it made up for your asshole self. And what? You dont want to have a conversation? Too bad. Maybe i got this job because i love social interaction. You sir, shouldve ordered carry out. Servers are far more than just money hungry fakers. I love working in customer service. Through the good bad and ugly, i have met some truly amazing people, i have actually made friends out of some customers, and i get to spend my day putting a smile on someones face. I dont have health insurance, paid time off, retirement, 401k or a decent salary, but im happy, right? But i also am in college for business management to one day own a restaurant. Ill be the peon for now, but not forever! And dont even get me started on tipping delivery drivers. They deserve money too!
In reply to K
It is a hard job, nobody denies that. But should the customer be responsible for paying your salary? You work for the company. No health insurance, paid time off, retirement, 401k,…? Should customers pay for that too????
WHY IN ANY ONE THESE PRO-TIPPING POSTS RESTAURANTS ARE NOT BAD GUYS?!?!?!?!?
In reply to Carl
Restaurants do not make the rules for tipping. They can decide to be part of the tipping system or not. Either way once they make that decision there is a set of government laws that define there actions on paying employes.