Waiters are understandably upset about why I don’t tip and have given many illogical reasons in support of this ridiculous practice. Here’s a rebuttal of the most common ones.
Bullshit 1: We only Pay for the Food. Service is Extra
The menu price doesn’t include just the cost of preparing the food and paying the chef. It includes the restaurant setting, the tables, the cutlery, the effort and investment that the restaurant owner has put into the dining area. Now guess what? Since I’m paying for it, the restaurant has to give it to me. And how do they accomplish this?
Waiters. Ding ding!
See without waiters, the restaurant has no way of delivering the dining experience to me that I’m paying for. I’m paying for sitting down in a nice place. I’m paying for the air conditioning. I’m paying for the nice tablecloth and for my food to be delivered to me in a reasonable time. The menu price covers all this. Waiters are just the restaurant’s way of bringing me my food. Of fulfilling their part of the contractual obligation.
Bottom line. Servers are not independent contractors. They’re not an “extra” that you have to pay for. By hook or crook, the restaurant needs to deliver the product. Whether they use waiters or conveyor belts (a term that many seem to object to), is not my business. I don’t care. The waiters can just melt into the background and let me enjoy my food in peace. If the menu includes free refills or whatever, then waiters are required to deliver that as well. Why? Because…wait for it….I paid for it!
Bullshit 2: It’s the custom. It’s ‘merica!
Yeah right. You do realize that not all customs are created equal don’t you? Slavery was a “custom” back in the day and so was race and sexual discrimination. Anyone with an ounce of integrity does what they feel is right. There are many harmless customs in the world like bowing instead of shaking hands, or using chopsticks instead of forks etc that are morally neutral. It really makes no difference if you follow them or not.
But tipping? Hell no! It’s not morally neutral. If you get better service because you’re a good tipper, then you’re essentially paying a bribe to servers to get them to do their job properly next time. All customs have a limit. And tipping is such a convenient custom isn’t it? Hell, I wish I had a custom in place for people to just throw money at me.
And just in case someone feels I don’t appreciate the US, there are many great things about this country that I love and I’ve blogged about repeatedly. Freedom of expression, the way Americans show respect to their armed forces, the politeness of people as you walk by on the road, the work culture, the individuality.
I just don’t like tipping. It’s not as if a person has to blindly accept everything in a country without judgment. There are good things. And there are bad things. Just like everywhere else.
Bullshit 3: The cost of food will increase dramatically
Someone needs to do basic math. Increasing the price of food to pay minimum wage to waiters will not double the price of food. Some have even gone so far to claim that it’ll increase 4-5 times. Ridiculous. Totally, utterly ridiculous. Let’s dissect this rubbish.
As an example, I’ll take Chili’s. A waitress at Chili’s was so kind as to comment saying that the price of food at her restaurant will increase by 3 times – $30 for a $10 burger. Using the statistics she herself gave in her comment, there are 12 waiters (at full capacity) who need to be paid minimum wage. That’s $5 extra per hour per waiter making it a net total of $60 per hour that has to be added to the price of food on a full day.
$60/hr? For 12 waiters. That’s it! It’s peanuts. If you assume even that each waiter is serving just four tables. That’s $5 an hour extra they have to make from four tables. Even if we say that each table sits for a massive two hours, the extra paid per table is way less than $5. On the total bill. Worst, worst case scenario.
You know what? Customers won’t even notice. So stop the garbage about the prices of food going up several times to pay minimum wage. It’s utter nonsense. The only reason waiters don’t want this system in place is because they earn a hell of a lot more than than minimum wage using our tips. And they come across as the victims.
Waiters are Struggling Mothers/Students
Look, it’s not as if I don’t have sympathy for those who struggle in life. I just don’t think it’s my problem. And I specially don’t like it being impinged upon me. Generosity is one thing. Having money demanded from you is something totally else. Any tip I give is out of the generosity of my heart and I expect some gratitude for helping those in need. It’s not something I have to do since…refer to Myth 1.
Bottom line: Socially mandated tipping is a scam. I can’t believe how intelligent people have been hoodwinked into it. Probably because they like to come across as “nice” people and feel sorry for servers who hover around looking expectantly. Well, I find that irritating and I won’t buy into it.
As someone who has been responsible for managing cost in food service I can say for sure that the cost will go up. It will not double but it will increase. Since the restaurant will be able to justify the increase, they have to pay more, I can promise they will put a little extra on the price increase just because they can. Food prices rise 5% and menu prices will rise 10%. That’s just how it works. So you can count on prices rises. I can say how much and no one can because the restaurant will do a test market first to find out what people will pay. I work for tips now and I can say a lot of people don’t tip and I’ve never spit in anyone’s food. There is a difference in people who don’t tip and those who don’t tip and rub it in people’s face. The later group are assholes. I don’t care it you too or not. Just don’t be an asshole about it. I wasn’t an asshole about your job. Welcome to America and God bless your poor soul.
In reply to John
Again, customer is an asshole here. Nevermind your company not paying your salary, right?
Menu prices will rise 10%? So what? Right now, if a customer tips 10%, they are still assholes. Because it is not enough. It has to be at least 15%, but preferrably over 20%.
In reply to Carl
Seriously Carl, just give it up. You’re not making any valid arguments with your responses to the comments, you’re just repeating yourself over and over again which is making you look like an idiot. We get it, you don’t think you should be responsible for the waiter/ress salary, we get it, you won’t pay a tip no matter what. The fact is, this is how people make a living, if you don’t like it, then DON’T DINE OUT!!! Simple as that. Why should you deserve their time and effort for them to get nothing in return for doing their job when this is how the system works?? Buy your own damn food from the grocery store and prepare it yourself, stick to fast food chains or places where you don’t have to tip(PICK UP YOUR OWN DAMN PIZZA!!) and stop being a lazy, cheap piece of shit. You are literally scum. Please tell me, do you have a wife? Kids?? I truly cannot imagine ANY woman, even the most desperate, EVER wanting to waste their time with you, let alone procreate with you. I would have someone torture the living shit out of me until I died before I EVER even spent 10 minutes with you. By blogging all of this rude, ignorant bullshit you are getting NOWHERE! You are not changing a SINGLE thing! You’re just being an asshole. Why?? Are you that pathetic and lonely?? Does your life suck THAT bad?? It really must and TRUST ME, NOBODY will give 2 shits if you off yourself right now! Oh and before you do it, since you’re so cheap, just tell whoever to just dig a hole in the woods somewhere and when they find you just chuck you in it, no headstone or anything, I promise nobody will be visiting.
What a banana hammock, makes me want to go out upon yonder and slay another bushel of berries in me old pouch.
You really want people who are making minimum wage serving your food? Do you know the skill level of people that work for minimum wage?
In reply to Travis
You do realize there are resident doctors out there (who have gone through at least 8 years (on rare occasions 6 years, but often over 8) of post-high school education) who are paid minimum wage. In America. These people are similarly worked into the ground, do not get breaks, and can work 18 hour shifts that are physically and mentally demanding.
Stop putting a price on people’s work. This seems entitled, and also people are not objects of monetary value. We work for the price we accept working for.
In reply to justaperson
@just a person
Sounds like you aren’t from this country, so let me tell you doctors don’t make minimum wage as residents. That’s a myth. Google it. Plus you get to learn to be a doctor. That’s kind of a perk right?
And yes you nailed it, people are not objects or monetary value, but if you accept a job paying minimum wage you have very few skills. And if we stopped using tips for servers and paid them just minimum wage all servers would quit and they would be replaced with pot smoking 16 year olds.
And without tips servers will not get that extra free side of bread, or hook you up with a free drink, or whatever else to try to get a good tip. Try getting your water with lemon and sweeter without the existence of tips, or a hundred free refills. The only incentive servers have without tips would be to do the bare minimum so don’t get fired.
In reply to Travis
Extremely stupid logic. This is like saying products won’t be on shelfs at Walmart if we don’t tip Walmart employees.
Yet, they don’t have the luxury of receiving tax-free bribery like greedy servers.
In reply to Carl
Walmart employees make more than minimum wage.
Honestly, you wanna know the difference service should make..tipping should take place at the beginning of the meal and your service should be based on that. Because servers work hard, and they are there working mostly for your needs.
In reply to Travis
I am an American student doctor applying for my residency at this current time, from America. I also worked for a resident making minimum wage for a year and a half while in college as one of my 3 jobs. While I find you lack of knowledge of what’s really going on out there irritating, I understand that your understanding of wages comes from Google. Please consider that what you observe from salary calculators is not always the full story. I come from a town where people struggle to find food on the weekends, and no one’s out complaining about tips. Anyone making minimum wage, or lucky enough to have a job, is thankful. I think they deserve some respect. Also many do have many skills.
I’m not sure how muck of America you have explored, but check it out. There is a lot more of a range out there than you might expect (rural, urban, Appalachia- these might be good terms to start with). Some areas really struggle- maybe you have to experience these areas to understand. There are plenty of places where minimum wage is not a salary for “pot smoking” people, and the value of money is totally different. My point is just to let you know that your dis-valuing of what we work so hard for can come across differently than you might mean it to.
In reply to Travis
You act like serving is rocket science. Who cares if the pot smoking kid is serving he’s still capable of picking up a tray and bringing me the food that’s on it
In reply to justaperson
Those other jobs that get paid minimum wage like doctors also get crazy benefits.
In reply to Brian
yeah that’s false.
As opposed to having my food served by people who are making two dollars or less per hour? Yes.
Servers get taxed a percentage on their sales. If you’re an asshole and insist on dining out and not tipping, your server is still getting taxed on the sale of your food. Essentially having to pay for the pleasure of serving you cheap douchbag. If you have a problem with tipping, stay home. Learn to cook you lazy fuck and keep your stupid ill informed opinions to yourself.
In reply to Rachel Osborne
Taxed on the sale of your food? A nice way of saying servers are being taxed on breadcrumbs they get from… wait for it… their employer. Outrageous. Nobody else pays income tax, right? :-)
Listen to yourself. I will continue dining out and continue paying the full amount. Tip is a… TIP! It is extra that i usually give if you don’t bug me how excited you are that YOU will be my server today and don’t talk about something that i have zero interest in but need to because it is polite.
When the tip (your salary) becomes included in the bill, i will be happy to pay for it. Until then, i refuse to contribute to gray area of law and bribery where you get to my hard earned (taxed!!!!!) money just because your employer refuses to pay you a salary.
Please stop making servers victims in this. They DO NOT WANT the tip to be included in the bill because they know their life standard will DRAMATICALLY drop because no more tax-free bribery…
In reply to Carl
Servers do make more than minimum wage. We EARN it, actually.
Of course every place is different. Some places I’ve served, I seriously struggled to make it day-to-day. I’m very fortunate now to be employed in a restaurant where I generally make very good tips. Of course, I’ve been doing this long enough to have the skill mastered.
Now onto the next thing that I care enough to respond to, as I laugh at you with friends/coworkers… Yes it DOES take skill to be able to keep a full section of demanding, picky strangers content and charmed . To ensure that their food is modified to their standard through every step- from taking the order to reminding the chefs, and more often than not sending it back to be corrected before it hits the table. That’s one person. A typical section seats at least 20. It is also physically demanding and frustrating when you come across people (yes, they absolutely exist, everywhere) who complain about nothing in hopes of getting a free meal. There are people who give verbal tips, but don’t tip for the impeccable service they’ve received. And on top of all of that, there’s another side of work that I’m sure you also know nothing about… It can be a very hard job, and we deal with more bullshit than any other profession I’ve ever worked or seen. Hell, we deal with people like you daily.
Let’s see, what else… Menu items would absolutely go up drastically- most servers don’t get a paycheck at all so redo your math there sweetie. Service quality would plummet without a doubt unless we made a decent annual salary or hourly pay.
I pay negative paychecks, taxes on my total sales, and tip out the hostesses and bartenders every shift. I literally pay to work there and deal with people who are either rude and don’t tip, or worse (by the way you’re going to hell) nice and don’t tip.
So why do we keep doing it? Some don’t have a choice- dealt a bad hand, just trying to make ends meet, or maybe even made some mistakes and trying to get back on their feet. But I’d say the majority of us (I work with several people who have doctrines and degrees) it’s because at the end of the day, after going through the kind of shift you would never fully understand until you’ve lived it… We make more money. Like I said, this isn’t every servers case- but I’m skilled and fortunate enough to have made this my career. It pays all of my bills and then some.
So go ahead. Don’t tip. You’re not changing a single thing- you’re not making any difference. It’s also not the servers fault that the employers don’t pay and that tipping is a custom. You’re oblivious little rants that you call ‘blogs’ aren’t changing the facts. It’s the way it is. If you tip, you’ll get good service every time. If not, you’re more likely to suck on those ice cubes so we can tend to people who are more considerate.
Are there people like you? Yes. Ignorance is everywhere. But overall people understand that we work for the tips we make and will tip the standard 18-20%, and more of we go above and beyond to make their meal delightful.
And servers? Struggling or fortunate enough to be doing well- Serve on. Don’t let people like this irritate you by not tipping- flip the table, charm the next guests. Always give your best service even if they’re awful- I’ve been tipped $20 by someone who told me from the start he was strongly against tipping. When you’re in the weeds and ready to stab some grinch’s eyeballs out for stiffing you and camping out in your section- don’t let ’em get to you. ✌️
In reply to Carl
Hey Carl, you seem like the guy that goes to Red Robbin and eats way to much and has about 5 refills of lemonade so let me break down the two sides of your so called argument here.
Burger – $10
App – $7
Lemonade – $5 (X5 = $25)
Total using tip system $22 + $ 3.50 Tip = 25.50
Not suing tip system. Food total = 42 straight. Then including tip into price = $45.50
Why on earth would you want that. You just paid the server the same amount and paid the restaurant so much more! I have worked as a manager, server, and I can tell you right now this is how it would work. Lucky for you the government actually decides how the tipping system works and how restaurants either use it or not.
As far as taxes go this is how it actually works. The government decides what the average waiter makes based on tips. Depending on that number that is what determines how much they get paid by their employer. So lets say the government decides that a server should make $8a hour and on average the tips they get allow that to work. So they are taxed at $8 a hour. When they make more then $8 a hour awesome for the server they just made more then normal. When they get tipped less they just lost money due to taxes. I think I was a really good server and I think the biggest pay stub I actually ever got was $0.98. Yet I still walked making about $12 a hour as a fine dinning server.
Learn the facts before you speak
In reply to Carl
Our checks are always $0 because all of it goes to taxes, and at the end of the year we owe a pretty penny to the IRS for the wages that we make that aren’t taxed. And the 3-6% of YOUR total bill that we have to pay at the end of the night isn’t going to taxes, it’s paying other employees in the restaurant. It’s not optional. So yes, if you dine and don’t tip, we lose money waiting on your table.
And currently some restaurants do include the tip, and you will be sad to find out that it is 18%, and servers on average make 18-20%. So our standard of life wouldn’t go down if you were required to tip. Your service might though, seeing as we wouldn’t have to work nearly as hard to make your meal a pleasurable one.!
I was a waiter at four restaurants; and I agree with you. UNLESS, it’s a very, very upscale restaurant where I have to be extremely knowledgable of the wines and items on the menu. Then I am educating you; and the restaurant doesn’t have to do that. They put it on the damn menu; use google. Or learn the shit yourself. If you want to not tip, we’ll give you the highschool student. If you want to learn while you enjoy your meal, well then pay your instructor.
Or the restauranct can just charge you a 15% up charge on the bill for your “trainer”.
In reply to Arlow Farrell
So you are not a restaurant’s employee? You are now an independent trainer?!
The amount of crap people can come up in order to make tax-free money is staggering!
In reply to Carl
How is it tax free? You are required to report your tips at the end of every shift, which you then pay income tax on.
If the reported tips don’t match up to 18 or 20 percent of your total sales, you will get fired.
Don’t worry, Indian guy. The whole world knows what a cheap ass prick you are already. No need to flaunt it.
Next month I’m thrilled to be heading to Sweden (via Istanbul), London, Barcelona, Brussels and hopefully back up into Berlin back to Stockholm to fly home.
With all the planning on this massive “European Vacation” to perform comedy and teach, I got online to see the protocol and customs on tipping. I did this because I’m going to be honest: It’s bad enough some of the countries I’m hitting I’m going to have a major language barrier. I really don’t want to look like a dick not knowing the customs. I don’t wish to look more like an Ugly American than what I already am. :)
So, I researched European tipping and I found Rick Steves’ helpful travel blog:
https://www.ricksteves.com/travel-tips/money/tipping-in-europe
“Restaurant tips are more modest in Europe than in America. At restaurants, check the menu to see if service is included; if it isn’t, a tip of 5–10 percent is normal. In most places, 10 percent is a big tip. If your bucks talk at home, muzzle them on your travels. As a matter of principle, if not economy, the local price should prevail. Please believe me — tipping 15 or 20 percent in Europe is unnecessary, if not culturally ignorant.”
That is a good thing to know as someone not from Europe. As much as this blog claims this is a small cultural idea (like using a fork instead of a chopstick…of which on a side not made me laugh when I went to Tokyo…they immediately gave the black female American a fork of which I did not need), on the reverse tip I would look “Culturally Ignorant” if I went to Europe and laid down my usual six dollars on a thirty dollar tip in Los Angeles. I will give 1.50 in Europe (a tip according to my Tip Calculator app in this country is considered a “Poor Tip”).
As much as this man does not feel tipping is right (and yes, of course you don’t have to tip by law) if you travel to another country, you want to know the cultural aspects of said country so you don’t look “Culturally Ignorant”.
I will curb my tipping in Europe because that is protocol. The same should apply to anyone coming to America: The cultural idea that not tipping at a sit down waiter based restaurant, will not sit well with the majority of the people who live in this country. And when you don’t tip it usually means that the service was shit or you have taken the Mr. Pink “Pulp Fiction” theory of tipping (where in the end the leader tells him to throw in a tip).
If you don’t care about those type of cultural exchanges? There it is. From two articles written on this I get the distinct feeling that the opinion on American Culture on tipping is not going to change. I also get the feeling he probably didn’t tip five percent in Europe, either.
I wrote this years ago as the quote on my Facebook Wall: “When in Rome, don’t act like a douchebag not from Rome.”
If they ask me to put on a head cover as a woman in a Muslim country? That is the culture. I think it’s ridiculous? But when in Rome.
If they segregate the women out on a different floor at a business hotel in Tokyo and I have to take an elevator to take a two dollar fifteen minute shower where the “Shower Kiosk” is in Tokyo? I will be one unhappy lady performing (and yes, I made fun of that onstage improvising). But hey. When in Rome.
When I see a bunch of people in Blackface in Amsterdam around Christmastime and as an African American performer I scream in my head: “This Christmas tradition is my AL JOLSON CHRISTMAS NIGHTMARE!” When I see women lined up in windows where anyplace in this country half the streets lined like this would be under arrest? I just say out loud: Hey. “When in Rome…look at the women in windows and all the Zwarte Piet’s.
I don’t like the idea that I need to pay for a frigging Visa to step foot in the Istanbul Airport and stay there until I fly to Stockholm. I’m not particularly pleased that my American Brain has to use my stupid fingers to get used to the idea that 17:42 means 5:42pm.
Driving on the other side of the road in America. Instead of saying “This is whack” I think like I’m in Rome: “American is whacked for riding on the wrong side of the street”
I have changed time clocks, miles into kilometers and Fahrenheit into Celsius. Because these are the social cultural things that you learn. Along with the idea of how a culture wishes to be treated.
Tippin in American in not a benign cultural thing. I think right now the clicks on “You are an asshole” pretty much covers that idea.
The great thing about this country along with most countries is the idea of not having to do anything you don’t wish to do. So, hey. Don’t tip.
But you are going to look like a douche-bag in America. And that’s cool. We also sort of have the corner market on douchebaggery.
You will fit in fine. Find some awesome American friends like myself: we will wait until you head to the register and cover your lack of tipping so you don’t look like a dick. And this is coming from an African American women. Where culturally here..waiters hate serving me for the stereotype of my culture not tipping.
It’s how we roll. :)
Is anyone aware that by letting restaurants not pay their workers minimum, we are allowing for AND HAVE indentured workers in America. Do you realize that this is the system that is allowing Americans to actually own other people? It is the greedy and deceitful restaurant workers who complain about not getting tips so they can make plenty of extra cash who aggravate me. They are just encouraging the tipping process, and only for their own gain – and will try to fool you into thinking they have it rough (but make $10-$15/h). Encouraging this process of unfair working wages so they can cheat the system and make more money. Try to ask one of the workers at those creepy-extremely cheap Chinese restaurants you go to about their salary, and terms. Why do you think we have these laws which allow us to not pay workers minimum wage? Many of them are owned and forced to harsh working terms (not only including their restaurant service) for years until they are able to buy their way into a free life. American Slaves. Still have those.
In response to “Bullshit 3:” as a waitress, someone who makes well over minimum wage, you’re wrong. The people in the service industry wouldn’t do this job for minimum wage. I currently make upwards of $20 an hour working at an upscale restaurant. I know I have it good, but this job supports me while I go to school and have specific times that I can work on a weird schedule. I can’t afford to get paid minimum wage for the 40+ hours I work while in school full time. I wouldn’t deal with the job (and assholes like you) for $7.25 an hour. And most of the people I work with wouldn’t either. So yes, menu prices would skyrocket if restaurants want to keep their employees. Stop being an ignorant cheapskate or, at the very least, let your server know you’re not planning on paying them.